Freddie P's Blog

Neighbour John took his family on their annual summer trip again this year, but they ran into Irene.

Oh yea, Neighbour John rented a beautiful house in Duck, North Carolina which just happened to line up with the eye of Irene.

Even though Johnny boy was supposed to have the house till Friday, he and his wonderful family were forced out on Thursday afternoon. They got robbed of a day.

But John made the most of it. He had the barbeque going, the beers a flowin' and the surf a shakin' until the bitter end.

Category: Neighbour John

Hey Fred,
What would Psychic Nikki say about this, the picture was taken last night (March 13, 2011) at about 10.00 pm, we lost the game and were the only ones on the ice.
My son Jake took two pictures (second picture just in case!) and there was nobody else taking a picture at the same time, crowd had left.
Orbs are believed (by many) to be ghosts in the form of balls of light. They are life forms that travel in groups and are believed to be the human soul or life force of those that once inhabited a physical body here on earth
Do you Believe?
Ghoststudy.com
Neighbour John

Category: Neighbour John

If you think I don't like the Montreal Canadiens, how about Neighbour John. Get a load of this.

John has three fine boys and they all play in the Brampton Youth Hockey Association. The BYHA does what a lot of house leagues do, they name their teams after NHL squads.

The Leafs, the Kings, the Sabres and so on. They also have the Canadiens.

John's boys are all well into their teens and up until this year, all three have avoided being assigned to a Canadiens team, and that's a good thing. John always got the creeps whenever he thought of one of his boys having to pull on a Canadiens jersey for an entire season.

Things changed last week, and they changed dramatically. John's middle son Jake found out that he's on the Canadiens this year, and he literally plunged the family into a hockey depression. John tried to take it all in stride and not over think it, but he failed on both counts.

Jake was also upset. Like any decent young man who grew up in a Toronto Maple Leaf house, he didn't want to play for the Canadiens. As a matter of fact, when he showed up for his first game, he tried to wear the sweater inside out.

That was unacceptable of course, so John decided to go into the ultimate anti-Hab mode. He went to the league and asked for Jake to be assigned to another team. No such luck, Jake has a big time rating as a player, so there was no way the Canadiens were going to let him go.

John was told there are only two ways a kid can switch teams. Either through balancing the teams after three games, or if a parent coaches another team and the convenience factor is considered. It makes sense to have your kid on your team, that way you don't have to come to the rink twice.

There was no way Jake was leaving the Canadiens through balancing, he would be one of their keepers, no doubt about it, so John moved on the second option.

He beat the bushes and found out that the Kings needed an assistant coach. He approached the head coach and the deal was quickly done. John, despite his busy schedule and having to truck two other boys to hockey rinks decided to sign on as assistant coach.

Jake is no longer a Canadien. He has escaped the Habs. He is now a King.

Don't you just love it!

Category: Neighbour John

Hey asshole
48 hours has come and gone. You going to be be a jerk like you have all summer? If your not going to post anything then get rid of the site.
Troy

I haven't blogged for most of the summer because I simply couldn't find the time. I know what you're thinking, that's a pile of horseshit. What's the big deal sitting your ass down for a few minutes every day and peckin' away at a key board.

You wouldn't think it was a big deal, but when you're kid's getting married, you're trying to take advantage of your tin palace, your house is being renovated and you have a job, it's amazing how quickly a day slips by.

I couldn't never really find the time to muster the necessary concentration that's required to maintain a blog of this quality. You know what I'm sayin?

Not only that, but on those lovely summer nights that I managed to make my way to the tin palace, I didn't have internet access.

And that leads me to an explanation of why I didn't blog about the "trailer" at all this summer.

You see, when I was there, nobody else was. Most weekends me and my sweet were tied to the city for pre-wedding festivities, or we were home stressing over how long it was taking to have the house re-vamped.

Other years, the trailer postings came from the mixture of weekends, friends and booze.

Something always seemed to happen that became worthy of a blog posting. This year there were only two such weekends, but it just so happened that my schedule didn't allow me to blog about them.

So I will now. On the August long weekend the wonderful people who populate the trailer park held an amazing Jack and Jill shower for my precious daughter Melanie and her respectful chosen mate Josh.

It was freakin' crazy.

The whole park got together and created a progressive party with an international theme.

At about four o'clock, our good friend Gus O'Brien arrived at our dock with his pontoon boat decorated in a love boat them. He even had The Love Boat playing on his stereo.

He picked up the love birds along with my wife and me, and my fine son Daniel and his sweet girlfriend Shawna.

Believe me, it's not a case of boring you with the details, I'm not going to give many details because it wouldn't do the event justice. You had to be there. But here's a capsulation.

Our first stop was Italy where our good friends the Kimbers and Groves had decorated their sites like you were somewhere near lake Como in northern Italy. Food, wine and liqueurs.

From there we went to Greece, where our friends Nick and Karen were frying saganaki cheese and serving it with Pita. It was so good it was nuts.

From there it was back on The Love Boat where we visited Brian and Karen Collins site. We like to call it Collin's Cosy Cove.

As we arrived they had a put a sign on their floating raft that said Cozumel. So you know what I'm about to tell ya. The theme was Mexico. We arrived at the dock and were treated to tacos, tequila and treats.

Right next to Collins was Jamaica where our good friends Dan and Jackie, and Darren and Laurie provided Red Stripe Beer and Jamaican patties. Mmm Mmm good.

Back on the "Love Boat" .... Destination Hawaii.

Special friends and neighbours Gerry and Jen, and Dan and Tracey capped off the night with fruit skewers and rum punch. It was great.

The night ended with a super bash at my Tiki Bar. We nearly knocked the dock off its footings with a wild dance and liquorfest. Even my darlin' Delyse was bangin' back the shooters.

Note to those weasels who like to lurk around this website and accuse me of being a trailer trash drunk - I didn't do much to defend myself with this story did I?

The other notable weekend at the trailer this year was for the annual Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce tournament. It was held the weekend of September 11th.

Not much to say here. Fifty participants and I made the semi-finals only to lose to my arch rival Mike Kimber. I launched an impressive comeback to make it close, but in the end, he beat me by three points, 21-18.

Mike went on to lose in the final to upstart, newcomer Jake (forget his last name) but it was another great day in paradise. We had a pot-luck, but very little booze. We were all too tired.

Now, the big event! September 4th was a magical and very emotional day.

If you're a dad whose hasn't had a daughter get married yet, hold onto to your heart because it's something that you really can't put into words.

All the preparations take your mind off the annual event until it's right upon you, and then you wake up the morning of the big day and you turn into a whack job.

Our day was compounded by a weird weather day. We wanted an outdoor ceremony but it didn't look like it was going to happen thanks to the wind, the rain and the cold.

It gets a little stressful looking out the window every five minutes and then having to decide whether to dump the outdoor stuff and hold the ceremony in the reception hall.

We ain't church people.

But wouldn't you know it. As four o'clock approach there was promise in the skies. At three o'clock when Melanie walked down the stairs and I saw her in her wedding dress for the first time, I didn't give a shit if a hurricane hit. It's a sight I'll never forget and admittedly, I lost it a bit. Actually, a lot.

We hopped into the limo and as we approached the venue it stopped raining. As we got out of the limo, the wind died. As Melanie and her bridesmaids adjusted themselves inside the hall, the sun broke through, and when it was time for me to walk Mel through the park, it became a beautiful summers day. It was unbelievable.

Junie says it was Big Dick looking down on his beloved Mel. Usually I don't believe such stuff, but on this day, I bought right into it.

It was a beautiful ceremony and the reception came off without a hitch. The food was good, the spirits were flowing and the dance was great, not to mention the speeches.

I'm very proud of my little girl.... And my son for that matter... they have both grown to be fantastic adults and both haven chose exceptional mates.

Next up, the house renovations.

We should have known, we should have known that the renovations would take a lot longer than the contractors said they would.

Actually, the kitchen guys were great. They were pretty much on time. It was the flooring guy that screwed up our schedule. When he gave us his original quote he said he'd be in and out of the house inside two weeks. It turned out to be seven.

It was the typical scenario. He got the job, quickly moved in and ripped out the old flooring to make sure I couldn't change my mind and then he went into stroker mode.

Don't get me wrong, in the end he did a fabulous job, better than we expected, but holy lord liftin' bejesus Christ, it dragged on and on and on. It was insane.

He held us up so long the painters didn't end up leaving the house until two days before the wedding - out of the gate we thought we'd have at least two weeks. And I'm serious when I say insane.

Before the reno started several people said to me how stressful it can be. I laughed it off thinking how stressful can it be. I don't have to do it. Stress? Over what?

Ha. Believe me, when strange fellas are in your house day after day after day for close to two months, it gets stressful. Especially when your stove is in the living room and your fridge is in the foyer. The laundry was a make-shift kitchen for way too long and I got bloody sick of micro-waved food.

However, in the end, it got done. Not on time, but right on budget and the finished product is very nice.

Other stuff.

I'm going to give you a quick state of the union statement because over the next few days I'm going to get back into the bloggin' big time.

Municipal - All eyes are on Toronto where Rob Ford is stretching his lead in the polls by being a punching bag. The more the other assholes takes shots at him, the more the electorate loves him. It's beautiful.

Provincial - A skunk never loses his stripes. The HST fiasco is so typical of Dalton McLiar. He rejects everything the federal government does, but when it comes to sucking off the HST tit, all of a sudden Dalton loves Stephen. You might want to blame Harper for the HST, but remember, in the end it was Dalton's decision. He bought into a Conservative idea. Prick.

Federal - Stephen Harper continues to steer the country in a level headed, productive and rational manner. Meanwhile, Michael Ignatieff continues his hopeless and awkward quest for power. Dick weed.

Sports - Yes, the Toronto Maple Leafs will finish ahead of the Montreal Canadiens this season and the reasoning is simple. They have more talent.

That's about it kiddies, and to address some of the e-mails I received, let me say this.
No, I am not ill but thanks for asking. I had a thyroid biopsy earlier this summer, but that's precautionary. I'm clean.

I already told you about my colonoscopy, so I don't have to belabor that. I had the snake forced up my ass but it wasn't nearly as bad as some people said it would be.

And on the subject of snakes, I really have to tell you how disappointed I was with some of the ridiculous notes I received from some people regarding my lack of blogging. Downright nasty and cruel.

But I shouldn't be surprised, because I'm assume they come the usual suspects There are a lot of frustrated dick heads out there that love to fling shit at people for no real reason. They like to take a shot, and then, of course, not put their name to it.

To those I say. Bite my clank and call me Larz.

That's about it folks. You're up to date.

I don't like to make out like my welfare is any more important than anyone else's.. but hey, you asked.

Come back and visit often because I promise the posting will pick up.

And by the way, Neighbour John won the hamburger contest. Hands down. And he thanks you for your support.

Category: Family | Friends | Neighbour John | Stuff | The Trailer

You may have noticed over the years that Neighbour John likes to eat and drink and he likes contests too.

You might remember a couple of years back he won a jacket at a bar in the States for trying every beer on their 100 beer menu.

Now he's involved in some kind of an eating costest with Crabby Joe's in Bolton, which is close to his machine shop. He ate a big burger and now he needs a bunch of votes to win a lunch for four and a barbeque.

It's called the Outlaw Challenge.

It's the least the reader of Canadian Thinker can do for Johnny Boy, think of all the entertainment he's given us over the past few years.

Here's what you do. Go to this e-mail address, challenge@crabbyjoes.com and on the subject line write "vote". In the body use this code - BL013.

That's all there is too it.

If you want to see more go here.

Category: Neighbour John

I had a very interesting talk with Neighbour John last night. If you follow this blog you know that I often write about the exploits of Neighbour and his fine family.

Every year during March break, John takes his sons on what I have labeled incredible journeys. You can read about them by searching, Incredible Journey at the top right hand corner.

John and the boys visit NHL arenas and at every stop along the way they pick up souvenirs.

In 2007 they went to Montreal, New Jersey and Philadelphia. Three games in four nights.

But here's the delicious part of the story. At every rink they visit John buys the boys a souvenir hat, and believe me, they have quite the collection.

But what they don't have is a Canadiens hat. When John took the boys to the Bell Centre and offered to buy them caps, they declined.

This is a wonderful story because it goes back to something I wrote about last week.

I was brought up to despise the Habs and I've instilled the same emotion in my son Daniel, and it seems John has done the same for his boys.

As tempting as it was the boys to pick up another hat for the collection, they could not bring themselves to put a Habs cap atop their brainwashed heads. They told their dad to save his money.

We can only hope they hold on to this impressive attribute throughout their lives.

It's quite emotional!

Category: Neighbour John | Sports

Hey Freddie

Thanks, Bill Dewar

Category: Neighbour John

For the past few years I've been writing about Neighbour John's March break exploits with his three boys. They like to tour NHL cities.

In 2007 they went to Montreal, New Jersey and Philadelphia. In 2008 they went to Detroit and Chicago, and then last year they went to Atlanta and Tampa.

This year it's an abbreviated tour. This afternoon they were in Long Island to see the Leafs and Islanders, and tomorrow night they'll catch the Bruins and Devils at the new rink in downtown Newark.

They wanted to catch a game in Johnstown, Pennsylvania to catch the legendary Chiefs, but the ECHL schedule wouldn't co-operate.

Instead, John and the boys will spend the day at Coney Island tomorrow so Neighbour John can have something he's always coveted... a legendary Coney Island hot dog.

Meanwhile, here's something that will steam Neighbour John. He absolutely despises Wayne Gretzky, and absolutely adores Bobby Orr.

Category: Neighbour John

Over the past couple of years I've written about how I've lost my appetite for New Year's Eve and all the bullshit involved.

I like to lay low on the last night of the year. Have a nice dinner at home, a couple of beers, watch a World Junior hockey game then jump into the sack with my sweet and watch the New Year come in if we stay awake that long.

Last night we didn't.

Thanks to Neighbour John another dimension has been added to our New Years Eve.

John has strong ties to his birthplace Scotland and every year at 19 hundred hours, Eastern Standard Time, he and his family gather around John's bar to ring in the Scottish New Year.

Other than John walking around in a kilt, it's warm, it's pleasant and it's convenient because it allows you to experience some festivities without having to stay up till midnight.

This year was bitter-sweet for Neighbour John's family. They got word early yesterday that their Uncle Martin had passed away in Edinburgh. He was 81 years old, and apparently a very nice man.

Here's to you Uncle Martin!

Category: Neighbour John

John with his nifty new tailgate barbeque at the Bills game on Sunday.

Category: Neighbour John