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After The Awakening

December 25, 2006 @ 10:52

Quote of Christmas 2006 goes to my daughter Melanie.

After opening a new bra from Le Senza she said…"I can't believe Santa knows my tit size!"

Category: Family

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Attack Of The Stairs

December 20, 2006 @ 11:57

I'm looking forward to having both my kids home for Christmas. Melanie will head back to the boonies from her "groovy" pad in the city, while Danny is home from school, but we hardly see him because he re-unites with his vast amount of friends.

Things will be a little different this year. My mom and dad, Junie and Dickie, usually come to my house on Christmas Eve and stay over. They get up with the kids in the morning and have breakfast before we spread out for Christmas dinner
They've only missed one or two Christmas's since the kids were born, but it appears the tradition is over. All because of stairs.

My house has a lot of stairs and the old buggers don't think they can handle going up and down this year. So they'll stay at their new place in Mississauga and we'll go there for a visit.

On Christmas day I'll pick them up and we'll all head out to Cambridge to my in-laws where we'll dive into the usual smorgasbord of worldly delights.

My mother-in-law Joan makes the best curry on earth. It's a blend of curries that comes from South Africa. It's crazy. A nice chicken curry with a side of her potato salad to cool things off is Freddie P's meal of choice.

True man true.

Category: Family

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I Can't Shop For Delyse

December 15, 2006 @ 13:12

This is a significant year in my relationship with my wife. This is the year I'm actually "not" going to buy her anything for Christmas.

I just can't shop for my darlin'. No matter what I buy her, she takes it back.

It went on for years. I"d buy her something and she'd break it to me gently that it just wasn't right. At the same time, she'd complain that I didn't pay enough attention to the things she liked. Whatever.

Over the past couple of years we started taking the easy route. She'd buy her "mainer" gifts from me, and I'd wrap them and hold them till Christmas day, but I'd always buy some other stuff so she'd be surprised on the big morning.

But even that started to backfire. I just didn't choose the right stuff. So this year, I'm not going to bother at all.

Apparently I've been very generous this year. I've bought her a leather jacket and a pair of boots that are exactly what she wants.

And you know what? That's all she's gonna get............ unless of course I see something I know she'll really really like.

Category: Family

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Those Were The Days

November 1, 2006 @ 17:50

Halloween was rather quiet on our street last night, another indication of the passage of time. There doesn't seem to be a lot of movement in my neighbourhood so I guess a lot of the kids have simply grown up.

I always have a heavy heart on Halloween. It's something I used to enjoy when my kids were young.

I'd decorate the house and I had this ritual of putting on baggy clothes and a hockey mask and flopping on the park bench in front of the house.

Kids thought it was a scarecrow until they got up real close and I lunged towards them. Believe me I caused soilage in more than one pair of underwear.

Last night was sad - hardly any kids came to the door and all it did was remind me that time has moved too quickly. And if that wasn't bad enough as I was placing the pumpkin yesterday my neighbour's friend went out of his way to tell me how old Billie looks.

Billie's my dog. She's 11.

Category: Family

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Mel and Me

September 18, 2006 @ 17:17

I received the ultimate compliment this weekend. My wife had to go out of town on business but that didn't stop me from heading north.

But I didn't go alone. On Thursday my darlin' daughter Melanie called me and said she wouldn't mind headin' up with me.

So Friday afternoon I picked her up from work and we headed for the tin palace.

When we arrived, I was quite taken aback by the reaction. Several of our friends were quite impressed that Mel and I "could" spend the weekend together. That a 50 year old man and his 24 year old daughter had the type of relationship that would allow them to co-exist for an entire weekend. That it wasn't awkward.

I really got the impression that this was unique situation. Most young women wouldn't spend a weekend away with "only" their dad. It blew me away because up until that point I didn't give it a second thought. I was going up north, and Mel wanted to go. So I picked her up and we went.

She's my kid and I like having her around, and apparently she doesn't mind being around me. We're both a couple of nut balls and we laugh at the same stuff. Not only that, but she moved out a couple of months ago and I miss the little fart.

I take our relationship for granted but apparently it's not the norm. Go figure.

Category: Family

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She's Leaving Home

July 11, 2006 @ 11:21

This posting might be of interest to all the old CFNY listeners who frequent this site. Those who often ask about my kids. Those who remember me having my daughter Melanie on the air at various times throughout her life.

Last night I went downtown with Mel while she signed a lease for her own apartment. Actually, she'll be sharing it with a friend. It's the top two floors of a renovated house just west of the beaches, and to say Mel is excited, would be an understatement. She's over the top.

I wish the same could be said for me. I'm actually quite sad. As I looked at her glowing face signing that document last night, like any father, I wondered where the years went.
How could the period of time between September of 1982, and July of 2006 pass by so quickly? Why do kids have to grow up, and who says they have to move out of the house in their 20's?

But as Delyse keeps telling me, Melanie is ready for this move and it's just the latest event in a young "eventful" life. Mel wants it and she's earned it.

Like her brother, she's never given us any trouble. She went to school, she went to college and now she's a career woman with a solid future. The next step was inevitable, she wants her own space.

But again, that doesn't make it any easier for me. I can't get my head around the fact that as of August lst, she won't live us anymore.

After August lst, when she comes home.. to this home.. it will be called a visit. And I certainly don't like the sound of that.

She's our darlin'.

Category: Family



June 16, 2006 @ 11:08

News Item

CHICAGO -- Groups opposed to circumcision are watching the case of an 8-year-old suburban Chicago boy whose divorced parents are fighting in court over whether he should have the procedure.
The child's mother wants him circumcised to prevent recurring, painful inflammation she says he has experienced during the past year.
But the father says the boy is healthy and circumcision, which removes the foreskin of the penis, is an unnecessary medical procedure that could cause him long-term physical and psychological harm.

The circumcision argument has always fascinated me. Such a pile of shit. And we learned the hard way.

Back in 1985 when my son was born I got sucked into the "no circumcision" world. I listened to all that nonsense about butchering and psychological damage and circumcision being unnatural. What a mistake.

When my son was five years old, we had to give in and have him done. And that my friends, was not easy. Talk about psychological harm.

I was kicking myself for being so stupid. When Danny was born something inside told me to have it done, but I gave in to all the arsholes who had all these hysterical stories against it.

If I had it to do all over again circumcision would not be a question. It would be done at birth.

And give me a break with all the psychological shit. I was born in the 50's, and back then just about everybody was circumcised - and I've yet to have a conversation with anyone who can remember being done, let along suffering psychological damage.

I'd say you're more inclined to have psychological damage from having a bunch of useless skin hanging off the end of your man machine.

Not only that, ask any woman what looks more attractive. A nice glistening pecker head, or an angry looking armadillo. No contest.

Category: Family

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Clouds - By Melanie Patterson

September 24, 1982 @ 00:00

Category: Family

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