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Selfish Reason

April 17, 2009 @ 08:38

There's no doubt about it, I want the Bruins to beat the Habs in the first round of the playoffs mainly because I don't like Les Habiskanks, but there's there's another reason.

As I've pointed out on a few occasions I share part of my summer with Boston Bruins defensive coach Craig Ramsay. Believe it or not, Ramsay also has a tin palace and it's parked in the same park as mine. He frequently visits the Tiki Bar.

There are different levels of trailer parks you know, and I'm proud to say when it comes to trailer trash, Ramsay and I are in the upper end.

Anyway, here's the other reason why I want the Bruins to beat the Habs. I want the Bruins to beat the Habs because ultimately I want them to win the Stanley Cup.

You know what happens when a team wins the Stanley Cup - all members of the team including the coaching staff gets the the Stanley Cup for one day and they can take it where ever they they want.

Believe me, if the Bruins win the Cup there will be immense pressure on Ramsay by me and the other trailerites to bring it to our park.

Imagine that, the Stanley Cup in our trailer park. We'll be able to pose with it, drink from it, maybe even play a bocce ball game for it.

I would touch it, stroke it and kiss it...... and then I'd go back over the Stanley Cup.

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Habs Countdown - One Down Three To Go

April 17, 2009 @ 08:21

The amazing thing about last night's opening game of the Montreal / Boston series is how bad the Bruins played, and they still won.

Don Cherry hit the nail on the head after the game when he said "this was the game the Canadiens had to win. The Bruins will only get better."

Right on Don!

Three more Hab losses and we can say a long and delicious good-bye to this pretend team and their vile fans.

And then we can enjoy an off-season that will see the Habs crumble beneath huge salary cap issues. Shucks.

Go Bruins Go.

Bruins draw first blood with 4-2 win.

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Check This Out - Go Bruins Go

April 15, 2009 @ 13:35

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World Waste Of Time

April 13, 2009 @ 10:24

With all due respect to the combatants, is there anything more pointless than holding the Women's World Hockey Championship year after year?

And I'm not just saying this now because Canada lost to the United States in the final yesterday, I've made this point on several other occasions when Canada beat the States.

Therein lays the problem. It's always Canada against the United States and no matter how much they try to push this sport ahead, women's hockey at the international level just ain't cutting it.

This past week, very much unknown to the masses, women from seven other nations gathered in Finland so they could get slapped around by Canada and the United States.

It really is an exercise in futility. This was the 12th year of the Championships and absolutely nothing has changed. While Canada and the States take the sport and the event seriously, you get the impression everybody else throws a team together just to say they were there.

In the championship just completed Canada scored 31 goals and had only six scored against, and four of those goals against came against the United States in the final.

The States scored 28 goals and had only three scored against.

Before these tournaments even start everybody knows who's going to be in the final which severely affects interest and perpetuates the ridiculous image of women's hockey.

I understand that to advance the sport there has to be competition, but why invite the likes of Japan and China to an event that will only serve to humiliate and embarrass them?

Even countries like Finland and Sweden, who have strong men's programs, don't come anywhere close to competing with the North American countries. They too get their doors blown off.

So really, what's the point?

Until these other nations advance their sport to the level where a game is a game they should suspend these "official" tournaments and work on development.

And I hate to say it, but this should apply to the Olympics as well.

Meanwhile, Canada and the States should do their own version of a "Harlem Globetrotters Tour" and titillate the few hundred fans that care enough to show up.

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In "Your" Hole

April 12, 2009 @ 22:17

I really enjoyed watching the Masters with my father in law Sunday afternoon, but I have to say, I didn't enjoy listening to the Masters and it had nothing to do with the Jim Nantz.

I love Nantz, he's part of what makes the Masters the Masters. What I can't stand anymore is the imbecile fans who scream "in the hole" from ridiculous places on the golf course.

Sorry but its right out of hand and literally puts a knot in my stomach every time I hear it.

It's no big deal if a guy's making a putt from a reasonable distance, but these whack jobs who yell "in the hole" when somebody takes their second shot on a par five rank right down there with Hab fans who sing the "na na na" song.

It really is ridiculous and has got me to the point where I'd rather watch the coverage without sound.

I mean really, what are these people thinking? It's something that started a few years ago but rather than going away like it should have, it's actually gained steamed and become something that makes the sport look silly.

When Tiger made that shot out of the woods on the 17th that hit a tree, I swear I heard somebody scream "in the hole" when the club struck the ball.

In the hole?

More like in "your" hole..... with a rusty coat hanger.

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Habs Watch

April 11, 2009 @ 21:40

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Habs Watch

April 9, 2009 @ 23:30

Boston 5 Montreal 4 OT


Not long Frank. Why would I hesistate to respond to the likes of you and other mindless Hab fans.

I find it hilarious that your gutless team didn't qualify for the playoffs until the 81st game of the season, and they did it by losing in overtime.

Say what you want Frank, but you were just one of many tedious Hab fans in the early part of the season who was predicting eastern domination and a birth in the Stanley Cup finals.

It was "I" who predicted even before the season started that the Habs wouldn't make the playoffs. So I was wrong. So I blew it. But all things considered my prediction wasn't too shabby.

At least I have a much better assessment of hockey teams than you and other dilusional Hab fans have.

I almost like it this way because now that the playoffs are about to begin, we'll see the true colours of what is probably one of the most distastful Montreal teams I can remember.

I can't wait for Alexei Kovalev disappear starting in game one and then watch as the rest of this over-rated junk heap collapses around him.

"Les Canadiens Sont La.
Least we made the playoffs.
See ya next year tee dot."

Whatever ever Frankie boy, but to be honest I don't think you're going to like next year too much. Twelve over-rated free agents and 350 thousand dollars of cap space.

Coming soon - Habs Countdown - We'll count down every game till they're done. It'll make the playoffs worth watching - for four games anyway.

Boston 5 Montreal 4 OT

Shitty fuckin' Habs back into playoffs.

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Habs Watch

April 8, 2009 @ 07:43

OK, I admit it. I'm starting to get a little tired of this Habs Watch thing. I really can't wait for the regular season to end this weekend so we can move on.

Having said that, I imagine there are a lot of Hab fans a little concerned this morning.

The Habs, displaying their horrendous lack of depth lost another one last night. They were beaten 3-1 by the Rangers in New York. Of course Hab fans have latched onto the injury excuse, but when your fortunes are tied to a 39 year old journeyman defenseman that you just traded for, it sort of tell you where you're at.

Lucky for the Habs, the Florida Panthers are doing all they can to let the Habs stumble and fall into the playoffs.

The Panthers, with a great opportunity to make a move on Montreal last night, lost 2-1 in Philadelphia, so the numbers game moved in the Habs favour.

They remain three points ahead of the Panthers with both clubs having two games remaining. In order for the Les Miserables to fall out of the playoffs they have to lose both their games while the Panthers have to win both.

Possible, but not even this whack job thinks it's probable.

Don't' get me wrong, I have full confidence that the Habs will lose their remaining two games to Boston and Pittsburgh; I'm just not sure the Panthers can beat both Atlanta and Washington.

So, as distasteful as it is, and as disappointing as it is for me, we might have to get our heads around the idea of having this junk pile make the playoffs.

But before all you Hab Humpers start e-mailing me, criticizing my prediction that the Habs wouldn't make the playoffs, use your big block heads. There are only two games left in the 82 game schedule and my prediction could still come true.

Not too shabby.

Meanwhile, how about those Leafers? They beat the Jersey Devils 4-1, enhancing the obvious. They're a better team than the Habs right now.

Next year will be even better!

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Habs Watch

April 7, 2009 @ 08:48

I'm sure Hab fans will want to use injuries as an excuse, but there's no getting around it, the Habs shit the bed in Ottawa last night blowing a third period lead and losing 3-2.

This sets up a delicious "what if" scenario.

The ninth place Florida Panthers trail Les Habitaints by three points this morning with both clubs having three games remaining.

However, look at the schedules.

The Habs play in New York against the Rangers tonight and they play in Boston Thursday night before wrapping up the regular season against Pittsburgh at home Saturday night. That's a tough schedule.

Meanwhile, the Panthers play in Philadelphia tonight, in Atlanta Thursday night, and then they're home to Washington on Saturday night.

Here's the "what if"

What if the Habs lose all three of their remaining games and the Panthers win two of their final three?

I'll tell ya "what if". The Habs would miss the playoffs.

But don't worry Hab fans, it wouldn't be completely horrible because you can always use the injuries to Mathew Schneider and Andrei Markov as an excuse. (That's what happens when you run into the mighty Maple Leafs)

Meanwhile, as a Leaf fan I have the ability to show some class and allow that if the Habs win just one of their remaining games and the Panthers lose one, Les Agravate with clinch a playoff spot.

Hab fans will rejoice and spew their sweet nothings but talk about a comedown from early season predictions of winning their division, their conference, the Stanley Cup and the war on terror.

Don't forget, should the Habs slither into the post-season watch for "Habs Countdown" on this website next week.

We'll count down every Habs loss until they're eliminated from the playoffs.

Sens rally to shock Habs.

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Live Bloggin The Game

April 4, 2009 @ 20:20

I decided to live blog the hockey game tonight and I'm glad I did because right off the bat I have to say how pissed off I am.

The game starts with the Hockey Night in Canada crew going "ga ga" over the Habs because they've won a couple of games recently. It was sickening.

This weasel team with their weasel players led by Alex Kovalev are a Sacku shit and it was proved in the opening few minutes when Kovalev high sticked Ian White to the face and got away with it.

How the hell can there be two referees on the ice and they miss it.

Then it got worse. Mat Stajan gets called for a penalty that was no where near a penalty. His skates got caught up in the feet of one of the weasel brigade and one of the dumb ass referees calls it tripping.

And wouldn't you know it, that peckerhead Kovalev ends up scoring. Man I hate the Habs.

It just got a bit worse. While Craig Simpson and Jim Hughson were blowing loads over the Habs so called new look of confidence and puck control some pussy with the last name Wearadress made it 2-0 Habiskanks.

Hughson and Simpson are something else. They're salivating over a team that dropped like a rock during the second half of the season because they're made up of gutless softies who hate the tough going.

If the Habs slither into the playoffs they'll get crushed.

This Craig Simpson is something else. What game is he watching? George Larockhead had just thrown a punch while body checking the Leafs Mikhail Grabovski and Simpson calls it a good hit. What a freaking joke.

And speaking of jokes, how about Larockhead, a walking, talking pylon. As long as he's good enough to play for the Habs, believe me they ain't good enough to win anything.

First period over and I feel like throwing a rock through the goddman TV. Simpson and Hughson are pissing me off, but not nearly to the extent Les Habicrap is pissing me off. Talk about having the referees tucked into your back pocket while you're trying to salvage a season you've all but thrown away.

I hope Don Cherry puts me back into a good mood.

No such luck. Cherry opens with an archived prediction he made on March 21st that the creepy Habs would make the playoffs. Big deal.

Then Cherry really scrapes the bucket by showing a picture of Queen Elizabeth and Michelle Obama. Cherry blurts "we all love the Queen."

No we don't. At least I dont. I can't the monarchy and I especially can't stand this woman who probably played a role in the murder of her daughter in law. Not only that, the old boot is so goddman selfish she won't give her son a shot at the throne.

I'll tell ya right now, if that was my mother, long ago she would have let me take over. Because she loves me.

And while we're on the subject, what's with all this bullshit about not touching or putting your arm around the old bag. Who the hell does she think she is, the Queen of freakin' England?

Things are looking up a bit. I just opened a case of Bud Lite and was pleasantly surprised with their "Vintage NHL T-shirt" promotion. I got a Leaf T-shirt. No kidding.

I was so afraid I'd get a Hab shirt, but then again it turns out that would have been alright because my wife just told me we're out of toilet paper.

Another solid moment. (the game, not my stool) That weirdo guy on the Habs named Wearadress just missed on a penalty shot. Martin Gerber completely outguessed the prick and Gerber is having a horrible night.

Not so good at the moment. Saku suckboy just fed a pass to Alex Tonguejob and he deflected the puck past Gerber.

Let's not forget, the Leafs are using a schoolboy in tonights game as they prepare for next year when they get to use nine million in cap space and a raft of draft choices.

And don't forget, the Habs, who have been reduced to a one line team, will have 12 free-agents and virtually no cap space.

I wonder how far the Habs think they're gonna get in the playoffs with only one line? Of course that's if they make the playoffs. It's still not certain because this jelly fish brigade could fall apart again at any moment.

It would have been nice if the Leafs had used a goaltender tonight. Chris Higgins, who probably couldn't make the Brampton Battalion just beat Gerber with an easy shot from the slot.

The Leafs played in Philadelphia last night, against a real team, and it's starting to show.

What is with this love in between Hughson and Simpson and the Habs? It's bordering on disgusting at this point. I get the feeling that both have their pants around their ankles in the gondola, strumming thier banjos as they think up new ways to compliment the over-rated Les Habiwanks.

Let's see how stiff they get in a couple of weeks when the Habs are wiped out in four games by one of the legitimate teams in the east. Of course that's providing the Habs make the playoffs.

I just had a thought while watching the Hot Stove which features the extremely repulsive Al Strachan, who's the type of guy who makes you feel like you need a shower after you've listened to him for a while. I thought how good he'd look in a Habs sweater. Yea, you wouldn't want Strachan to date your grandmother, but he'd make the perfect Les Habiturd. He'd fit right in with the rest of that crew.

I notice I just got an e-mail from Freeway Frank. He says Habs Watch is officially over.
Big words from a guy who was extremely quiet just couple of weeks ago when the Leafs had his pathetic mafia connected team down 4-0.

Oh Oh Frank. Johnny Mitchell just broke the ice for the Leafs, could your boys be collapsing on national TV? It wouldn't be the first time.

They just showed a graphic pointing out that the Leafs lead the NHL with 350 rookie man games this season. And to think the Leafs have lost only six more games than the Habs in regulation time this season. How do you explain that Hab Humpers?

Geez. I wonder who's got the better future?

Holy cow. It just keeps happening. Just when you think you've taken inventory on all the rodents that make up the Montreal Canadiens, another one pops out of the hole.

Something named Maxim Lapierre just scored on a Les Habaskunk power play thanks to another terrible call by the referees. Jason Blake was going for the puck but was called for tripping or some other make believe call.

I assume a lot of Hab fans are pretty happy at this point, but it will always come back to this. Your entire team looks and acts like it was fathered by Al Strachan. How can you live with yourselves?

Wooo fuckin' hoo. Josh Gorges just scored another power-play goal for the Habs. I guess Freeway is bouncing off the walls in Calgary. It will mean a lot to him if the Habs hold on to win this game. After all, it will even the season series with the Leafs.

Actually, part of me likes this phony resurgence by the Habs, especially against the Leafs who have loaded their team up with kids down the stretch. It will give the Les Habiscats a false sense of security before walking into the real world in a couple of weeks.

Of course that's providing they don't fall apart between now and then.

Way to go Boyd Devereau, nice shorthanded goal after the goddman referees came up with another mindless call.

Mikhail Grabovski delivered a clean check on some dumbass Hab who almost started to cry after he banged his Habby head on the glass. It must be nice to have the referees on your side when you're desperate to make the playoffs. Especially against a team that's loaded down with rookies and is actually playing a schoolboy tonight.

It wasn't surprising to hear Hab fans sing that putrid "na na na" song at the ACC as time wound down. But that's what Hab fans do. When things are going well they're loud and mouthy, but when things are going badly, they run and dive into the closest hole.

Thank goodness MLSE has lots of money so they can bring in a fire hose, hook it up to a big vat of Lysol and hose down all the seats occupied by Hab fans tonight, especially the seat occupied by that big fat bastard we saw at the end wearing the Habs jersey.

He was pounding his chest like he actually had something to do with what happened on the ice. Typical.

Make sure you visit this website once the playoffs start. If the Habs don't fall apart over the next week or so, which could still easily happen, you'll be able to follow "Habs Countdown"

We'll count down every Habs loss until they're eliminated. It will preceed the dismantling of this shit stain in the offseason.

Call it bad management.

Have I told ya how much I hate the Habs?

FP out! (did I just say that?)

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