Hockey Night In Peterborough

January 6, 2010 @ 08:38

Looking forward to last night's hockey game, I decided to seek some atmosphere so I wandered over to Champs Sports Bar in the trendy (for Peterborough) Charlotte Mews area.

I was joined by a couple of Wolf buddies, morning man TJ Connors and production wizard Ryan Lalonde.

We got a decent table not far from the large projection screen, but far enough to be separated by a table that featured a couple of Milfs. (They received this designation from TJ and Ryan)

Anyway, in order to watch the game I had to have this one particular woman in my sight lines and it was interesting to see her sobriety decline as the night went along. At first she appeared to be proper and polite, but as she continued to pound the ales she became louder and more animated with her body movements.

I think it was somewhere around the middle of the second period that she started to wave her arms and let out the odd "wahoo" while doing just about everything but watch the game.

At one point, without the assistance of music, she started to "sit dance". You know, when someone remains seated but dances in their chair from the waist up. I hate it, and I really hated her doing it, but eventually I cut her some slack because it turns out she had a broken foot.

She wore a cast.

At one point during one of her seat dancing sessions she leaned forward and I caught a glimpse of her thong. It wasn't one of those moments that takes your breath away, rather it was one of those moments that takes your virility away.

The thong was one of those really stringy things that rode up very high on her hips, and it was obvious the part that cupped her "va hoo hoo" was also rather slim.

The thong appeared to be old, and yellow in colour with black faces on it. The opposite of smiley faces. I don't know if there's a term for smiley faces with the smile turned upside down, but that's what she sported and I wasn't surprised because I'd have a scowl on my face too if I had to engage that ars.

As the game wore on, she became measurably more aggravating and during overtime, she stood up on her broken foot a couple of times and blocked the screen.

Now I ask you, do you think Freddie P. was happy at this point? Far fuckin' from it, and it didn't help that as she stood up her jeans were extremely low cut and the thong continued to ride high in a crooked and awkward fashion.

I was almost happy when Team USA scored in overtime to end this madness. Team Canada didn't deserve to win and I didn't deserve to be exposed to the sideshow in front of me.

But it got worse. Right after Team USA scored the winner a slender woman from the back of the room ran up to "thong lady" and lifted her shirt, sweater and bra and exposed her perky boobs with rather large areolas. This prompted thong woman to do the same, exposing her "better than I thought they'd be boobs" to the entire bar. And it wasn't a brief glimpse. She stood there and gyrated her hips in classic peeler fashion.

I shook my head in disbelief. A Tuesday night in a local down to earth sports bar, Team Canada had just lost the World Juniors and this was taking place in front of me.

But there's more.

After covering up, the two women in question, not six feet in front of me, started to have a conversation and while slight and perky stood there, thong woman reached out and started to rub her friend's reproductive area.

No kidding. As they talked, hop-along Sue was caressing the inside of the other women's thighs and then deliberately sliding her hand up and rubbing her love patch... and she spent quite a bit of time there.

Needless to say, a good portion of the fellas that were in the area enjoyed what they saw and started hootin' and hollerin' but I was quite different and it was at this point I realized that I must be getting old.

I like lesbo stuff just as much as the next guy, and there was a time that such a show, even with two-bit players would have revved my engine to some degree.

Not this time, I lost my patience, and screamed for them to sit down so I could watch Sportscentre.

You've gotta love Peterborough.