Freddie P's Blog

Oh yea, he bent it, he twisted it, he made the goddamn thing dance and that's why Dan Boncheck, my good friend and trailer neighbour is the 2011 Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce Champ.

Bonchek started the day by beating my wife, and then me and then plowing through the rest of the opposition before capturing the crown that he oh so desperately wanted.

Bonny has played in every park bocce championship since its inception in 1996, but up until Saturday and never even placed.

It may seem silly to an outsider than grown men and women (mostly men, by a long fuckin' shot) care so much about a goofy little game that involves water filled plastic balls.

But not only does the tournament recognize a great friend that we all lost seven years ago, but it gives you bragging rights for a year.... And Bonchek wasted no time.

During the post tournament party on Saturday night, he was seen actually dancing with the trophy, and then Sunday morning Queen's "We are the Champions" could be heard blasting from his trailer before he walked out wearing the Golden Shoes around his neck.

Oh yea, the Golden Shoes are a pair of size 13 Nikes that were spray painted back in 1996 as the first actual emblem of the championships.

Bonchek had a lot of fun through Sunday and the early part of Monday rubbing it in.

As a former two time champion, who doesn't let anyone forget it, Bonchek tried to have some fun with me. I told him he was stealing my act.

Although I have to admit, I can be pretty nauseating when it comes to the bocce championship. I'm a lot like a Hab fan. I haven't won since 2005, which is ancient history in bocce years, but I talk like I won yesterday.

All in all it was a great day. And I should mention that Bonchek beat Jason Woolley in the final. Last year, Jason not only failed to win a game, he failed to score a point, and this year he almost zooms to the top.

A great day, a great tradition and a great group of people.

Category: The Trailer

By mid-afternoon I'll be somewhere on the road that runs behind my trailer with bocce balls in hand, practicing for the 2011 Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce Tournament.

Yes, its that time of year again, when all the trailerites gather for the annual battle that stretches throughout most of Saturday and ends with a huge pot luck feast.

This year I'm offering barbequed pork tenderloin with Jamaican spice. Not necessarily jerk spice you knuckleheads, a different spice that got rave reviews when I served it several weeks ago.

Have I told you that I'm the only two time winner of the Jeff Laird? Yup, I am. Many have won it once, nobody besides me has won it twice, and I've come oh so close to winning it a third and fourth time.

It's a bastardized version of the classic Italian game. We play with plastic balls and we go up and down a dirt road. There's no bordered pitch, just wide open space that provides an adventure at every turn.

It's gonna be a great weekend, the last long weekend of the summer, chance for all of us to get together for one last blast, and this weekend will be highlighted by a visit from Humble Howard and his sweet girlfriend Amanda.

Hope the weather co-operates.

As of Tuesday, we all have to get serious again. For some reason Labour Day does that to you. The fun season comes to an end and we all have to focus on what makes the fun times possible.

It will be a different winter for Humble and I. We're about to embark on a new venture that will be fully explained over the next week or so. If it works, it will be every radio announcers dream.

A show with no restrictions, no regulation and nobody asking why you went an extra 37 seconds on that last break.

If it doesn't work I've got my eye on the plumbing section at Home Depot. It's only two minutes from my house and apparently they have good benefits.

Stayed tuned because we're on the verge of launching a website that will begin to explain everything, including how we need you to help us out.

As for CanadianThinker.com it may change in the coming weeks as well as my focus switches from one thing to another. CT has been great therapy and exercise but it might be time to move on.

One thing I promise. There will be no time given to the provincial election. After eight years of Dalton McGuinty I know who I'm voting for, and I figure those who haven't come to the same conclusion are probably beyond help, so what's the use goin' on about it.

Come Tuesday, its time to turn the corner and give it a shot - I hope you come along for the ride.

But for now, I have to concentrate on my game. How do you like my form?

Category: Stuff | The Trailer

What can I say, like everybody else I've been amazed by the fantastic summer. It's made time at the tin palace very enjoyable to say the least.

May and June sucked, but as soon as Canada Day hit she went the other way and I've got the empties to prove it.

I don't know what the difference is between being at home and being at the tin palace, but it seems returning empties on a regular basis is a lot easier in Brampton. At the trailer I have to take them to one of those satellite return depots and if you don't have to wait for the guy, then he doesn't have empty boxes to put your loose bottles in.

That's another problem when you have a tiki bar that acts as the focal point of the park.

People bring bottles in their cooler bags and then leave them. It means at any given moment I have way more bottles than I do cases. Oh yea, it might put a few more bucks in my pocket, but handling the bottles is a pain the ass.

And speaking of pains in the ass, all is good on the rodent front. Over the past few years I've written about the mink that decided to take-up residence in my boat. He'd eat shell fish at one end and then shit at the other. It made for a terrible mess and left me looking for ways to get rid of the bastard.

It seems cayenne pepper does the trick. Put some along the back transom and when the little prick tries to lift himself into the boat he takes a full nose full.

Last week I mentioned Mr. Bold. It's a young raccoon that's been frequenting my end of the part lately and he doesn't give a shit about anything. If he wants something he just comes and gets it. Last week we're were literally pushing him away with a broom as he tried to get at a bowl of peanuts that were on the tiki bar.

This week we didn't seem him. I know it sounds awful but maybe there are others in the park that aren't as tolerant. Maybe he ended up with a bullet between his eyes.

Oh well.

A few years ago the raccoon problem in the park became so bad that the park manager performed a culling in the fall. Apparently it was a massacre, but it sure as hell made life easier for a couple of years.

Other stuff - as usual the trailer comes with some emotional attachments every year.

We're a pretty tight group up there and have grown into one big family, so when somebody leaves or somebody's kid gets married it becomes quite emotional.

We've had both this year. First of all, my buddy Bruce, he was at the park before I got there and we've become very good friends. At the end of last year, for a number of reasons, he decided that his time was done and he moved out.

His site is still vacant and it bugs the crap out of me. I still can't even walk by his site because it makes me so heavy hearted. He's a good and generous fella who hosted many a good time at his place.

I had more than one perfect steak off his barbeque.

Marriage? Young Ryan Kimber got married back on July 9th. This has particular significance for us because all through the 90's and the early part of the new millennium Ryan and my son Danny were best buds.

They spent all their summers together, inseparable and free as birds.

But there we were a few weeks ago watching Ryan walk down the aisle with his beautiful bride missy. It just couldn't be. Where does the time go?

Last weekend we all had our hearts in our throats again as both Ryan and Danny came up for the weekend and they did a couple of the things they did when they were kids.

Most notably go to the "jumping rock" where they spent many hours not so many years ago.

Our friends Pete and Sylvia had a fish boil one night and that was fantastic. I did a huge beef tenderloin on the barbeque another night and that was superb and I've finally perfected boneless chicken breasts on the barbeque.

They cook so fast and if the heat is too high you dry them out in no time. Here's a tip, throw them on the grill medium heat for a couple of minutes on each side until they have that barbeque look. Then put them on the top shelf to bake. Take them off as soon as the pink disappears.

Juicy.

That's it for now. I don't want to go on too long. From now on, instead of waiting so long before entries and I'll update you more frequently.

That's if you give a shit

Category: The Trailer

It was a great week.

I was back in the big smoke livin' full time with my darlin' again, and as I write this Delyse is busy getting our shit together to head up to the tin palace, for a nice relaxing weekend.

I know what you're thinkin'... relaxing? Where's does an unemployed guy get off talkin' about relaxing?

Hey, everything is relative to your situation and right now my situation calls for a couple of days at the tin palace with some great food and great friends. I'll be back on Sunday night ready to give er' on Monday.

And I also promise this. One of the more popular features of CanadianThinker.com has been my postings about "The Trailer."

I've been a little lax that way again this summer even though some over the top whacky shit has happened, including a hail storm that dropped hail stones literally the size of golf balls.

And I mean it. Everybody also uses the golf ball term but these were literally the size of golf balls.

There's a been a raccoon that keeps comin' back every night, and he's such a prick we've named him "Mr. Bold". He thinks he's owns the fuckin' place.

But that's enough for now. I'll bounce back on Monday with a recap of the trailer season so far, including what happened this weekend.

It will include a bottle of Bell's scotch so I'm hoping there's a happy ending... but you never know.

Category: The Trailer

Sorry people, no update this week because this weekend was spent at the Tragically Hip show in Bobcaygeon.... and Brampton.

How was the concert? Great. From a distance. I didn't venture down into the mud bog and left just in time to avoid the problems they had emptying the park.

I got to see the HIp live on Tuesday night at a 600 seat venue in downtown Peterborough, so I could afford to cut my Bobcaygeon night short.

If you want to see some great pictures from the concert, go here.

Category: The Trailer

What a great Father's Day I had. Both my kids made their way up to the tin palace on Saturday and didn't leave till late Sunday.

Danny's girlfriend Shawna was there also and she choked me up by giving me a Father's Day card with a very nice note inside. It meant a lot.

My kids also gave me nice cards... and booze.

But I gotta tell ya, outside of the cards and gifts the weekend was emotional from another standpoint.

It's hard to believe, but Sunday was the fourth Father's Day since we lost my dad back in '08..... and it just so happened that the flag pole at the end of my dock needed some fixin'.

Over the past couple of years the winter hasn't been kind to my dock and the flag pole is actually the extension of one of the legs. It got pushed onto an angle and it looked pretty sad, so on Saturday when Danny arrived, he and Melanie and I went to work.

I should explain that the flag pole was given to me by my dad back in 1993, the year after I bought my first tin palace. That first trailer was more like a tin hut.

My dad thought that my original dock would be perfect for a flag pole, so on one of his many visits to the trailer he brought one. It's steel conduit with collars in two places making it about 20 feet high.

Before Dickie brought it up, he drilled holes at the top for a pulley and he put one of those things near the bottom that you wrap the rope around. He painted it silver and gave me the first Canadian flag.

Every year I think of my dad when I raise the flag in May, and lower it in October. My dad was thrilled to give me that flag pole and I've made sure to maintain its respect and integrity every year.

This year was a bit different however. We got a late start to the season, the dock had got pushed around by ice and snow and not only was the flag pole on an angle; it had also lost the rope.

Over the past couple of weeks I hated looking at it. It wasn't worthy of the spirit attached to it, but there wasn't much I could do about it without help. Somebody had to lift the dock while the other person pushed the leg straight.

While I stood at the back of the dock, Danny lifted while Melanie pushed. Bingo! It did the trick; she was straight as an arrow and instantly noble again. We installed new rope, clipped on a new flag and Dickie's significant contribution to the tin palace was back in business.

It really is a wonderful thing. I don't think I'd ever be able to put into words what that flag pole means to me. Every time I look at the lake it's there, a reminder of a great father who took so much interest and pride in the little things... like bird houses and flag poles.

I'll be honest; when he first brought the flag pole to the trailer I didn't think that much of it. It was appreciated, but I never dreamed what it would mean in the years to come.

It's become a symbol that I can't imagine ever parting with. In fact I've often thought about that, if I ever leave the park, that flag pole is coming with me.

Yup it was a great weekend and fixin' that flag pole with my two kids, on Father's Day was the capper. Dickie adored Mel and Dan.

Dickie also loved the Kawartha's and he loved the trailer and as long as that flag pole stands, he will remain a big part of it.

Love ya Dickie.

Category: The Trailer

What can I say, the weather blew hogs again. Fortunately, I was only at the tin palace for slightly over 24 hours this weekend.

My beloved son Daniel turned 26 on Friday so my wife and I, along with Danny and his lovely girlfriend Shawna went out for sushi in Brampton. It's great place on Kennedy Rd. just north of Brampton called Japan Buffet or Sushi 168. They seem to go by both names.

$19.99 all you can eat, which includes soft drinks and dessert.

On Saturday we awoke to the usual grey skies and threatening rain and thought we'd stay in "B" town. But as the day wore on, Delyse felt increasingly guilty about not being "up north" to help with preparations for a Jack and Jill shower that's taking place next Saturday.

So about two o'clock we hopped in the car and headed for Burleigh, with weather reports from on-site friends that it was warm and sunny.

Fat chance - by the time we arrived at Lovesick it was miserable, raining, breezy and cool, the typical shit for this spring.

We sat around and watched the Jays hammered and then I barbequed some chicken for dinner.

By this time the rain had stopped so we salvaged some of the day by sitting by a fire and shootin' the shit till about midnight.

Sunday morning? Surprise, more shitty weather. It was spitting rain till about then, and then that gave way to variable cloudiness, mostly clouds, high winds and disturbingly cold air.

Regardless, I got some things done. Cut and trimmed the lawn. Helped my buddy Jerry put his Sea-doo in the water, and then we launched my boat for the first time in two years. I never got around to it last year 'cause I got sick of the filthy mink that's been shitting in it for the past few years.

Despite her advanced age, my skiff started right up and performed well during the 500 yards between where she was launched and my trailer. It was too windy and cold to enjoy a ride, so I headed right for the dock and took about three runs at it while swearing at the wind and November like conditions.

It was shortly after this episode that I said to Delyse "let's get the fuck out of here." So we packed up and headed for home.

I wish there was more to tell you, but there ain't. It was quiet weekend. A lot of the regulars did the smart thing and stayed home.

This coming weekend should be good. As I mentioned earlier, we're celebrating the upcoming marriage of another one of the trailer kids with a Jack and Jill that will no doubt end at the Tiki Bar with everyone whacked out of shape by midnight.

I'll take some pictures. But not of my "Weiner" if you know what I mean.

Category: The Trailer

I promised I'd do a better job of updating the "trailer" posting this year, and I'm going to keep that promise.

Thanks to unbelievably shitty weather, this past weekend was actually our first at the tin palace this season, and that meant lots of catch-up work.

There's always raking, and pruning and planting to do, but this year I had to re-board the floor of a deck that I built a dozen years ago.

I tell ya, I'll never make that mistake again, I'll never use anything but pressure treated lumber when I'm building something.

Back in 1999 I thought it was a good idea to save a few bucks and built the lower portion of my tiered deck in untreated spruce. The plan was to treat it every couple of years, but being the fat ass lazy prick that I am, I never got around to that.

Spin the clock ahead to 2011 and there I am with a bunch of my buddies ripping the top off a deck that would have needed no maintenance if I had spread cheeks and used pressure treated in the first place.

The upper part of the deck was built in 1992, with pressure treated, and it's still fine.

On the upside, these building projects at the trailer always re-enforce the special bond that we have up there. If there's a job to be done, everybody shows up in the morning with their tools and we get 'er done.

Other highlights of the weekend. Delyse got the flowers planted, we decorated the tiki bar and as usual, had a couple of great meals.

Given our middle aged digestive systems, we've backed off the red meat quite and bit and have been preparing a lot more fish lately. Salmon and the such.

The boys got together on Saturday night and watched the hockey game and Sunday we hung out in the glorious sunshine and marveled at the wonderment that is Lovesick Lake.

Working close to the tin palace means I get to spend a lot more time up there, and waking up Monday morning to a mirror like lake, the sound of a loon and the warm sun reaffirmed that when the conditions are right, there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be.

Another great thing about the "family" we enjoy at the park is watching the kids grow up. Not mine, other peoples. Mine are done with the growing things.

It's fun to watch the other kids change from year to year and listen to some of the great things they have to say.

Like my eight year old neighbour Josh Bonchek, who told me when he gets a bit older he's going to take over his parents house and put them in a "nursery" home.

Until next week.

Category: The Trailer

On the subject of the trailer - Tuesday afternoon was beautiful so I got in my car and drove the twenty-five minutes north of my office and did a walk around.

Holy cow people, talk about organic medicine. That first stroll the park blows big time wind through your sails. It's a new beginning and you've got to suck it all in as soon as you can because the season always ends in the blink of an eye.

I'm happy to report that once again my unit wintered well. No leaks, no sags, no mice.

I have some work to do on one of my decks, but I've myself to blame. About ten years ago I decided to go with untreated spruce instead of pressure treated. What an arshole move. The 20 year old pressure treated stuff is still going strong.

The Tiki bar is still standing. A little rickety by nothing a few three inch deck screws won't fix.

My dock dips on one end, but again, no big deal, my buddy Jason will put on his wet suit one day and kick out one of the feet and she'll be as good as new.

It's a fabulous time of the year.

I had a surreal moment while I was there on Tuesday. I stood there in the deafening silence, all alone and I looked around.

Soon there will be life, laughter and a lot of love.

The seven month serenity will soon be cracked by the greatest bunch of people on earth.

Category: The Trailer

Hey asshole
48 hours has come and gone. You going to be be a jerk like you have all summer? If your not going to post anything then get rid of the site.
Troy

I haven't blogged for most of the summer because I simply couldn't find the time. I know what you're thinking, that's a pile of horseshit. What's the big deal sitting your ass down for a few minutes every day and peckin' away at a key board.

You wouldn't think it was a big deal, but when you're kid's getting married, you're trying to take advantage of your tin palace, your house is being renovated and you have a job, it's amazing how quickly a day slips by.

I couldn't never really find the time to muster the necessary concentration that's required to maintain a blog of this quality. You know what I'm sayin?

Not only that, but on those lovely summer nights that I managed to make my way to the tin palace, I didn't have internet access.

And that leads me to an explanation of why I didn't blog about the "trailer" at all this summer.

You see, when I was there, nobody else was. Most weekends me and my sweet were tied to the city for pre-wedding festivities, or we were home stressing over how long it was taking to have the house re-vamped.

Other years, the trailer postings came from the mixture of weekends, friends and booze.

Something always seemed to happen that became worthy of a blog posting. This year there were only two such weekends, but it just so happened that my schedule didn't allow me to blog about them.

So I will now. On the August long weekend the wonderful people who populate the trailer park held an amazing Jack and Jill shower for my precious daughter Melanie and her respectful chosen mate Josh.

It was freakin' crazy.

The whole park got together and created a progressive party with an international theme.

At about four o'clock, our good friend Gus O'Brien arrived at our dock with his pontoon boat decorated in a love boat them. He even had The Love Boat playing on his stereo.

He picked up the love birds along with my wife and me, and my fine son Daniel and his sweet girlfriend Shawna.

Believe me, it's not a case of boring you with the details, I'm not going to give many details because it wouldn't do the event justice. You had to be there. But here's a capsulation.

Our first stop was Italy where our good friends the Kimbers and Groves had decorated their sites like you were somewhere near lake Como in northern Italy. Food, wine and liqueurs.

From there we went to Greece, where our friends Nick and Karen were frying saganaki cheese and serving it with Pita. It was so good it was nuts.

From there it was back on The Love Boat where we visited Brian and Karen Collins site. We like to call it Collin's Cosy Cove.

As we arrived they had a put a sign on their floating raft that said Cozumel. So you know what I'm about to tell ya. The theme was Mexico. We arrived at the dock and were treated to tacos, tequila and treats.

Right next to Collins was Jamaica where our good friends Dan and Jackie, and Darren and Laurie provided Red Stripe Beer and Jamaican patties. Mmm Mmm good.

Back on the "Love Boat" .... Destination Hawaii.

Special friends and neighbours Gerry and Jen, and Dan and Tracey capped off the night with fruit skewers and rum punch. It was great.

The night ended with a super bash at my Tiki Bar. We nearly knocked the dock off its footings with a wild dance and liquorfest. Even my darlin' Delyse was bangin' back the shooters.

Note to those weasels who like to lurk around this website and accuse me of being a trailer trash drunk - I didn't do much to defend myself with this story did I?

The other notable weekend at the trailer this year was for the annual Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce tournament. It was held the weekend of September 11th.

Not much to say here. Fifty participants and I made the semi-finals only to lose to my arch rival Mike Kimber. I launched an impressive comeback to make it close, but in the end, he beat me by three points, 21-18.

Mike went on to lose in the final to upstart, newcomer Jake (forget his last name) but it was another great day in paradise. We had a pot-luck, but very little booze. We were all too tired.

Now, the big event! September 4th was a magical and very emotional day.

If you're a dad whose hasn't had a daughter get married yet, hold onto to your heart because it's something that you really can't put into words.

All the preparations take your mind off the annual event until it's right upon you, and then you wake up the morning of the big day and you turn into a whack job.

Our day was compounded by a weird weather day. We wanted an outdoor ceremony but it didn't look like it was going to happen thanks to the wind, the rain and the cold.

It gets a little stressful looking out the window every five minutes and then having to decide whether to dump the outdoor stuff and hold the ceremony in the reception hall.

We ain't church people.

But wouldn't you know it. As four o'clock approach there was promise in the skies. At three o'clock when Melanie walked down the stairs and I saw her in her wedding dress for the first time, I didn't give a shit if a hurricane hit. It's a sight I'll never forget and admittedly, I lost it a bit. Actually, a lot.

We hopped into the limo and as we approached the venue it stopped raining. As we got out of the limo, the wind died. As Melanie and her bridesmaids adjusted themselves inside the hall, the sun broke through, and when it was time for me to walk Mel through the park, it became a beautiful summers day. It was unbelievable.

Junie says it was Big Dick looking down on his beloved Mel. Usually I don't believe such stuff, but on this day, I bought right into it.

It was a beautiful ceremony and the reception came off without a hitch. The food was good, the spirits were flowing and the dance was great, not to mention the speeches.

I'm very proud of my little girl.... And my son for that matter... they have both grown to be fantastic adults and both haven chose exceptional mates.

Next up, the house renovations.

We should have known, we should have known that the renovations would take a lot longer than the contractors said they would.

Actually, the kitchen guys were great. They were pretty much on time. It was the flooring guy that screwed up our schedule. When he gave us his original quote he said he'd be in and out of the house inside two weeks. It turned out to be seven.

It was the typical scenario. He got the job, quickly moved in and ripped out the old flooring to make sure I couldn't change my mind and then he went into stroker mode.

Don't get me wrong, in the end he did a fabulous job, better than we expected, but holy lord liftin' bejesus Christ, it dragged on and on and on. It was insane.

He held us up so long the painters didn't end up leaving the house until two days before the wedding - out of the gate we thought we'd have at least two weeks. And I'm serious when I say insane.

Before the reno started several people said to me how stressful it can be. I laughed it off thinking how stressful can it be. I don't have to do it. Stress? Over what?

Ha. Believe me, when strange fellas are in your house day after day after day for close to two months, it gets stressful. Especially when your stove is in the living room and your fridge is in the foyer. The laundry was a make-shift kitchen for way too long and I got bloody sick of micro-waved food.

However, in the end, it got done. Not on time, but right on budget and the finished product is very nice.

Other stuff.

I'm going to give you a quick state of the union statement because over the next few days I'm going to get back into the bloggin' big time.

Municipal - All eyes are on Toronto where Rob Ford is stretching his lead in the polls by being a punching bag. The more the other assholes takes shots at him, the more the electorate loves him. It's beautiful.

Provincial - A skunk never loses his stripes. The HST fiasco is so typical of Dalton McLiar. He rejects everything the federal government does, but when it comes to sucking off the HST tit, all of a sudden Dalton loves Stephen. You might want to blame Harper for the HST, but remember, in the end it was Dalton's decision. He bought into a Conservative idea. Prick.

Federal - Stephen Harper continues to steer the country in a level headed, productive and rational manner. Meanwhile, Michael Ignatieff continues his hopeless and awkward quest for power. Dick weed.

Sports - Yes, the Toronto Maple Leafs will finish ahead of the Montreal Canadiens this season and the reasoning is simple. They have more talent.

That's about it kiddies, and to address some of the e-mails I received, let me say this.
No, I am not ill but thanks for asking. I had a thyroid biopsy earlier this summer, but that's precautionary. I'm clean.

I already told you about my colonoscopy, so I don't have to belabor that. I had the snake forced up my ass but it wasn't nearly as bad as some people said it would be.

And on the subject of snakes, I really have to tell you how disappointed I was with some of the ridiculous notes I received from some people regarding my lack of blogging. Downright nasty and cruel.

But I shouldn't be surprised, because I'm assume they come the usual suspects There are a lot of frustrated dick heads out there that love to fling shit at people for no real reason. They like to take a shot, and then, of course, not put their name to it.

To those I say. Bite my clank and call me Larz.

That's about it folks. You're up to date.

I don't like to make out like my welfare is any more important than anyone else's.. but hey, you asked.

Come back and visit often because I promise the posting will pick up.

And by the way, Neighbour John won the hamburger contest. Hands down. And he thanks you for your support.

Category: Family | Friends | Neighbour John | Stuff | The Trailer