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I Can't Take It

June 13, 2010 @ 12:35

No, I can't take it.

Honestly, I tried to take a more positive attitude towards this World Cup. There are so many things I don't like about soccer that it really is tough for me to suck it up and try to be one of the multi-millions around the world who get caught-up in this event, but I couldn't do it.

And I couldn't do it for the most unexpected of reasons. The vuvuzela.

It's that goddamn horn that everybody's blowin' in the stadiums across South Africa. It provides a constant din while you're watching a game, and I just can't take it anymore.

During the game on Friday I thought it might be an opening day thing that would eventually go away, but here I am on Sunday morning doing my best to watch Ghana and Serbia of all bloody things, and the vuvuzelas are still going strong.

Whose idea was this?

I guess its OK if you're in one of the stadiums and you're caught up in the excitement of the game ( I use excitement loosely), but to watch it on television and be fighting to hear the commentary over a high pitched and extremely aggravating sound is way too much for this hoser.

I'm not going to beat around the bush, I'm not a soccer fan. I find the sport to be horrifically boring and I admit it comes from never taking the time to fully appreciate the game. But I've never taken the time because it's never encouraged me to take the time.

The tie games and the low scores and the tedious nonsense of watching the ball slowly worked down the field only to be booted back to where it just came from is something I'll never appreciate.

The beautiful game they call it. How on earth can they call soccer the beautiful game less than one week after we were all treated to the Stanley Cup final? That my friends is the beautiful game.

And while most people get more excited at World Cup time, the aggravation only increases for me. It becomes a cheap way of promoting your heritage, even though in most cases the people cheering for their homeland have never been to their homeland.

To me, the game isn't the thing; it's what it represents that really matters to most people, a chance to put a Serbian flag on your car and drive around town like you're the President of that country.

And while I'm on that point, let me say this. I don't think the flag of any foreign country should be flown in Canada without the Canadian flag flying next to it. Even it's one of those goofy car flags. It's the respectful thing to do, but here in Canada we don't seem to encourage such behaviour.

Again, I went into this World Cup with the best of intentions. It's being held in South Africa and my wife is South African, she was actually born there.

I thought what the hell, I'll cheer for South Africa as a means of trying to bring some sense of passion to it, but it was all shot to hell very quickly.

Because of those goddamn vuvuzelas.

And spare me the solution of turning down the sound on the television. Soccer is boring enough without having to watch it in silence.

I think I'll go out back and watch some weeds grow.

Category: Sports

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58 Responses to "I Can't Take It"


California Kickball
June 13, 2010 / 15:11

Nailed it, Freddie!

You managed to encapsulate my inner thoughts in a single blog post.

The fans remind me of those who cheer for the Habs. Annoying.


CQ
June 13, 2010 / 17:05

It's a lot better than the drumming of a TFC match. As an apartment dweller*, those plastic air horns provide a soothing & steady din similar to an AC unit for masking over neighbouring noises.
*Any neighbourhood set-up can be an annoyance. I've got folks who left cottage country retirement after a few years of putting up with a nearby 'regular good guy' blaring his (f'n right!) car stereo all the time. All the time, without fail.
Beides the three-tweet Chicago Whistler was worse.


El Torpedo
June 13, 2010 / 17:59

This classic clip sums it up for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noOHdTQd6H8


Sammi
June 13, 2010 / 19:01

Freddie...For once (I think)....I completely agree with you!! That damn horn is so annoying!!! Not to mention the game itself.


Andy Wilson
June 13, 2010 / 20:14

THANK YOU Freddie. I hate this "sport" like nothing else on earth. It annoys me to no end. Jim Rome is a great outlet for my hatred of soccer. Always a great take. Check this clip out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyrkEVt4rRE&feature=related


buster69
June 13, 2010 / 20:31

Its called ignorance to a sport
we chastised Fox TV for there attempt to broad cast hockey. They failed to do it because they didn't understand the game.
The same can be said for the way we broadcast soccer here
There really is no sport better to watch live then Soccer the atmosphere is amazing


Pauly Walnuts
June 13, 2010 / 21:00

That noise was made by those horns? I thought it was the excess alcohol in my blood that was causing that noise in my ears.


Argie
June 13, 2010 / 21:37

Freddie,

You're such a hockey puck. Yes the horns are annoying but soccer played at this level is in fact a beautiful game.

No playoff beards, no Don Cherry, no over the hill Bob Cole, and finally no talent-challenged wanks like Scott Hartnell - just the best athletes in the world.

Having said that, yesterday sucked as my English team blew it against the US.


Freeway
June 13, 2010 / 21:40

Horns annoying. Yes.

Kinda like Leafs' fans.

Forza Italia!


Trish
June 13, 2010 / 21:52

Ugh! It's the most unmanliest of sports, if indeed you can call it that. It's played by a bunch of eunuchs who cannot skate, throw a pass or hit one out of the park. And it's followed by legions of the toothless, uneducated, and unwashed masses. Disgusting!


Boomer
June 13, 2010 / 22:38

I thought that I was the only one who didn't get soccer.

I almost felt as though I was missing out on something. Booooooring.

Go Habs Go!


Murph
June 13, 2010 / 23:04

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world only because it is one of the cheapest sports in the world to play.

I would say that a soccer fan's claim of beauty is out of ignorance to many other more expensive, yet entertaining sports not easily accessible to 95% of the world.


Murph
June 13, 2010 / 23:04

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world only because it is one of the cheapest sports in the world to play.

I would say that a soccer fan's claim of beauty is out of ignorance to many other more expensive, yet entertaining sports not easily accessible to 95% of the world.


Jason
June 14, 2010 / 01:48

Gotta love the spammers...



Torontonian
June 14, 2010 / 02:42

Don't use the audio on your TV. Use the captioning and read the comments while listening to anything else you might like--like music for instance.

Then, if you really need to tune in for a moment or two, it won't be such a painful experience.

I've been using captioning for several decades now and it works wonderfully because I can read CBC News Network while listening to my choice of music. That is, until something significant comes along.


David
June 14, 2010 / 06:24

I agree with some of your points, Fred:

- most of the games so far have been dire, but a lot of the heavyweights that provide real entertainment haven't played yet (and neither have Italy)
- the vuvuzelas are beyond irritating, but there is talk of them being banned for the rest of the tournament. I still think thunderstix are a stronger sign of the apocalypse

However, to draw on your comparison with hockey, here are some random thoughts from someone loves and plays both regularly:

- I'll take 90 minutes of buzzing over 90 seconds of Pierre McGuire or Greg Millen every single time
- never mind a World Cup, go to any top level domestic league game outside North America, and you'll instantly recognize how antiseptic, choreographed and reactive the sports environment here is (with Toronto at the top of that list)
- good luck getting together a hockey tournament with 32 nations - with 100's trying to qualify. 6 is pushing it. as a Canadian, I'd love to see us compete in something that more than a few more people give a shit about


Murph
June 14, 2010 / 07:59

Come to think of it, those vuvuzela horns are the most interesting thing about the games so far.


Wayner
June 14, 2010 / 09:50

I have not watched a game long enough to be annoyed by the vuvuzela...Roger's new paint drying channel takes up too much of my time


Steve
June 14, 2010 / 10:21

That's some cutting edge shit, Wayner! Please say 'hi' to Judd Apatow for me.

BTW - who is Roger and how long has he had his own channel for?


Anonymous
June 14, 2010 / 10:24

Plastic Horns were at Argo's games 20 years ago.


LEW
June 14, 2010 / 10:39

Geez Fred, if it were only like a hockey game; we could just ask management to turn off the jumbo-tron with the "make noise with your vuvuzela horn" message. Hockey fans know better than to cheer without being told.
PS. Since '72 when the series moved to Russia, sound of whistling makes me bark like a dog


Freeway
June 15, 2010 / 05:21

If Canada were winning World Cups or even qualifying for that matter, trust me, all you haters would be at the bar drinking and cheering your team like you would the Leafs.


Jason Barr
June 15, 2010 / 07:19

I have played soccer since I was 4 years old. I love playing soccer. However, the professional game can be one of the most boring things to watch. Put that together with the irritating noise and the ridiculous diving, and I will take a pass on watching any games with more than a passing interest.


JAMES
June 15, 2010 / 07:46

Fred; you are more or less right. I you don't like Soccer that's your business. I have learned to appreciate the game, but those damn horns are the worst. Who the hell came up with that idea. I'm sure somebody put a product logo on them so we are stuck with them.


Wayner
June 15, 2010 / 08:05

Who’s Judd Apatow?

The next part of the Simpsons clip shows that the tediousness of the game drove the fans to riot...very true. I played soccer ("football") growing up as do my children and have tried on numerous occasions to watch to watch the game on TV. It's just another sport that is more fun to play than to watch (unless you're on a patio with a pint or two in front of you). North Americans view sport differently.


Jed Clampett
June 15, 2010 / 09:16

Golf is about the only 'soft' sport North American's really like.


Freeway
June 15, 2010 / 18:03

Baseball LOL


El Torpedo
June 15, 2010 / 19:20

"If Canada were winning World Cups...all you haters would be...cheering your team like you would the Leafs."

Just like we'd be burning down Toronto if the Leafs went on a playoff run, right Freeway?


Dutch Dude
June 15, 2010 / 20:15

Why harsh on people cheering for their heritage even if they've never been there? For that matter why harsh on folks caught up in the excitement of something fun.

Seriously.. for someone who pretends to be all jokey and goofy you're a friggin pill man.. lighten up and open up.


Freeway
June 15, 2010 / 20:59

Burning it down completely.


Neil O
June 15, 2010 / 22:24

Did not read all the posts but were these stinkin horns not around everywhere in the early 70's? Did they not orignate at the EX!!!? and Argo games and the like??? I remember cuttin my lip on these which was allot easier to take than my older brother and his buddies whackin us with them.....


Muray
June 16, 2010 / 12:40

Someone please stop the horns! I tried to give the World Cup a chance, but I'd even turn off the Superbowl if there was the same annoying background noise.


joan
June 16, 2010 / 13:31

I agree with you freddie, can't stand the "vuvuzelas!!!sounds like a lot of buzzing bees even with my bad hearing.Love your website!!


merc92
June 16, 2010 / 14:47

The Vuvuzela, just when you though kazoos were the most annoying "musical instruments"


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