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The Trailer - Week Six - June 7-10

June 11, 2007 @ 08:20

A fabulous weekend weather wise.

The storm that hit the GTA on Friday night didn't really materialize into much in the Kawarthas, we got some rain, but it was much needed.

I spent Friday power washing my entire empire. The decks, the docks and the tin palace.

Power washing is extremely enjoyable when the temperature is 31 celsius - the mist blows back into your face - its very refreshing.

Saturday afternoon saw another bocce battle on the beach with most of the boys trying figure out what's happened to my game this year. It's up a notch or three.

Saturday night featured a lovely spaghetti dinner at Bruce and Lisa Mallory's, and then it was a trek up to the Tiki Bar to crack and bottle of cheap scotch.

All in all, not very eventful but extremely enjoyable.

And I recieved some good news on Saturday afternoon. After a year of trying to find a lower unit for my engine, a guy near Bobcaygeon got her fixed up in a week.

I really appreciate what this guy did for me but he's a bit of an odd ball.

On Saturday morning he phoned me and started giving me crap because the power tilt on the boat wasn't working.

It was weird. For some reason it was my fault the power tilt didn't work react exactly the way he wanted.

"When was the last time this thing was working." he bellowed into the phone.
"Last year." I said.
"Well it's not working now, and I can't start the engine." he declared.
"I don't know what to say." I retorted. "I'm the customer, and you're the mechanic, so I guess you should fix it."
"You bring it up here and I have no idea what's going on, so you can seen where I'm coming from." he said.
"No I can't see where you're coming from. I gave you the boat to fix it and now you're on the phone yelling at me, and to tell you the truth Chris, you're pissing me off. Fix the damn' boat."

He called me a half hour later and the boat was fixed. I hope he didn't spit in it.

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The Trailer - Week Five - June 1-3

June 4, 2007 @ 09:30

The weekend got off to a disturbing start thanks to my perennial arch enemy the Canada Goose.

About three or four families have chosen our part of the lake to raise their young and every spring and it's become a huge pain the ass.

I have a little beach area at the foot of my lawn and this allows easy access for the big fat bastard geese and their hungry little goslings to invade my property and cover it with shit.

Friday was unbelievable.

According to eye witnesses, shortly after I left the preceding Sunday the geese made invited themselves over and enjoyed my healthy lawn every day at precisely the same time.

Three families; six adults and approximately 20 babies walked from one end of my lawn to the other eating and constantly shitting.

When me and my darlin' arrived on Friday we spent the first hour filling a plastic pail with crap. If there's one saving grace, it's this.

Goose shit is more or less compacted grass with some kind of natural goose adhesive that keeps it together. In other words, it's easy to rake up and that make the job somewhat easier.

However, hundreds of pieces can still slip between the rake spokes so you still pretty much have to go over your entire lawn to make sure you get it all - because if you don't you can track inside or even slip on it.

I love nature and I love animals but I've really grown to despise Canada geese. The population is out of control and something has to be done about it.

Apparently geese are enjoying the same situation as wild rabbits right now. An epidemic of mange a few years ago reduced their natural predators so now they have free run.

They're dirty, and you have to wonder, if they shit that much on my lawn how much shit is going into the lake.

I'm not a violent man but I really can't help it. I have to fight off the urge bash every goddamn one over the side of the head with my shit shovel.

Meanwhile, before I left last night I constructed a "trip line" out of long sticks. I positioned them a few inches above the water line and this is supposed to prevent them from coming ashore.

Geese have a tough time stepping over things and if they're impeded in any way, they'll just go to the next lawn.

Hopefully it works. I'll let you know.

Other stuff from the weekend - Saturday was bitchin' hot so there was just a lot of layin' around, swimming and pounding back the beers.

Saturday night it was feast time at my place. My buddy Darren came up for dinner and we pooled our resources.

He had beef ribs and lamb, I had steak and jerk chicken. Most delicious, most nutritious.

After dinner, everyone gathered at the Tiki Bar to watch the hockey game.

I'm surprised at the split amongst my fellow Trailerites. It seems that down in the city, the vast majority of people want the Ducks to win the Stanley Cup. ABO.

But up north, there's a split. Here's a little video that I shot early in game three, when things were going Ducky.

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The Trailer - Week Four - May 25-27

May 28, 2007 @ 08:50

This was a low key weekend at the trailer.

Me and my darlin' didn't arrive till late Friday night and we bunkered down to watch a movie.

Saturday morning I had to spend the first hour of my day cleaning up goose shit from my lawn and then I helped Delyse plant some flowers.

After that it was down to the beach for some bocce ball and a round robin affair saw me win all three of my singles matches and then I ended the day with a doubles victory.

My arch rival Bruce Mallory took a spanking on this day. He had me 8-2 in the singles match before I stormed back to win 15-12. And then Mallory, paired with Peter Grove, gave up an 8-3 lead in a doubles match that was eventually won by me and Brian Collins 15-13.

Mallory may have crumbled on the bocce pitch but he bounced back with a great performance in front of the barbeque. He came up to my place and cooked up some of his signature beef ribs.

Add that to some jerk chicken and salmon and we had quite the feast, which leads me to another cooking tip.

Try sweet potatoes on the barbeque this way. Cut them in slices about a quarter inch thick, cover with olive oil and then grill on low heat until soft. Good, very good.

Saturday night we sat by the fire and listened to some great tunes and then Sunday we woke up to rain so we loaded up the truck and headed for home.

Last week I mentioned that we had decorated the Tiki Bar with all kinds of lights and other cheesy decorations, but I forgot to take a picture. Well here you go.

And below the picture is a video of the actual decorating party taking place.

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Rammer Heads For The Tiki Bar

May 25, 2007 @ 07:19

You never like to see a guy get fired, but hey, I have to look at the bright side and Craig Ramsay's firing by the Tampa Bay Lightning yesterday means I might have more company at the Tiki Bar this spring.

I made the disclosure last year that I don't frequent just any trailer park; I have my unit parked at a park that's like no other park in trailer park history.

It's such a nice place it attracts the upper end of trailer trash and that's why one of my tin palace neighbours is Craig Ramsay.

Ramsay has a beautiful unit - like a freakin' cottage on wheels - but because of his commitment in recent years as assistant coach of the Lightning, his summer season was rather short.

We didn't see him until the end of the Stanley Cup playoffs, and he was usually gone by the last week of August.

That could all change now.

Unless Rammer gets a job "pronto" he could be up at the trailer within a couple of weeks and that's welcome new for me. I'm usually bored and lonely through June until everybody starts taking holidays in July.

Last year, Rammer and I bonded pretty well. We introduced him to bocce ball and this opened the door for him to slide into all other aspects of trailer culture.

The most memorable night of the season last year was our progressive party during the long weekend in August.

It's like a traveling dinner party. You go from trailer to trailer sampling all kinds of different foods - and I must say, Ramsay offered one of the highlights - he makes a fabulous pieaya

Later on we made our way up to Tiki Bar and that's where the attached picture was taken.

Again, you never like to see a guy get fired but considering my situation this will allow me and Rammer to bond even more.

Who knows, within the next week or so we could be sitting at the Tiki Bar cheering on the Anaheim Ducks.

And I'd like to thank Jeff Marek and Bill Watters for giving a plug on Leafs Lunch yesterday. They were talking about Craig Ramsay, and my Tiki Bar came up.

Have a listen

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The Trailer - Week Three - May 18-21

May 22, 2007 @ 09:30

Despite the schizophrenic weather this long holiday weekend, we still had a fabulous time.

The highlight of the weekend was the decorating of the Tiki Bar. We've decided this will become an annual event on May 2-4.

Everyone got together on Saturday afternoon and treated the occasion like a "tree trimming" at Christmas.

Several people donated signs and lights and other "ornaments" that made the Tiki Bar look as tacky as it should.

A significant highlight this year is a palm tree made out of rope lights. During the day it looks kind of wonky, but at night it looks spectacular.

But what kind of a goof am I? I took pictures of us decorating the Tiki Bar during the day, but I forget to take a picture of it all lit up at night. Look for them next week.

I should mention another highlight of the festivities of Saturday was the birthday of our good friend Gus O'Brien.

The old bugger turned 70, but no shit, he doesn't look a day over 60.

Gus is a great guy. Extremely generous and thoughtful always thinking of what he can do for somebody.

Gus donated about four strings of lights for the Tiki Bar, and he's the guy who found the palm tree down in Lakeland, Florida.

He's a good man and he loves a good rye and diet coke, of which he had many on Saturday.

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The Trailer - Week Two - May 11-16

May 16, 2007 @ 15:53

Week two at the trailer was extremely enjoyable. I shot up Friday without the little woman and hung out with a few of my buddies and my beloved dog Billie.

Friday night I paid a visit to my friend Brian Collins who was having his annual guys weekend.

It was the opening of the Pickerel season and every year Brian has his brother Paul, a normal guy named Bill and an abnormal guy named Aubern up to his trailer for a little fishing.

I lucked out and a simple hello turned into a great game of bocce, about six beers and a steak dinner. After that we watched game on of the Anaheim-Detroit series.

On Saturday I did some more puttering around my tiki bar and then headed up to my buddy Bruce's to bum another meal. Bruce makes outstanding beef ribs on the barbeque and Saturday night only enhanced his reputation.

On Sunday I more or less sat around and waited for the arrival of my good friend Donny Patterson (no relation) who usually visits me for a couple days at the beginning of the season.

Donny just built himself a new motorcycle (a Honda something) and he couldn't wait to hit the open road. He lives in Hamilton so it was quite the road trip.

And it was quite the visit. Between Sunday and Wednesday morning Donny and I had several beers, a couple of road trips to Buckhorn and Lakefield, three great meals and just as many bottles of wine.

However on Monday it got a little tense because my holding tank got full and pump-out day isn't until Tuesday, so Donny and I were staring at the prospect of having to use the communal outhouse until Shaun the park manager brought the honey wagon up the road.

It not so bad for a guy if you only have to take a leak but if you have to have a sit down you've go all the way down to the beach area.

Well let me tell you, wasn't I pleasantly surprised when I heard the unmistakable baffle of the worn out exhaust on the honey wagon Monday afternoon.

Shaun had decided to get some practice in for the upcoming season and he thought he'd pump a few on Monday and then pump the rest on Tuesday, and lucky for me I was on the Monday list.

It meant I could enjoy the comfort of my own throne and not have to go outside in the middle of the night if I had to have a squirt.

It may not sound like much, but believe me, it made my day.

And come to think of it, this may be as good a time as any to show you exactly how this aspect of the trailer park works. A lot of parks offer a system whereby your holding tank is directly connected to the main sewage line. Not our park.

We have pump-outs and this video proves it.

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The Trailer - Week One - May 4-7

May 8, 2007 @ 08:49

"It's now Monday at 8:30 pm. I'm in withdrawl and need my Freddie P fix. You can't still be at the aluminum cottage. Get back to your obligations."

Yes Al, the weather was so fantastic on Sunday that I decided to stay over until Monday, and as I pointed out in last Thursday's posting, I didn't have the technology to update from the Kawarthas, so I had to take a couple of days off.

But it was great.

The tin palace is open and fully functional and it didn't take long to get right back into the regular swing of things.

We cooked big steaks over the open fire, sat on the dock and stared up the lake, and I traded Stanley Cup hats with a couple of other guys who also bought a case of Bud Lite.

I dumped my Ottawa for a Calgary, and traded one of my Tampa Bay's for a Detroit.

I also put the roof on my Tiki Bar, and although I haven't added all the lights and accessories yet, in this video you can still appreciate how it's taking shape.

Category: The Trailer | Video

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The Trailer 2007

May 3, 2007 @ 08:10

Roughly seven months ago I left you with this story. It was finally installment of "The Trailer" for 2006........

"Yes, it's always a sad day when we have to close-up the trailer for the season. It's a long off-season - like seven excruciating months.

But it was a good year. The weather was great, everyone stayed safe and the new dimension of the Tiki Bar provided a lot of fun.

On Saturday night we all gathered the Lodge next door for our annual Thanksgiving blowout which featured a fabulous pot-luck meal, a goofy little awards ceremony and then some bizarre dancing.

The weather was absolutely spectacular this Thanksgiving Day weekend, so that made the heavy hearted job of closing-up a little easier to take.

This picture is just another moment in time, part of the process of protecting yourself against a miserable winter. That's me and Dan Duran, our friend Pam and her dad Papa Doug lowering a Tiki Bar roof panel.

Don't be sad it's over. Be glad it happened."........

Well I'm happy to report that a new season of "The Trailer" begins this weekend.

As a matter of fact, I'm picking Dan Duran up this morning and we heading north to open up.

Opening up is a lot more fun that closing down and it looks like we're going to have some great weather over the next few days.

And that could pose a problem as far as is concerned.

I'm going to take my laptop, but there's a chance the technology won't be in place by tomorrow to allow me to post from the Tiki Bar. I may not be able to post again until Monday.

I'll try, but I can't promise anything. Keep checkin' in.

Until then, enjoy this picture. It's sunset off my dock.

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A New Season Begins May 4, 2007

October 9, 2006 @ 08:01



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