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Good Fellas

July 11, 2007 @ 09:38

You've got to feel good for two Canadians this morning.

David Onley, who's been named Ontario's next lieutenant-governor, and Don Cherry who's been given a lifetime membership to the Canadian Legion.

I've met both men over the years but I can't say I know either one of them personally, but I know both these designations will mean the world to both men.

I'm not much of a monarchist, far from it, and any attachment to the Queen annoys me, but Onley plans to use his five year term to improve accessibility for the disabled in Ontario and that sounds great to me.

Onley was stricken with polio when he was three years old and today needs a scooter to get around.

As for Cherry, he's been recognized by the legion for his unwavering and emotional support for Canadian soldiers. Anyone who's seen Hockey Night in Canada knows all about it.

Cherry is thrilled by this but in the eyes on others it will do nothing to lessen how ridiculous it is that this man has not received the order of Canada.

Love him or hate him, compared to some of the other jokers on this list, he deserves to be there.

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Greasy Hooters

July 10, 2007 @ 09:27

I apologize for not posting yesterday. It's funny with this website, I feel like its become my job, and if I don't post on a week day, it just doesn't feel right.

Just so you know, I had to get up early yesterday and make the trek back to Brampton from the trailer with my buddies Ivar Hamilton and Kevin O'Leary.

They're a couple of old friends from the CFNY days and they came up north on Friday and spent three nights with me.

We shared a lot of stories, ate some great food and drank a lot of booze. It was a lot of fun to catch up with these guys who've gone on to other things outside of the radio business.

Ivar is Vice-President of Marketing at Universal Music, and Kevin is a production/sound engineer at Amp' Mobile.

After three days of bumming around at the lake we had to get back to the city for various reasons, and on the way back they offered to buy me lunch because yesterday was my birthday.

We planned on going to a little place in Brampton called Calypso Garden on Kennedy Rd.

It's actually in the same plaza that was home to CFNY for most of the 80's, and a lot of guys, including Kevin and Ivar used to go to Calypso Garden for what is called Caribbean Chinese food.

Son of a bitch. It was closed so we went up the street to Hooters.

Quite the place this Hooters - if its possible to be physically deformed in a good way then all three girls who were working yesterday afternoon fall into this category.

Petite frames with small bottoms and massive boobs, or to keep with the theme, massive hooters.

They really were something to look at and believe me; you couldn't help but keep looking at them. They're unique specimens that not only have to serve food, but who obviously have to put up with a bunch of older guys who appear to be regulars.

You know what I'm talking about. Those guys who sit at the bar and constantly attempt to engage the young lovelies in conversation while leaving the impression they actually think they might have a chance with these girls.

It's rather sad really. But in the end, the girls usually get inflated tips and the horny old bastards get nothing.

Anyway, for the most part if was a pleasant experience, the restaurant was cool providing welcome relief from the oppressive city heat. The beer was cold and it was nice to spend a little more time with Kevin and Ivar.

The only downside of my Hooters visit was the chicken wings. On Mondays they have an all-you-can-eat special for 9.99 and we all decided to go for it, but let me tell you, they didn't lose money on us.

Right off the bat I noticed the wings were greasy but I didn't realize how much until I had almost finished. It was like a delayed reaction. After I was finished my stomach began to gurgle and I felt nauseous, and by the time I got home I had to have a real good sit down.

Three hours later I still felt like crap and couldn't enjoy my birthday dinner with my wife and daughter. They ate, I didn't. I just sat there and thought about how I'll never ever have the wings at Hooters again.

I'd boycott the place altogether but that wouldn't be fair to the waitresses.

Category: Friends | Stuff

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Marc The Litter Guy

July 10, 2007 @ 09:26

I've often made the point on this website that I had litter. It's doesn't make me unique because I'm sure everybody hates litter.

But I really hate litter and it bothers me how the problem is growing rapidly right before our eyes. It's especially troublesome along our highways and on various off-ramps around the GTA, but it's even worse when you see litter on city streets - streets that just a few short years ago we took pride in because they were so clean.

How refreshing to learn about Marc the Litter Guy. He's a 30 year old man in downtown Toronto who's chosen an alternative to panhandling.

Instead of begging for money he walks around the city picking up litter for donations.

He doesn't verbally ask for donations, he wears a sign on his back that points out what he's doing with the hope that as many people as possible give him what they can.

What a fantastic idea. I think everybody should support this guy and hopefully it will unfold like panhandling and the advent of squeegee kids did. Everybody will start doing it.

I refuse to give money to panhandlers and squeegee kids because most of them are nothing more than able-bodied lazy pests.

Garbage pickers are different. Marc the Litter Guy has created his own job and its something that helps the city immensely.

How grand it would be if hundreds of others made the switch from begging.

Category: Stuff

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Public Transit Stinks

July 10, 2007 @ 09:25

I was listening to the Oakley Show this morning and he was talking about public transit and people's refusal to use it because of body odour.

On hot days they pack people in like sardines and the result isn't very pretty. Some people don't have the best personal hygiene and when they get on a packed bus or subway they start to ferment.

It reminds me of when I was a teenager taking the bus up Birchmount Rd. every morning to Stephen Leacock Collegiate.

Going to school wasn't bad, it was coming home. It was alright if I caught the bus precisely at 3:30, but if I missed that bus and got the next one it meant I would catch the crowd from the Laura Secord plant just below Ellesmere.

The mixture of B.O. and chocolate was unbearable. A lot of them were woman and in the summer they wore dresses that exposed their armpits and they had as much or more hair than most vaginas used to.

Droplets of sweat would hang and drop from their underarms and the only thing that would cut the stench of that was the thick smell of chocolate that also clung to their bodies.

What a wonderful day it was in 1974 when I paid for 25 dollars for a 1965 Dodge Van.

Category: Radio | Stuff

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Afternoon Postings

July 9, 2007 @ 08:55

Thanks for checking into on this fine Monday morning.

Due to some commitments and scheduling problems I won't be able to post anything until later this afternoon.

Check back then..

Loving yooze all.

Category: Stuff

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Who Art Thou Swampy

July 6, 2007 @ 08:31

Holy cow! Yesterday I made this posting and the response was amazing - a little disturbing but amazing just the same.

The kick-start came from someone named Swampy who wrote this snappy response.

"Then there is Fred Patterson.

He's 50 "somethin"- about the age he should be settling in for the twilight of his carreer, and saving for retirement, or if he's really lucky, maybe saving for a cottage and a boat.

Instead, Patterson is running at the mouth pretending he is judge and jury. He has already convicted the young black male in a "Steven Truscott" type fashion.

A 50 year old fat man with a community college education - obviously has a problem with young black males(aged 16) so he convicted him after consuming his 15th bud lite at some pretentious "Trailer Park".

I could go on about how much dope Fred has purchased illiegally , or how much pot and hash has been passed around at that Tiki bar- but I don't know the FACTS, so that would be silly.

Obviously Patterson doesn't have that type of discipline in his life to obtain the facts and compared to morning radios grade 8 humour, beer guzzling and pining about an internet connection, what's a little red neck lynching?

This is what its come to in the middle-class, white , suburban hell named Brampton.

Think about how little has happened in the life of a 50ish year old for him to become a hostile psuedo red neck judge. How brazen he is, how troubled he must be to post anything, say anything to get back into mainstream radio with his "pull my finger" grade 8 humour
We may never learn the background of Fred Patterson .

Once he sobers up and makes the trip south to Brampton, we will once again here all the painful details about how Toronto's hockey team is doing this and not doing that! We will get his narrow opionins that are pulled from the Toronto sun.

Of course there will be his usual complaints about Toronto- A city that he doesn't have the balls to live in.
But somehow it won't be his fault , he will say " my wife doesn't want to live in Toronto- or " my dog can't live in the City, or there are too many young black males in the city"

And while precious time is being wasted on mundane blogs , more Red-necks will be brought up to the Tiki Bar to bitch and complain about a culture that they are soooo protected from, drink pissy American beer and pretend they no all the facts- then pass out drunk."

I've got to be honest, I think I know Swampy. It's either someone I've worked with, or somebody in the radio business who really doesn't care for me.

And that's fine. It's crazy to think you could work in an industry for close to 30 years without rubbing someone the wrong way, and I really have no problem with what Swampy wrote.

I use this website to exercise my writing skills and to give my opinion on everything under the sun. I don't think for a minute that everybody‘s going to agree with me, and even if they did, it would make this website a lot less interesting.

The only thing that bothers me about Swampy's posting, is that I know Swampy isn't your name. For some reason you've chosen not to show your face.

I am Fred Patterson. I drink Bud Lite, I vacation at a trailer, I built a tacky Tiki Bar and I wear my heart on my sleeve - but at least I put my name to everything I write.

I have strong opinions and I stand behind them with the invitation for anyone to respond. I have the option on this website to censor or "clear" comments before they appear, but I choose not to.

I'm prepared for any and all criticism, but I'd much prefer the response to have a name attached to it.

Again, I can tell by the way the response is written that I probably know who Swampy is, but for some reason Swampy has chosen to hide.

Just think how cool it would be if Swampy came out of hiding and told everyone who he is - how cool it would be if you all knew who it was and you could follow the dialogue between us.

But that's not the way it is. Instead, Swampy has decided to hide behind a nickname.

And yes I know, there are other people who probably post comments under assumed names. But when someone calls you a fat, racist drunk… you'd sort of like to know who it is.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Category: Stuff

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Have You Seen This Child

July 5, 2007 @ 08:09

This is (name removed and picture altered because of the Youth Criminal Justice Act.)

He's 16 years old - about the age he should be getting his first summer job, and saving for college, or if he's really lucky, maybe saving for his first car.

Instead, he's running from police. They suspect he shot two men in cold blood early yesterday in Scarborough.

A 16 year old kid had a gun, and obviously had a problem with two adults (aged 34 and 43) so he shot them at 3:40 am.

I could go on about how at 16 I wasn't allowed out at 3:40 in the morning, or how my son would never have been allowed to be out on the street at that time but that would be silly.

Obviously he doesn't have that type of discipline in his life and compared to gun ownership, gang activity and drug dealing, what's a little curfew breaking?

This is what its come to in the GTA.

Think about how much has happened in the life of a 16 year old for him to become a fugitive at such an early age. How brazen he is, how troubled he must be to acquire a gun and then actually use it.

Of course there will be all kinds of blame thrown around- it will be the governments fault, society's fault, it will be your fault and it will be my fault.

But somehow it won't be his parent(s) fault.

And while precious time is being wasted on the blame game, more kids like this will be brought into the world to follow the same path.

Category: Stuff

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Dealing with Technology

July 4, 2007 @ 12:43

For those of you who care, I should explain the eratic posting times of lately.

I'm up north, at the trailer, sitting by the Tiki Bar and I'm using an internet system that's somewhat slower than I'm used to.

Not only that, but I'm sharing it with Dan Duran and his wife Jackie.

It's not as slow as dial up, but it's definately not high speed. It's a Telus card that you stick into the side of your laptop and connect with the local wirless company which just happens to be Bell.

It takes me roughly twice as much time to accomplish anything up here, and sometimes I can't do anything because Dan and Jackie are using the card to run their business "Gourmet Safari"

I'd get my own card but the service up here is very expensive and we decided during the summer months we'd split on the service but sacrifice some convenience.

So that's the deal.

While I'm up north I can't promise my usual posting time of nine am each morning. Instead I just have to roll with it and do what I can when I can and ask you to check in a few times a day.

Loving you's all. Each and everyone of ya's.

Category: Stuff

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Blame Game

July 4, 2007 @ 12:41

The world we live in has really become screwy in some respects.

Look at the situation of six year old Shaquan Cadougan. Two years ago he was severely injured in a drive-by shooting near his home in the Jane-Finch area.

It was a horrible event. Little Shaquan was hit by four bullets and two of them are still in his body. He's recovered as best as can be expected but his mother hasn't forgotten what happened and she's not about to let it go.

She's doing what any responsible mother would do.

No, she's not moving out of the area. And no, she's not interested in finding out who was responsible for shooting her son.

She's doing something else.

She's suing the Toronto Community Housing Corporation for not providing enough security in the neighbourhood.

"If there had have been more security things would have been different" said Suzette Cadougan.

You're right Suzette, security, that's the problem.

Category: Stuff

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July 3, 2007 @ 11:02

I've got to be honest, over the holiday weekend I was disconnected from the world at large.

Like everyone else I got pissed off when I heard about the domestic terrorism that was taking place in eastern Ontario on Friday and remain even more pissed off that it lasted as long as it did.

Yes, it could have been worse, but I won't be happy until these blockades are "busted up" the minute they're set up.

I'm also very concerned about what's happening in England.

It's naïve to think that ugly acts of terrorism aren't coming to North America. They are. It's just a matter of time and it's going to be unstoppable. In fact I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.

How do you stop suicide bombers on crowded city streets? How do you prevent car bombs if there's a determined effort to build them?

I think it's absolutely amazing that so many of these scum bags have been arrested before executing their dastardly deeds, but you can only hold your finger in the dyke for so long.

Category: Stuff

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