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February 27, 2008 @ 09:52

Further to the point above, what is to be accomplished by having cultural and racial groups in learning institutions?

I've never been able to get my head around it.

You want an education, so you pay your tuition, buy your books and go to class. Why do so many of these kids want to complicate things by creating divisive groups that usually do nothing more than invite controversy and create elitism.

Why is it so important to blend your education with promoting your heritage. What's the problem with just coming to class, doing your work and then going home.

If you want to join a club, why not the camera club, or the botany club or the drinking team? You might meet a hoser who really turns out to be a nice guy.

What goes on in these racial or cultural clubs that makes them so important or vital to the learning experience? I'd really like to know, and if you're part of one, please hit the "discuss" button and let me know.

All they serve to do is segregate in a country that does all it can to promote diversity and unity and harmony.

Could the time not be better spent in other ways, rather than holding on to or promoting a culture or race that is insignificant to the college or university as a whole.

The irony is the constant accusations of racism that come out of these groups - their very existence wreaks of racism and intolerance of any other students who aren't like "them."

If I had anything to do with it all cultural and racial groups would be banned from colleges and universities. They wouldn't be allowed and even if these kids decided to create them and manage them on the outside, no advertising or promotion would allowed on the inside.

You know, apply the same rules that already exist for a White North American club.

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On The Road Again

February 15, 2008 @ 09:04

I’m heading back to Florida today. I’ve got a 3:20 flight that will take me to Atlanta where I have to kill three hours before getting a connecting flight to Panama City.

Unlike my last several trips however, I will not be taking my laptop computer with me because where I’m going doesn’t have wireless and I can’t be bothered running all over Panama City Beach looking for a signal.

So for the first time in two years, since I first started, I will not be posting anything for an extended period of time.

But that doesn’t mean will be dark. Hell no. I’ve asked a few people to be guest columnists for the week and they readily agreed to help out.

Monday is “Family Day” so that could be a dark day but I recommend you check in anyway because there could be something posted.

On Tuesday, Mark Hebscher of CHCH Live at 5:30 will be my guest columnist, and on Wednesday it’s my favourite writer of all time, Mike Stafford of am 640.

On Thursday, the lovely and talented Donna Skelly of CHCH Live at 5:30 will take control of the website, and on Friday it’s my mother.

Yes, my mother.

Those of you who enjoyed the Humble and Fred Show over the years are more than familiar with Junie P. and her twisted view of the world and she’s looking forward to writing some good stuff next week.

Once again, thanks for supporting and I look forward to returning the on the 25th of February where I plan to start a spring campaign called “Job Search 2008.”

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What's Wrong With This Picture

February 15, 2008 @ 09:03

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with this picture, we’re about four months into a dollar at par but some companies are still gouging the crap out of us.

I bought this “Hallmark” card at Fortino’s yesterday and I was totally pissed when I flipped it over and saw the price.

Needless to say I called for the store manager and asked him if there would be some consideration on the Canadian price because it was roughly a third more than the American price and the last time I looked the Canadian dollar was worth more than the goddamn American dollar.

He apologized and said there was nothing he could do, a lot of people were complaining and he suggested I not buy it.

But I just had to because it said all kinds of gooey shit about my wife being my friend and my lover and the cards I usually get at the dollar don’t get that indepth.

So I got sucked in.

I saved a few bucks by not buying roses and then I piss it all away on a card.

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Boycott The Rose

February 14, 2008 @ 08:30

Hey, I a realize everybody's got to make a living and you've got to take advantage when opportunity arises, but part of the free market system is our opportunity to say "no."

Once again today, with the blessing of my sweet wife Delyse, who makes no demands on Freddie P. come Valentines Day, I will boycott the rose.

A few years back I paid sixty dollars for a dozen roses that were priced at half that just a few days before and Delyse was the first one to tell me not to get sucked in.

I started to buy her beautiful bouquets of fresh cut flowers and that's what I plan to do today as well.

Yes, the price on these increase as well, but not to the extent that roses do as florists play on the guilt and the weakness of men who are married to demanding she-devils.

If you don't want to get flowers you can always buy one of those stupid goddamn Vermont Bears that everyone is talking about, or you can always go to lingerie.

Something of the crotchless variety. Women are always touched by such things.

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February 14, 2008 @ 08:29

Besides having a wonderful wife, fabulous kids, and a whack of fantastic friends, I also have a great agent.

My agents name is Paul and from time to time his assistant Darrell will call me to come downtown and audition for commercials.

I enjoy doing it, but to be brutally honest, I’m not very successful at it because I’m not much of a voice actor. I can’t do a lot of things with my voice, so if a commercial calls for the “gruff cowboy type” or the “sophisticated professor type” my phone doesn’t ring.

When I get auditions they’re usually for products that are consistent with my basic profile, that being a “middle aged man.”

Yesterday was such a day and although quite humiliating it was also quite funny.

I was asked to be at "Wanted Studios" on King St W. and when I arrived I was pleased to see a few old familiar faces.

Humble Howard was there, and so was Dan Duran, former CFNY colleague Norm Spencer and good guy Bill Hayes from Q-107, and all of us were there to read for the same commercial and all of us are of the same profile.

A profile that's apparently consistent with promoting "Serenity for Men."

It made us all bust a gut, and although I can't speak for the other guys, I swear I didn't lose a drop.

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Who's The Bad Guy

February 12, 2008 @ 11:17

I found today’s story about lottery winners to be very ironic. It seems several winners have been put through the grinder before they can collect their prizes.

The OLG insists on knowing where winners bought their tickets before issuing cheques and this has caused big problems for several winners who couldn’t readily come up with an answer.

I’ve got to be honest; I’d be hard pressed in some cases to remember where I bought a ticket because I type of guy who buys tickets on a whim. I might be up north, in Hamilton or around the corner. I see a kiosk, see the prize money and then buy a line of quick picks.

I could easily find myself in the position of not coming up with the location I bought the ticket, which is obviously a cross check by the OLG because I assume they know where the tickets are bought.

What I find ironic as how we get word of an obvious crackdown against purchasers, but there really hasn’t been anything done to crackdown on retailers who were the focus of a major controversy in the fall.

Tickets now have to be signed before they can be accepted in corner stores, and apparently some outlets have scanners that the purchaser can use, but that’s about it.

There has been nothing done about retailers being prohibited from buying tickets, and nothing else to make us feel any more secure when it comes to who’s handling our money and tickets.

How ironic that all of sudden the purchaser has become the suspect.

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A Special Place

February 12, 2008 @ 11:15

How about this, when the OPP completes its sweep of Ontario, exposing those who are distributing child pornography, why not round them up and build them a special place.

Our permissive candy-ass society would never dream of putting a rope around their necks and snuffing them from existence, so why not build them a special place, a place just for them.

Investigators estimate that over 15 thousand computers in Ontario are being used to distribute kiddy porn and many believe that’s on the conservative side. Across the country estimates are upwards of forty four thousand.

Considering that police know what’s going on, and they know how many people are involved, flushing these rats out of their holes should be no problem and once they do it would be nice to have our judicial system come through.

Rather than treat these pigs with kid gloves and deliver sentences that leave us all shaking our heads in disappointed disbelief, how about doing the next best thing to executing them. Hey, it might even be better.

Put them in a special place.

Build a big compound somewhere with cold concrete walls, beds without mattresses and damp floors. Food would be basic, there would be no recreation, medication or health care, and there would be no law within the walls.

Guards would be on the outside just make sure nobody escaped, but what went on inside would not be controlled.

To appease the bleeding hearts, it would appear these filthy bastards would be given a chance to survive, however being filthy bastards they would surely take care of themselves by either killing each other or by suffering a slow and miserable death, hopefully by a STD.

This may seem heartless and extreme, but then think of the crime, think of your kids if you have them, and then give me a better idea.

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When I'm 64 - Maybe

February 11, 2008 @ 10:20

The sun is very therapeutic. All you have to do is leave Tampa, Florida at seven o'clock in the evening with the temperature 20 degrees celsius and arrive in Toronto two hours later with the temperature minus three celsius.

Walking out of the terminal into the frigid air gives you an immense attitude adjustment and lets you appreciate how people suffer from seasonal affective disorder.

Unfortunately most people don't get a break from the winter so they're not really aware of why they're so bummed out and that raises the question, is it better to stay here and flat line, or is it worse to go south and suffer a spike in emotion.

Sitting here right now my mind keeps drifting back to what I was doing exactly a week ago, and I've got to believe that in some respects it's more depressing than not having gone at all.

On the positive side it will make the winter one week shorter and having been in Florida for the week has confirmed that I'm not ready to retire.

It was a fantastic week and I left wanting more, which will happen this Friday when I leave for Panama City Beach for nine days. But last week also left me knowing that I'm not ready just yet to stay in Florida for months on end in the final stage of my life.

In some respects its "cute" to see elderly couples wandering around malls and walking up and down the beach with bored looks on their faces, yet on the other hand it tells me I don't want any part of it yet.

One of the great things about going "up north" on summer weekends is the five days in between that you "can't" be there. The anticipation heightens the experience and that's how I feel about Florida right now.

Maybe I'm observant to a fault and I'm writing too much into it, but the thought of retiring and spending my winters in Florida doesn't appeal to me very much at this point in my life.

Apparently it's the thing to do and it represents a level of achievement, but other than the men I see on the golf courses down there, most of the old guys look horrifically bored as they walk a step behind their wives.

I get the impression they'd rather be home in their work shops or in more familiar surroundings.

You can't golf every day.

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Bad Golf, Bad Ribs, Bad Eyes

February 8, 2008 @ 10:26

Indian Shores, FLA - Yesterday I wrote about a great little golf course and a superb restaurant, well today I have to do the opposite.

Hey, when you're scouting around on holidays it's often hit and miss and yesterday we missed on a couple of counts and we met Americans who can't see hockey pucks.

First of all, the golf course, it's called Mangrove Bay and it's not that far from the little gem I talked about yesterday called Cove Cay. I won't even bother to give you the directions or link it to this posting because it ain't worth it.

Mangrove Bay cost forty four bucks a round with a cart, but that's only five bucks cheaper than Cove Cay which is twice the golf course.

Mangrove Bay wasn't in the best of condition and it literally stunk on the front nine. It's in the middle of an industrial area and I swear one of the industries has to be a shit factory, or a some kind of a human waste facility.

There's a similar aroma near the Humber River when your heading along the Gardiner, although yesterday I don't know what stunk worse, the golf course or my short game.

At the best of time I can't control the distance of my pitching wedge or nine iron but yesterday I kept topping the ball and sending worm burners into the next county.

My putter let me down as well, no less than four times I had balls sit on the edge of the cup but they refused to go down. I must not live right.

And if that wasn't bad enough, on the fourth tee I went back to the cart to switch and club and fell off a little curb twisting my ankle. It wasn't too bad until I got back to the condo last night and it started to throb.

It's still sore this morning but it won't stop me from the playing final round of our trip at Dunedin Golf and Country Club, an old course that Babe Ruth once played at. It's been around since the 1820's. But don't be fooled by its glory when it comes to price, it's only fifty five bucks a round. Why else do you think we're playing it?

Last night we had a less than average meal. Me and my buddy Darren are like a couple of old bloodhounds when it comes to food.

We left Mangrove yesterday and headed for PJ's Oyster Bar. It was going to be a safe a classic dinner of Oysters and King Crab Legs. We were hungry and when you go to PJ's you know exactly what you're getting. No surprises, only good solid reasonably priced seafood.

Well wouldn't you know it, we're heading west on Hwy. 688 and it struck us at a stop light. The aroma of another oak fired barbeque pit. It was strong and unbelievably good.

We looked at each other and exclaimed how wonderful this little patch of the world had become and immediately started looking around to see if we could tell where it was coming from.

There was a stretch of family restaurants behind us, but one called Matchstick Grill and Bar stuck out and we determined that must be it, so we immediately got into a debate on whether we should turn left at the light and follow the smell.

Decisions don't come easy for us when it comes to food so our analysis of playing it safe at PJ's or trying a new place dragged on for some time, but that's OK because the bloody' traffic lights down here take forever.

Finally we decided to go for it. As Darren said "you can't expand your horizons if you don't try new stuff, so lets go check it out."

We wheeled around and found our way into the parking lot and maneuvered our way through countless cars and victims of obesity before arriving at Matchstick Grill and Bar.

Yes, this is where the aroma was coming from and yes it looked like you're typically family restaurant and yes we decided to eat there.


We had an appetizer of oak fired chicken wings and they were pretty good, but the for some reason, even though we knew the ribs weren't oak fired, we ordered them.

They were average at best, but the taste of the food was affected even further by the knowledge that we had made the wrong call and we could have been eating oysters and king crab at PJ's

Paying the sixty eight dollar bill was difficult and regrettable but a lesson well learned, when you're hungry, really hungry, don't screw around with a sure thing and don't let your hunger affect your reasoning to the point where you end up in a family restaurant with extremely large people eating extremely large portions.

And before I go I should back up a bit.

At the golf course yesterday, we were paired with a couple of nice fellas from Boston named Dan and David. I realize there is no text book on "gay" but if I had to guess I'd say these were a couple of middle aged gay guys who were down for a few days of golf.

I also realize you don't have to be gay to find so much pleasure in the little things in life because if I did think that way it would stereotyping - but man oh man did these guys ever find pleasure in the little things, and they expressed themselves in what I would call a "light in the loafers" kind of way.

Don't get me wrong, they were excellent golfers but their unending "glee" at basic shots filled my head with horrible thoughts of what might be going on at their condo later that night.

But none of that is why I mentioned them. This is why. During our various conversations over the day, we touched on sports a few times.

We ribbed the nice fellas about the Patriots and then paid respect to the Bruins and the new look Celtics, but when it came to hockey these guys were clueless, and do you want to know why?

Because they can't follow the puck on TV. I've heard this complaint from Americans before and it's why FOX Television added that blue streak to their coverage a few years back, but I had never been face to face with an Yank when they said it.

"You're kidding aren't you David" I said.

"No" he said, "hockey's a much better game live because you can follow the action."

Then Dan piped in. "David" he said, "I just got a new high definition television and hockey's much better on it, you can actually see the puck."

This got me to wondering, if these guys were lovers Dan would know that David had a new high definition television, so maybe they aren't gay. Or maybe they're in other relationships, much like Darren and me, only Darren and me are into women.

Anyway, it didn't matter at that point, I was more interested in why Americans apparently have worse eye sight than Canadians.

How can we have no problem seeing a hockey puck on television but it's a paramount challenge to people in the States?

Neither Dan nor David seemed interested in continuing the conversation, even after I made the point that a baseball is just as small as a puck and you can see that traveling at 90 miles an hour on TV.

They simply shrugged and then David shrieked as Dan dropped a three foot putt.

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More Good Eatin'

February 7, 2008 @ 09:11

Indian Shores, FLA - Here we go again. I’m in Florida and I’m going to talk about food.

I realize a lot of you will be heading down to this area for March break and it’s convenient to get the heads up on great restaurants, so take this advice – if you’re going to be in the Clearwater area make sure you visit the Island Way Grill on the causeway leaving the beach.

It’s actually called Gulf to Bay Blvd. or Hwy 60 and it’s the causeway/bridge that links Clearwater Beach to the city of Clearwater. About halfway across there’s a set of lights and if you’re coming from the beach you turn left onto Island Way and if you’re coming from the city you turn right. The restaurant is right there on your left.

We went there for the third time yesterday and it was outstanding again. The Island Way Grill has a sushi bar that’s beyond compare and every day they have a sushi special or what they call a house roll.

Yesterday it was tuna, cream cheese, gobo, asparagus and crab battered a tempura fried.
Usually I don’t like anything battered, but this was unbelievable. The type of thing you keep staring at because you can’t believe how goddamn good it is.

After that I had a small order of mussels in a coconut sauce and then for the main course I ordered grilled Grouper and I had them Oscar it.

Baby come on!

I should also mention that The Island Way Grill has an oak fired barbeque pit that adds an unbelievable taste to everything, and adds an unbelievable aroma to the immediate neighbourhood.

You can taste the oak but it’s subtle and interesting and so very unique. Last time I was there, I had steak and it was one of the best I’ve ever had.

My buddy Darren had the sushi special as well yesterday, along with five of the biggest shrimp I’ve ever seen and the Island Grilled Chicken – two boneless breasts seasoned with garlic, boursin cheese, parsley and cilantro and fresh peach chutney.

It was so good he was uncharacteristically quiet during this meal.

Usually in restaurants, he yells incoherently and embarrasses those he’s dining with, especially his wife. But she’s not here this week so it seems like the meal went to waste from that standpoint.

Anyway kids, that’s the latest from Florida. Good food, bright sun and good fun.

And oh, by the way, if you plan on bringing your golf clubs to the area here’s a tip.

It’s called Cove Cay and its off Hwy 19 south of Gulf to Bay. Forty nine bucks with a cart and it’s a challenging little bastard but it’s a lot of fun and absolutely beautiful.

Check it out ya buggers.

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