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A Letter To Maxim Lapierre

May 15, 2010 @ 08:55

Dear Maxim

I am so happy you're a Montreal Canadien because it makes things a whole lot easier for me.

You see Maxim, I've never been a big fan of the Philadelphia Flyers so I wasn't entirely thrilled when they knocked off the Boston Bruins in game seven last night.

The Flyers aren't the broad street bullies any more and they haven't won a Stanley Cup in 35 years but they still aggravate me. I grew to dislike them back in the 1970's during a few classic playoff series with the Leafs, and since then, I've actually enjoyed their non-success.

In the series against Boston I wanted the Bruins to win for two reasons. My friend Craig Ramsay is a Bruins assistant coach and the Flyers have that sawed off little creep Dan Carcillo.

Carcillo is a nasty cheap shot artist who has been caught diving on more than one occasion. He makes it tough to pull for the Flyers.

But that's where you come in Maxim. If you didn't play for the Habs, there might be an "extremely far "outside chance that I could actually do it, actually pull for the Habs over the Flyers.

But you've made the decision easy for me.

You're quite the weasel yourself. Your childish taunting of the Caps and Flyers, your unwillingness to drop the gloves and your horrendous diving displays and cheap shots have made it a wash for me.

Although Dan Carcillo is probably a little worse than you are, it's still not enough for me to support the Habs. You Maxim, have made it possible for me to choose a team that has the likes of Dan Carcillo on it.

It won't be easy. I won't like it. I'll probably have to shower after every game, but thanks to you and your "almost" equal status with Dan Carcillo it comes down to a choice of teams for me.

And it's all brotherly love.

Regards
Frederick R. Patterson
President / CEO
Hab Haters of the Universe

Category: Sports

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55 Responses to "A Letter To Maxim Lapierre"


Sammi
May 16, 2010 / 08:13

You would love to have a guy like Lapierre on the Leafs.


MississuagaBlogger.com
May 16, 2010 / 12:50

Toronto would love to have a team.


Steve
May 16, 2010 / 13:19

When he played for the Leafs, he went by 'Darcy Tucker'. Was fairly popular I think


Freddie P.
May 16, 2010 / 18:37

@Steve
Sorry buddy, Tucker wasn't a weasel.. he answered the call.. dropped the gloves and finished what he started.
Lapierre is a creep.


Anonymous
May 16, 2010 / 23:28

Laperree,Caroso---who cares---lots of talent out there


Steve 0
May 17, 2010 / 11:48

Darcy Tucker ( aka Sideshow Bob) is a little worm who made everything about himself. Not a team player what so ever. Would never sacrifice anything for the team unless it was a benefit for him. The biggest suck in the History of the NHL and the Leaf fans love him! Go figure!


Chipper
May 17, 2010 / 14:15

Frederick R. Patterson... what does the R stand for???

Richard, as in Rocket Richard? I know you pronounce it 'Reeshar'


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