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OK, Here's The Deal

September 21, 2010 @ 18:05

Hey asshole
48 hours has come and gone. You going to be be a jerk like you have all summer? If your not going to post anything then get rid of the site.
Troy

I haven't blogged for most of the summer because I simply couldn't find the time. I know what you're thinking, that's a pile of horseshit. What's the big deal sitting your ass down for a few minutes every day and peckin' away at a key board.

You wouldn't think it was a big deal, but when you're kid's getting married, you're trying to take advantage of your tin palace, your house is being renovated and you have a job, it's amazing how quickly a day slips by.

I couldn't never really find the time to muster the necessary concentration that's required to maintain a blog of this quality. You know what I'm sayin?

Not only that, but on those lovely summer nights that I managed to make my way to the tin palace, I didn't have internet access.

And that leads me to an explanation of why I didn't blog about the "trailer" at all this summer.

You see, when I was there, nobody else was. Most weekends me and my sweet were tied to the city for pre-wedding festivities, or we were home stressing over how long it was taking to have the house re-vamped.

Other years, the trailer postings came from the mixture of weekends, friends and booze.

Something always seemed to happen that became worthy of a blog posting. This year there were only two such weekends, but it just so happened that my schedule didn't allow me to blog about them.

So I will now. On the August long weekend the wonderful people who populate the trailer park held an amazing Jack and Jill shower for my precious daughter Melanie and her respectful chosen mate Josh.

It was freakin' crazy.

The whole park got together and created a progressive party with an international theme.

At about four o'clock, our good friend Gus O'Brien arrived at our dock with his pontoon boat decorated in a love boat them. He even had The Love Boat playing on his stereo.

He picked up the love birds along with my wife and me, and my fine son Daniel and his sweet girlfriend Shawna.

Believe me, it's not a case of boring you with the details, I'm not going to give many details because it wouldn't do the event justice. You had to be there. But here's a capsulation.

Our first stop was Italy where our good friends the Kimbers and Groves had decorated their sites like you were somewhere near lake Como in northern Italy. Food, wine and liqueurs.

From there we went to Greece, where our friends Nick and Karen were frying saganaki cheese and serving it with Pita. It was so good it was nuts.

From there it was back on The Love Boat where we visited Brian and Karen Collins site. We like to call it Collin's Cosy Cove.

As we arrived they had a put a sign on their floating raft that said Cozumel. So you know what I'm about to tell ya. The theme was Mexico. We arrived at the dock and were treated to tacos, tequila and treats.

Right next to Collins was Jamaica where our good friends Dan and Jackie, and Darren and Laurie provided Red Stripe Beer and Jamaican patties. Mmm Mmm good.

Back on the "Love Boat" .... Destination Hawaii.

Special friends and neighbours Gerry and Jen, and Dan and Tracey capped off the night with fruit skewers and rum punch. It was great.

The night ended with a super bash at my Tiki Bar. We nearly knocked the dock off its footings with a wild dance and liquorfest. Even my darlin' Delyse was bangin' back the shooters.

Note to those weasels who like to lurk around this website and accuse me of being a trailer trash drunk - I didn't do much to defend myself with this story did I?

The other notable weekend at the trailer this year was for the annual Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce tournament. It was held the weekend of September 11th.

Not much to say here. Fifty participants and I made the semi-finals only to lose to my arch rival Mike Kimber. I launched an impressive comeback to make it close, but in the end, he beat me by three points, 21-18.

Mike went on to lose in the final to upstart, newcomer Jake (forget his last name) but it was another great day in paradise. We had a pot-luck, but very little booze. We were all too tired.

Now, the big event! September 4th was a magical and very emotional day.

If you're a dad whose hasn't had a daughter get married yet, hold onto to your heart because it's something that you really can't put into words.

All the preparations take your mind off the annual event until it's right upon you, and then you wake up the morning of the big day and you turn into a whack job.

Our day was compounded by a weird weather day. We wanted an outdoor ceremony but it didn't look like it was going to happen thanks to the wind, the rain and the cold.

It gets a little stressful looking out the window every five minutes and then having to decide whether to dump the outdoor stuff and hold the ceremony in the reception hall.

We ain't church people.

But wouldn't you know it. As four o'clock approach there was promise in the skies. At three o'clock when Melanie walked down the stairs and I saw her in her wedding dress for the first time, I didn't give a shit if a hurricane hit. It's a sight I'll never forget and admittedly, I lost it a bit. Actually, a lot.

We hopped into the limo and as we approached the venue it stopped raining. As we got out of the limo, the wind died. As Melanie and her bridesmaids adjusted themselves inside the hall, the sun broke through, and when it was time for me to walk Mel through the park, it became a beautiful summers day. It was unbelievable.

Junie says it was Big Dick looking down on his beloved Mel. Usually I don't believe such stuff, but on this day, I bought right into it.

It was a beautiful ceremony and the reception came off without a hitch. The food was good, the spirits were flowing and the dance was great, not to mention the speeches.

I'm very proud of my little girl.... And my son for that matter... they have both grown to be fantastic adults and both haven chose exceptional mates.

Next up, the house renovations.

We should have known, we should have known that the renovations would take a lot longer than the contractors said they would.

Actually, the kitchen guys were great. They were pretty much on time. It was the flooring guy that screwed up our schedule. When he gave us his original quote he said he'd be in and out of the house inside two weeks. It turned out to be seven.

It was the typical scenario. He got the job, quickly moved in and ripped out the old flooring to make sure I couldn't change my mind and then he went into stroker mode.

Don't get me wrong, in the end he did a fabulous job, better than we expected, but holy lord liftin' bejesus Christ, it dragged on and on and on. It was insane.

He held us up so long the painters didn't end up leaving the house until two days before the wedding - out of the gate we thought we'd have at least two weeks. And I'm serious when I say insane.

Before the reno started several people said to me how stressful it can be. I laughed it off thinking how stressful can it be. I don't have to do it. Stress? Over what?

Ha. Believe me, when strange fellas are in your house day after day after day for close to two months, it gets stressful. Especially when your stove is in the living room and your fridge is in the foyer. The laundry was a make-shift kitchen for way too long and I got bloody sick of micro-waved food.

However, in the end, it got done. Not on time, but right on budget and the finished product is very nice.

Other stuff.

I'm going to give you a quick state of the union statement because over the next few days I'm going to get back into the bloggin' big time.

Municipal - All eyes are on Toronto where Rob Ford is stretching his lead in the polls by being a punching bag. The more the other assholes takes shots at him, the more the electorate loves him. It's beautiful.

Provincial - A skunk never loses his stripes. The HST fiasco is so typical of Dalton McLiar. He rejects everything the federal government does, but when it comes to sucking off the HST tit, all of a sudden Dalton loves Stephen. You might want to blame Harper for the HST, but remember, in the end it was Dalton's decision. He bought into a Conservative idea. Prick.

Federal - Stephen Harper continues to steer the country in a level headed, productive and rational manner. Meanwhile, Michael Ignatieff continues his hopeless and awkward quest for power. Dick weed.

Sports - Yes, the Toronto Maple Leafs will finish ahead of the Montreal Canadiens this season and the reasoning is simple. They have more talent.

That's about it kiddies, and to address some of the e-mails I received, let me say this.
No, I am not ill but thanks for asking. I had a thyroid biopsy earlier this summer, but that's precautionary. I'm clean.

I already told you about my colonoscopy, so I don't have to belabor that. I had the snake forced up my ass but it wasn't nearly as bad as some people said it would be.

And on the subject of snakes, I really have to tell you how disappointed I was with some of the ridiculous notes I received from some people regarding my lack of blogging. Downright nasty and cruel.

But I shouldn't be surprised, because I'm assume they come the usual suspects There are a lot of frustrated dick heads out there that love to fling shit at people for no real reason. They like to take a shot, and then, of course, not put their name to it.

To those I say. Bite my clank and call me Larz.

That's about it folks. You're up to date.

I don't like to make out like my welfare is any more important than anyone else's.. but hey, you asked.

Come back and visit often because I promise the posting will pick up.

And by the way, Neighbour John won the hamburger contest. Hands down. And he thanks you for your support.


Category: Family | Friends | Neighbour John | Stuff | The Trailer

Permalink Discuss

375 Responses to "OK, Here's The Deal"


Oscar
September 22, 2010 / 09:09

All that wait and you don't mention anything about Jason Barr?
You were working for Corus when you chimed in on Barry Taylor and Martin's dismissal.

I'm just curious if you've spoken to him, what your take is ... etc...


Bob
September 22, 2010 / 09:30

Glad to see you back posting!


Andrew
September 22, 2010 / 09:30

Maybe Jason asked him not to mention it. Who knows? If I were Jason I wouldn't want people talking about my dismissal.
I haven't listen to the Edge since August 24th and don't have plans to again.

Rob Ford - he is going to win and I actually want him to. He will either be the best thing for Toronto or his tactics will be shown to be a horrible trait for Mayor. Who knows? I just know his competition is terrible. How can he lose to Smitherman, Rossi and Joey Pants? They have terrible campaigns.

The one time when Tory could have clean house he stays in radio. Too bad. That was the best man for Mayor.


Freddie P.
September 22, 2010 / 09:31

My take is that it's Jason's business.. he's got a facebook page.. ask him.


Anonymous
September 22, 2010 / 10:14

Right Said Fred

PS I wrote to support you FP.
And I don't want a job at Corus. I don't even want to meet you. The world spins fast enough for the Common Man.
To maintain 3 residences, job, wedding, travel, on line radio appearances, etc etc is enough to raise the stress level to heights never seen before. But a blog comprises the Good the Bad and the Ugly...and you have all 3. BTW...Lee Van should have been the Ugly.


Steve
September 22, 2010 / 10:18

Nice to have you back, Fred.

Congrats on the wedding.

And as for the nasty letters you got about taking the summer away from the site, don't let the bastards get you down. People are ridiculous sometimes. It's not like you're asking them to pay you for the content, it's all free for them while you're the one putting in the time and effort. Hell with all of 'em, do what ya gotta do.


Liz
September 22, 2010 / 10:32

Hey Freddie! Whew - what a whirlwind summer you've had. It's a miracle you had time to wipe your arse never mind do the bloggie thing.

It's fascinating that people get so pissed with you for not posting(not surprisingly, they're pretty much illiterate - dicks). It's an interesting thing, this blog stuff, isn't it? The people who freak when you don't post must not have much going on in their own lives. That's why they need the Freddie P stories to live vicariously through.

When I read this part of your post, "Junie says it was Big Dick looking down on his beloved Mel. Usually I don't believe such stuff, but on this day, I bought right into it." I completely choked up. That must have just turned on the waterworks. Wow. Nothing like a wedding to squeeze those emotions out of us. Congratulations to you and your wonderful wife. You've raised two quality human beings - and good lookin' ones at that.

If you didn't catch it, you have to check out Jonathan Kay's article about that c-word Heather Mallick. It was in yesterday's National Post. And it's REALLY good.

Speaking of a-holes, everytime I hear Slitherman speaking, I want to punch him in the pie hole. Arrogant F***. E-Health douche. And then in last night's debate, slags Rob Ford's dead father. Wow. Desperate, disgusting and done.

Last, and certainly not least, glad to hear that Neighbour John reigned supreme. The others didn't stand a chance.


Pam
September 22, 2010 / 10:33

Welcome back, Fred! Mel makes a lovely bride and she's the spitting image of her old man.
Thanks for the update - it was well worth waiting for!


Buffalo Boy Mike
September 22, 2010 / 10:36

nice to see you back at it Fred, I wasn't worried about the lack of Bloggage, hell on Buffalo Boy I have been lucky to get a post or two a week in lately, im trying to get back in the habit too.


Buffalo Boy Mike
September 22, 2010 / 10:58

BTW while the Leafs and Habs are fighting for second last in the division, well:
http://www.buffaloboymike.com/2010/09/btw.html


Speyside Phil
September 22, 2010 / 11:58

The Leafs will make the playoffs or I will eat all of my Leaf Jerseys. Well except for the one with #13 on it.


JAMES
September 22, 2010 / 12:02

Why Fred, why to you have to screw up a great blog with a verbal blow job for Harper. He has done shit and will continue too. I guess if you do nothing you can't mess up. I will vote for Ford because Toronto needs a shake up in the worse way.


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September 22, 2010 / 12:37

Great post!


El Torpedo
September 22, 2010 / 15:09

Well, that was a bit anti-climatic. I was expecting some big revelation, but instead, the reasons provided for your lack of posting are precisely the same as your August 10th post, right down to the promise of regular updates. I guess time will tell.
In all honesty, I agree with everyone who's said you're not obligated to post. You're not. But being straightforward at the beginning of August and saying, "Hey folks, Freddie P. is gonna be super busy this summer, so I'll be taking a sabbatical from the blog. See ya in the fall." would have gone a long way towards keeping the savages calm.


Anonymous
September 22, 2010 / 15:24

Fraud---you have to admit---Sid Viscious and loyal phans...


Kelly
September 22, 2010 / 17:03

Just glad to have ya back, Freddie!!


God
September 22, 2010 / 17:24

Because you don't believe, I tried with all my might to make it rain for Mel's wedding but that bitch Mother Nature tricked me.

It won't happen at your son's wedding.


Trish
September 22, 2010 / 17:39

You had quite the summer, Fred. You don't have to explain anything to the bridge trolls who threaten to pull the plug on you. Who needs them anyway?

And the bride's dress? I'm thinking it set you back at least $800. (not that it's any of my business!!!!) She'll never have to look at her wedding pictures and wish she had worn something else, because she chose a classic style.


Pauly Walnuts
September 22, 2010 / 17:50

Geezus Freddie, you clean up nice.


Chris Mayberry
September 22, 2010 / 19:25

Nice to see ya Freddie...and congrats on the wedding. You must be a very proud dad...

As for the chowderheads moanin' and mumblin' about a lack of regular updates: always remember, fuck 'em all but six. You'll need pallbearers...


Bob B
September 22, 2010 / 21:34

Good to read your "stuff" again!. Liked your story about the wedding. I am a father of a great daughter who isn't married yet. I can just imagine how proud you must have felt walking her down the isle.


MississaugaBlogger.com
September 22, 2010 / 21:36

Enjoyed your lastest kick at the can.

Melanie look great and should have won the wedding show she was in. Funny contestant and wisest participant by far.

Let see how your millionaires place this year when they sit out the season agian.

Welcome Back Fred


Barnold
September 22, 2010 / 22:23


Wow. Who is this Troy Guy ?

"Hey asshole
48 hours has come and gone. You going to be be a jerk like you have all summer? If your not going to post anything then get rid of the site. Troy"

What a worm. What, Fred's not allowed to have a life ?
Troys the asshole.
What a jerk off.


dave and joy gray
September 22, 2010 / 22:56

Hey Freddie!
Dave and I are on our 34th wedding anniversary vacay, and we were visiting our kids out west. Dave faithfully reads your blog and we were happy to be able to log on at this campsite and read about Mel's wedding!
She looks beautiful....but I was wondering who the old bastard is with her?
Kidding aside, it sounded like an amazing day! Congratulations to Mel and her new husband....and also to you and Delise for raising your 2 wonderful children.
- from your old (and I mean old!) neighbour from Chopin Ave.
PS Dave says Dickie would have had something to do with it.


Oli
September 23, 2010 / 01:31

Welcome back!


Pam
September 23, 2010 / 17:04

@God

Argie, is that you?


Rick C in Oakville
September 23, 2010 / 19:08

Woo Hoo Freddies back in the House!!!

Look forward to more long tales, all the best to you and your family Freddie P.


Big J
September 24, 2010 / 08:13

Welcome back Freddie!


JAMES
September 24, 2010 / 10:30

I apologize for the crack against Harper. He has done something. He bought a fucking pair of glasses. At least he can see what he hasn't done.


Gergs
September 24, 2010 / 10:36

Welcome back, Fred! Very nice story re: your daughter's wedding. I have two boys, so I won't ever have the same feeling you did on your daughter's day.
Way to go with the Leaf's prediction. Might be a long season, might be a shitty season, but it's always worth it if Trawna can pull ahead of Montreal and/or Ottawa!
And hey.....that photo of Neighbour John with that big burger is PRICELESS!! Kinda the same look I have on my pug when I'm sitting in front of a nice juicy steak!

Take care, welcome back fellow Scarberian!!


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September 24, 2010 / 13:16

Going to see ATB Tonight. Its gonna be excellent. There playing with Tocadisco. Then next saturday ill be seeing Simon Patterson. epic nights ahead


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September 24, 2010 / 15:29

Huh!


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Argie (not God)
September 26, 2010 / 18:39

Pam,

Even though I'm the next best thing to God, I'm not him.

Good to have you back, Freddie.


Ivar Hamilton
September 26, 2010 / 21:01

Glad to see you are back Fred.
The wedding looked amazing. My congratulations to Melanie and her new fiance. Missed seeing you and Delyse and Darren at the trailer this summer. Hope to see you soon!

Ivar


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November 30, 2010 / 17:43

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November 30, 2010 / 18:48

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November 30, 2010 / 19:26

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