So get a load of this.
Back on July 9th, my wonderful family and I attended the wedding of Ryan Kimber, the wonderful son of our wonderful friends Mike and Pam Kimber.
It took place at the supposedly wonderful Nottawasaga Inn in the charming wonderland of Alliston, Ontario.
Everything is fine and dandy through the late afternoon when arrived and right through the evening until after the wedding.
The ceremony was nice, the reception was a blast and we were all pretty tired, if not well oiled by the time it was over.
A group of us left the reception which was on the ground floor and we made our way up to the fifth floor where at least thirty invited guests had rented rooms for the night.
You can't be drinkin' and drivin' ya buggers.
Anyway, we get off the painfully slow elevator to be greeted by a couple of wannabee cop security guards who are in full Barney Fife mode. (for those of you too young, Barney Fife was a 1960's TV character on the Andy Griffith Show. He played a deputy sheriff who took himself way too seriously.)
Immediately, Barney and his buddy Barney Jr. are all over us. Accusing of making too much noise, which was crazy because we had just come up from the reception.
Needless to say, I had a little fun with these fuckers asking them a bunch of questions they couldn't answer and then finally they went away with stunned looks on their faces and their water guns in their holsters.
The night proceeded with some quiet conversation in a couple of rooms and after we ordered a couple of large pizzas (I ate six pieces) we all hit the hay.
The next morning upon check-out there was no mention of noise, no mention of any complaints and no indication that some of us were eventually going to have the book thrown at us.
Here's the deal.
A couple of weeks ago Pam gave us the heads up. Some of the guests had checked their Visa statements and the Nottawasaga had arbitrarily tagged a "noise fee" onto their bills.
A noise fee. A fuckin' noise fee. What the hell is a noise fee?
Well it turns out, in the fine print of something you sign when you check in there's something about a charge if you're responsible for disrupting the stay of another guest.
When Pam told me I laughed and thought she was kidding, but she wasn't. Needless to say, as host of the wedding and having chosen The Nottawasaga Inn as the location, she was embarrassed for the guests that had been charged a stupid goddamn "noise fee."
Again, not one guest was told or warned about being charged while they were checking out. The "noise fee" it turns out was added to their bill two weeks later.
Two weeks later! Are you kidding me?
No they weren't kidding and yesterday I got the Visa statement to prove it. There's a 36 dollar and 16 cent feel on my statement.
Well let me tell ya, Freddie P. blew his stack when he opened his Visa statement at approximately nine o'clock last night. I didn't waste any time calling The Nottawasaga Inn to notify them of my immense displeasure.
As you might expect I got the run around and was told someone would contact me today.
By 11 o'clock this morning when I hadn't heard from anyone I called back and got more of a run around. The accounting department told me the fee is spelled out in the fine print and as far they're concerned they have no obligation to tell the customer about it upon check-out.
I disagreed. Quite vehemently. With volume.
But again, I got the run-around. I was told only the manager could reverse the charge and he would call me back as soon as possible. Well that call still hasn't come.
But think about it people. You go to a hotel for a wedding, they put all the people from the same wedding on the same floor, but right in the middle they plop a couple who have no ties to the festivities. Brilliant.
Then, you're accused of making too much noise when you're not even there and then you're charged for it.... Two weeks after the freakin' wedding.
The wedding was July 9th and my "noise fee" went through on the 27th. So between the 9th and 27th I can only assume that the Nottawasaga Inn determined who the accused were, had some kind of a trial, arrived at a guilty verdict and then levied a fine which they arbitrarily put on unsuspecting patrons Visa's.
How's that for good business practice. Makes me really want to go back there. Makes me really want to recommend The Nottawasaga Inn to someone getting married. Really makes me think nice thoughts about the joint.
Holy shit, me and my wife still have some life in us but believe me we aren't really capable of committing such a crime. The biggest noise coming out of me that night was the squeekin' in my knees after rippin' up the dance floor in slow motion.
Thirty six bucks is no big deal, it's the principle. How is this any way to do business?
It's amazing, they got their 36 bucks from half a dozen people, but they've given no forethought to how this can play out in today's world.
Blogs like this and things like Tripadvisor where I'm going to post something really juicy.
What a joint. What a scam. And nice try tacking it on two weeks later, I'm sure hoping that I wouldn't notice. Well I did.