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The Reluctant Canadian

May 31, 2011 @ 08:09

I feel like a big shit, but I have to say it. Deep down I want the Boston Bruins to win the Stanley Cup.

I know I should be pulling for the Canadian team, but there's very little about this Canadian team that I like. I'm not big on the Sedin Sisters, I can't stand Maxim Lapierre and I've never been able to warm up to Roberto Luongo.

And let's be honest, Vancouver doesn't think very highly of Toronto and I'm talkin' beyond the Maple Leafs.

All the feedback I get says they hate anything Toronto in Vancouver, so if that's the case, I don't feel so bad about not totally supporting the Canucks.

Let's break down the rosters. How about this, did you know of all the Bruins who've appeared in this year's playoffs as forwards, only one isn't from Canada? David Krejci.

Three of their six defensemen are Canadians, but they don't have a Canadian goaltender.

Compare that to the Canucks. They have no less than six non-Canadians up front and no Canadians play when they have a man advantage.

The only have two regular Canadians on defense and Luongo in goal.

All tolled - the Bruins have 16 Canadians as regulars and the Canucks have 11 - allow this to fluctuate depending on injury and last minute scratches, but I'm talkin' regulars.

So that's deal from this corner. I look at the Canucks as I do the recent colonoscopy that I had. You don't really want to buy in, but you have to.

Vancouver fans can be assholes and the Sedin's and Lapierre are like polyps, but hey, its Canada so you pull your knees to your chest and you smile ..... I guess.

Category: Sports

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Next Step, Realignment

May 21, 2011 @ 17:58

With the Thrashers moving to Winnipeg, one of the pressing issues that the NHL will have to deal with is re-alignment.

Word is, it's too late for the upcoming season so Winning, as bizarre as it seems, will have to play in the Southeast Division, a simple case of changing cities, but not divisions.

However, if something could be done immediately, or even if it's pushed off for a year, here are a couple of scenarios for re-alignment.

The easiest thing to do would be to put the Columbus Blue Jackets in the Southeast, and move the Jets to the Central division. Geographically it aligns pretty well for time zones as well.

But it does not address the Red Wing factor. Since the early 80's Detroit has been parked in the Western Conference and apparently owner Mike Ilitch has had enough. They're in the Eastern Time zone and the travel is punishing.

Ilitch has big time pull in the NHL and he could force a move east.

If that happens, here's what I'd like to see. The Wings move into the Northeast Division with the Leafs, Habs and Senators and either Boston or Buffalo gets the boot, probably Boston.

The Bruins could easily slip into the Southeast with Washington, Carolina and the Florida teams. As a Leaf fan I don't like losing the Bruins, but we'd still play them four times a year.

Out west, Minnesota would take the Wings spot in the Central Division and Winnipeg would be grouped with Colorado and the other three Canadian teams.

Another thought could see the NHL switch from six five team divisions to five six team divisions. This would be great.

Division 1 -Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, Detroit, Buffalo, Boston.
Division 2 - Rangers, Islanders, Jersey, Philly, Pittsburgh, Columbus.
Division 3 - Washington, Carolina, Tampa, Florida, Nashville, Dallas.
Division 4 - Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Chicago, St. Louis
Division 5 - Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Jose, Colorado, Phoenix, Minnesota

If you can think of something better, leave it with us.

Category: Sports | Stuff

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Pissed Off Little General

May 21, 2011 @ 08:45

If I could spend time with anyone outside of my family this weekend, I'd choose Gary Bettman.

I'd love to be out of the public eye with the little general and see how he really feels about the Atlanta Thrashers moving to Winnipeg.

I bet he's like some bratty kid who didn't get his way.

Gary Bettman can bullshit all he wants about Canada and the Jets, but we all know that he has no interest in either. Of course he's OK with Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver, but you just know that if given his way, the Thrashers wouldn't be going to Winnipeg and he'd prefer Edmonton, Calgary and Ottawa were playing in places like Kansas City, Houston and Las Vegas.

It's been under Gary Bettman's watch that a workable league has turned into an economic disaster with teams like Atlanta, Columbus, Nashville, Carolina, the Islanders, Dallas and two Florida teams barely hanging on.

But for some reason, he trudges on, trying to force square pegs into round holes in some self indulgent quest to be the super master of a big time sports league.

You just know that behind closed doors Bettman is pissed right now. He's pissed that the Thrashers failed, but more than that, he's pissed a deal was struck to move them back to what he perceives as a Mickey Mouse market.

And I'm sure amongst the emotions that are flooding through the little general's body is embarrassment, embarrassment that the Thrashers are going to Winnipeg because absolutely no one else wants them.

Check that, somebody else does want them, but this scenario just adds to the goofy mismanagement of the NHL.

It would make a lot more sense for the Thrashers to move to Hamilton or provide Toronto with a second team. With a population base of five or six million it would be an instant smash hit with no worries of long term financial stability.

But given the Toronto Maple Leafs refusal to share territory and their extreme fear of finishing behind another GTA team in the standings, which would happen almost instantly, there's no way the NHL would do the sensible thing and move the team where the people are.

Instead we have this awkward scenario where there's a team that must leave Atlanta, that can't go to a rich market for political reasons and its going to end up in a place that truly wants them but a place that can provide no long term security if the economy or the dollar tanks.

Under the Gary Bettman theory of economics, he'd love someone in Atlanta to sign up to lose millions more, or have the city of Atlanta start writing big fat cheques like they're doing in Phoenix.

None of it makes fiscal sense, and it forces hockey teams to stay in places where people obviously don't care for hockey, but none of that seems to matter to the little general.

All that matters to him is image, his own image. And moving a team from Atlanta to Winnipeg just ain't cool.

Category: Sports

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Habs Watch - Four And Out

April 28, 2011 @ 08:38

A heart felt thanks to the Boston Bruins this morning for their series victory over the Montreal Canadiens - and they did it without one single power-play goal.

Hab fans have been put in their place. Silence is golden.

The Leafs would have done so much better.

Category: Sports

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Habs Watch - Three Down, One To Go

April 24, 2011 @ 10:25

What a great day. We decided to have our Easter dinner on Saturday, so we invited my best friend Doug, who just happens to be married to my wife's cousin. They brought their two kids with them, and combined with my in-laws it made twelve of us around the dinner table.

And there's wasn't one Hab fan in the bunch. On one hand that was encouraging because the world needs to be cleansed of Hab fans, but on the other hand it was almost anti-climactic because you like to jab them whenever you can.

Part of me wanted Freeway at the table.

We had a lovely turkey, an 18 pounder, my mother-in-law made some of her classic chicken curry and potato salad and we topped it off with a variety of deserts including some kind of a caramel crunch cake affair that my lovely got at Fortino's.

We ate, we drank, we laughed and we kept an ear to the television that hangs on the wall in my kitchen. (a nice touch during the playoffs)

It was during the second intermission that we retired to the basement to catch the third period on the big screen.

What a cool dynamic to have half a dozen fellas crowded around a television all wishing the worst for the Habs. Again, part of you wishes there was at least one Hab fan to put in a circle and push back and forth till they fall and scrape their knees, but it was neat to watch six real hockey fans sit on the edge of their seats and cheer against the midget team from Habfanistan.

Needless to say the mood in the room dropped when what's his name tied the game late in the third period, but it only made the moment greater when Nathan Horton scored the winner in double over-time to put the Habs down three games to two.

We jumped from our seats, we high fived and talked about next year when the Leafs will finish ahead of the Habs in the regular season and go farther in the playoffs.

It wasn't long after the Horton goal that the party broke up and we said our goodbye's at the front door, embracing, hugging and uttering the same departing words, the women and men alike.

"Thank you Bruins, and now that you have your heel on the throat of Le Habitant, press hard, very hard, until you hear a crack, and leave it there until the quivering stops and there is no sign of life."

It's amazing how we all said that at once.

Happy Easter everyone.

Category: Sports

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Time For The Heimlich

April 22, 2011 @ 08:54

I feel a little bit dirty this morning. After watching the Chicago Blackhawks embarrass the Vancouver Canucks again last night, I'm wavering in my support of Canada's team.

As you know, the Montreal Canadiens could play in Pakistan for all I care, so again this year I thought I'd adopt the Canucks as my team in the playoffs, doing the patriotic thing by supporting a Canadian team.

But I don't really like the Canucks. I like that they play in Canada, but individually there's not a lot about this team that I like.

When Brian Burke was making that failed attempt to sign the Sedins I wasn't a big fan of the idea. They're skilled players, but I've always wondered about the intangibles and I think we're getting the answer to that question in this latest series.

I think Roberto Luongo is over-rated, I can't stand Maxim Lapierre and Raffi Torres has turned into an asshole.

The Vancouver Canucks seem to be made up of a lot of hollow hockey players who wilt under pressure, meanwhile, conversely, there's a lot I like about the Hawks.

Once they disposed of the Canucks last year they became my team and it didn't hurt that they had more Canadians on their roster than any other team in the league. I haven't counted lately, but they've still got to be right up there.

The Hawks seem to have all the intangible qualities that the Canucks don't, and that's what wins championships.

Listen, I'd still like to see the Canucks win the Stanley Cup because this Canadian drought thing has gone on too long. But if they pull another colossal collapse this year, and fade away to nothing, to tell you the truth it won't bother me that much.

I'll become a Hawk fan again, and I wouldn't mind seeing Gabby Boudreau win a Cup, and of course, should the Habs advance, I'll cheer for whoever they're playing.

By the way, I won't accuse the Habs of choking, on the contrary, they're finding their proper level.

Category: Sports

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Habs Watch - Two Down, Two To Go

April 21, 2011 @ 21:55

Those tremors felt in Quebec just a few minutes ago weren't the result of an earthquake, they were caused by the delicious collapse of the Montreal Canadiens.

And by the way, that was not a great save by Carey Price in the third period. The puck was shot right into his glove.

Thank the good hockey lords that justice is prevailing and the pip squeak Habs are being put in their place.

Go get em' Bears!

Category: Sports

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Habs Watch - One Down, Three To Go

April 19, 2011 @ 07:35

See what happens when you don't shoot the puck directly into Carey Price's chest. You score goals.

Full marks to the Bruins for taking control in this game, and you just have to wonder what's gonna happen if they put 60 minutes together.

The Bruins are bigger and stronger and generally more talented. Winning last night's game was huge because it puts the Bears right back in the series as they ramp it up.

Prediction - whoever wins game four wins the series.

Go Bruins Go!

Category: Sports

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Comments We Like - GQ Magazine

April 17, 2011 @ 11:44

Hi Fred

Still love and check it daily.

(Personally I like the political stuff.)

Hope all is well.

Despite being a Montreal Canadiens fan, here is an article that might be nice for your blog:

Worst sports fans in America

It's an article in this months GQ magazine that details the 15 worst sports fans in America ...and who do you think comes in at number 11? They think Montreal is in the USA I guess. (Incidentally, Philadelphia fans are both 1 & 2 on the list).

While I have never burned a cop car or smashed a window in support of the Habs, as we know there are many who do & this is support for your consistent theme on

Anyway keep up the great work!

Edward Sylvester

Category: Sports

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Habs Watch - Cheaters

April 16, 2011 @ 22:21

Boston Mass - Boston Police are investigating the possibility that Bruins captain Cdeno Chara was covertly injected with a virus during game one of their playoff series with the Montreal Canadiens.

It's believed a member of the Canadiens may have secretly injected Chara during a skirmish in the third period of the opening game.

The virus although powerful is not life threatening, but it was delivered with a dose intended to keep Chara out of most of the series.

It is thought to originate in the peeler clubs of Habfanistan and is highly contagious to the point where most Hab fans are assumed to be carriers.

Symptons include verbosity, stupidity and an uncontrollabe urge to move to Toronto.

The Canadiens franchise has a long history of ruthless behaviour. From helping their players avoid the draft during World War II, which enabled them to ice stronger squads than the more patriotic teams, to securing player rights for all Quebec citizens in the 1960's, another unfair advantage over more sportsmanlike teams, notably the Toronto Maple Leafs.

A full investigation is underway but should it be proved that Chara is the victim of yet another Montreal Canadien scam, there is little that can be done at this point.

The scores of games one and two will stand, but it could be enough to inspire the Bruins to put the series on its rightful course with the vastly superior team prevailing.

This of course will involve a member of the Bruins, during the next goalmouth scramble, covertly removing the horseshoes firmly rammed up the ass of Carey Price.

Category: Sports

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