Blog Comments Blog Archives About Me Radio Gems The Trailer Links Contact


November 14, 2009 @ 12:02

There are three things that make my blood boil. Wife beaters, animal abusers and forced marriages - in no particular order I might add, it all depends on the situation.

I got up Saturday morning and went through the various e-papers and happened upon an article in the Toronto Star about forced marriages and it made me shake by head - and of course, made my blood boil.

Talk about infuriating, and from so many angles. In its purest form, a forced marriage is not only archaic and selfish and silly, in most cases it's racist.

Imagine your average white Canadian man refusing to let his daughter marry someone because of their colour or religion? He immediately would be labeled an intolerant, trailer park Archie Bunker asshole. But for some reason, when it happens within the South Asian community, where it's most prominent, there's an air of understanding or tolerance.

Like most things that deal with race and religion in our confused little country, there's always politically correct attempt to understand it as long as it doesn't involve the white guy.

It's culture they say. It's tradition. It's the way it's always been done. Cool, and I'll accept all that if it doesn't happen on Canadian soil. It doesn't make it right that they're still living in the dark ages in India, but there are enough things in Canada to fix without having to worry about a third world country with something as oppressive as a caste system.

In Canada, forced marriages should be declared illegal. Any attempt by parents to force their child to marry someone against their wishes should be reported to authorities and be dealt with severely. This is no better than the slave trade or human trading that every decent society has worked so hard to prevent or snuff out.

Maybe I'm too rational, or I've always been too distanced from religion, but as the human species evolves I can't help but think that rationality should take over in many instances.

In the year 2009, regardless of race or religion or status, the idea of one person forcing another to marry someone against their wishes is simply not acceptable. There is no excuse for it, there is reason for it and there should be zero tolerance for it.

It is wrong.

The stories referred to in the Star article are shocking and we should all take notice because it's happening all around us. Cultural strength within some communities has reduced some children to objects, objects to offer someone else to keep a culture or a race intact, objects to satisfy prehistoric beliefs.

And this should be far reaching. If parents coerce their children out of the country and force the marriage of a Canadian child on foreign soil they should be charged immediately upon their return and the marriage should not be recognized and any documentation initiated to bring the "new husband" to Canada should be dumped into the garbage.

That's another motive of these forced marriages, easy access to Canada.

And let's not try to play games through this. In the Star article the point is made that this problem is a cross-cultural and cross-racial issue. If you want to beat the bushes long enough you can find examples of forced marriage within every race, religion and culture including the polygamists out in BC who are conveniently referred to in the Star.

Of course this is an attempt to draw white boy into the fray, but make no mistake about it, this is decidedly a South Asian practice.

The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in BC is a cult and can't be compared to the systemic practices of the South Asian community. Neither is right, but one vastly differs from the other.

And I have to laugh at the headline of the Star article. "Forced to wed: 'They think they're doing what's best for the child." .... To my mind just another politically correct attempt to justify this on some level.

Anyone with half a brain in their head knows this is wrong and no level of rationale can justify it.

Don't kid yourself, these parents do it for themselves because they're very selfish, extremely intolerant but mostly racist.

Category: Racism | Stuff

Permalink Discuss

93 Responses to "Despicable"

November 14, 2009 / 14:41

Right on Freddie. It's a disgusting practice that has no place in Canada.

November 14, 2009 / 15:28

Not much different than sending your kid to private school meet other rich kids for business and marriage.

November 14, 2009 / 16:51

Percival, you're kidding aren't you? You've got to be kidding! Or are you part of the discontent underachievers who resent those who did.

November 14, 2009 / 16:57

Seriously man! One is coercion in the extreme, where an entire family force one member to marry a man she's never met. The other is monied individuals sending their kids to monied schools and HOPING they will marry someone monied. When did you last hear of a Bishop Strachan girl being taken out of the country and not being allowed to return without marrying the guy they'd chosen? It's not happening.

November 14, 2009 / 17:00

One is forced, the other is hope.. big difference.. and to be honest, you lost me with the Bishop Strachan bit.

November 14, 2009 / 17:32

Who could forget St Elsewhere when the Indian Doc had an arranged marriage. It fell apart and no one wanted to talk to him about it. Finally one expressed their condolances and he said `that`s ok, she was one ugly broad`.

November 14, 2009 / 17:32

Sorry I lost you there. Bishop Stachan is a private school very well known to the Eatons and the Bassetts and the Rogers' and other well-monied families in Toronto.

November 14, 2009 / 18:30

I like when new Canadians bring some of their customs & traditions with them when they hit our shores.
However the oppressive attitudes towards their wives, daughters and women should be left behind.
Embrace Canada and make our some of our customs some of your new ones.

November 14, 2009 / 19:11

Compelling post, Fred.
Once again we see the Star acting as an apologist on behalf unacceptable immigrant practices. And I'll repeat your word - that is despicable. You'll find their editors screaming louder for the rights of Omar Khadr.
I don't know where to start here. For me, this is a gender issue more than anything - where a woman is served up to the highest bidder. It is sexual slavery. As Canadian citizens, these women are entitled to protection, their tormentors deserve jail, but I don't see that happening, because any politician that gets that ball rolling will lose the South Asian vote.
The high school I went to in the 70s had a large italian population. I had two girls in my class in grade 9 who were engaged to older men they had never met. Both girls were to be married after grade 10, once they turned 16. Although both girls had engagement rings, neither one was happy about their fate. I remember being so shocked and disgusted and wondered how their parents could be so cruel...

Rick C in Oakville
November 14, 2009 / 22:09

This is so despicable on many levels. Along with Genital Mutilation and other old world practices, as a father of a teenage daughter it sickens me to what value these parents put on their daughters.

I just did a Google search on women fleeing these marriages and it is happening all over the world, large number in England. The number of family honour killings is just outrageous.

I hope any girls living here with an arranged marriage hanging over their heads flee, as there are people in their communities set up to help them. The isolation and the sense of disgracing the family seems to stop most.

Our WW1 & WW2 vets fought so that we could enjoy the freedoms we have, just because a group of newcomers has a sickening Cultural tradition we should not cave to the Multi Cult apologists, this practice has no place in Canadian society and should be banned.

November 15, 2009 / 06:17

Right on Freddie. Pam, you clearly didn't read the Star piece - at least not the one I read. It in no way apologises or downplays the injustice of the practice of forced marriages.

From the article:

Forced marriage can also be a matter of family honour. "It's acceptable if the son is dating someone, but God save you if you, a girl, have a boyfriend," says Amandeep Kaur, manager of Punjabi Community Health Services.

"It's totally unacceptable."


"Parents think if they marry their daughter off to someone who was born and raised in, say, Pakistan, it will help preserve the culture," says Mattoo. "What they don't understand is that they are wreaking havoc on their kids' lives."

I'm not getting your "once again the Star acting as an apologist" thing you refer to ...

Not everything liberal (note the small "l") is bad boys and girls in right-wing land. How about kudos to the Star for researching and writing the story? They've flagged the issue up, which is more than any other media outlet in Canada has done.

November 15, 2009 / 11:32

No kudos to the Star. I am chosing not to read the paper anymore, and not browse their site. I have read too many anti police, anti Canadian troop stories and dont want my 'hits' on their site making them money. I encourage all to do the same.

November 15, 2009 / 14:55

Re's not normal for a large newspaper to put him on the front page 5 days of 7. And to hit the supreme court? This is an extremely rich and powerful family who is not a friend of the west.

November 15, 2009 / 15:02

Our caste system has people with Mercedes Benz and BMW's. They live in rich areas. Think they are the priveleged lot. They send their kids to private schools not only avoid riff raff but to meet other rich kids who will be business contacts and to marry a rich mate.

Right Uppercut
November 15, 2009 / 15:12

Ralphie: what's wrong with being successful, making money and enjoying the benefits of same?

As for arranged "marriages..." rah rah, just another very dubious "benefit" of forced multi-cult, another legacy from Chairman Mao... er Pierre.

November 15, 2009 / 15:48

Don't forget the Catholics hate your way of life Fred; allowing divorce, using contraceptives instead of seeding every spring – maybe you can help your brothers and sisters understand that eventually the religious zealots are exposed for their misgivings and our great Canadian culture is eventually adopted – give them your warm shoulder, not the cold one.
I love that old South Asian song – Match maker match maker make me a match…..

November 15, 2009 / 16:10

Lew: Man, you're awesome. You're using that tired old liberal tactic called "relativism". That's where you take something so despicable and wrong like arrange marriage and honor killings and compare it to a Christian belief (or in this case, Catholic) that doesn't condone g@y marriage or abortion.

I really thought you were smarter than that. You should be writing for the Toronto Star instead of just wasting away on pot in BC.

November 15, 2009 / 18:15

Right---I don't support either. Arranged marriages are draconian. Sending your kids to private schools. I would do it if I could. But for a quality education.

November 15, 2009 / 22:46

Romy - you are wrong - as of Sunday night , the online Star hasn't published one letter in response to the article. That tells me they are being careful not to offend the special interest groups.

Line of Sight
November 16, 2009 / 09:10

Jason Kenny has it right. If you don't agree with this then don't comer here. Plain and simple.

November 16, 2009 / 11:12

Just an update for Romy: not one reader letter in the Star about the South Asian forced marriage article. Not one editorial demanding the community end this practice.
There is however, as I pointed out in an earlier post, an outraged demand on behalf of Omar Khadr....

Mike from Lowville
November 16, 2009 / 11:15

In the Muslim faith, a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1 year old and
have sexual intimacy with this child, consummating the marriage by 9.

The dowry is given to the family in exchange for the woman (who becomes his slave) and for the purchase
of the private parts of the woman, to use her as a toy.

Even though a woman is abused she cannot obtain a divorce.

To prove rape, the woman must have (4) male witnesses.

Often after a woman has been raped, she is returned to her family and the family must return
the dowry. The family has the right to execute her (an honour killing) to restore the honour of the
family. Husbands can beat their wives 'at will' and they do not have to say why.

The husband is permitted to have 4 wives, and a temporary wife for an hour (prostitute)
at his discretion.

The Shariah Muslim law controls the private as well as the public life of the woman.

In the West World, Muslim men are starting to demand Shariah Law so the wife
cannot obtain a divorce and he can have full and complete control of her. It is amazing and alarming
how many young women attending Canadian Universities are
now marrying Muslim men and submitting themselves and their
children unsuspectingly to the Shariah law.

Frank the Tank
November 16, 2009 / 12:11

Pam I fail to see the point you are trying to make. Must be nice to live in a world where there is only way of seeing things.

November 16, 2009 / 13:23

The Star doesn't always allow letters online particularly around their front page pal Omar Khadr. Did they allow letters for arranged marriages?

November 16, 2009 / 13:23

Pam - No newspaper - NONE - enable comments for any racially sensitive piece (for obvious reasons). Like it, or not, it isn't just an issue for the Star. The Globe nor the Post would enable comments for that story either. Again, you're missing my point: The Star DID the story, which is so obviously critical of arranged marriages (just read the piece); no other paper has done that. Congrats to their people for shining a light on a shameful practice.

November 16, 2009 / 13:26

there were lots Jake

November 16, 2009 / 14:52

Maybe I'm wrong but last time I looked, readers of the Post were free to reply to "sensitive" issues of race. This forced marriage thing was a big Saturday news feature at the Star a few years back. After that article, a follow-up interviewed and photographed supposedly happy victims of arranged marriages. Please, let's not give the Star credit for recycling stories.

November 16, 2009 / 17:29

Sigh, Yes, there were lots of comments Romy, as Gus has pointed out. What I am asking is where is the Star's official editorial stance on this issue? There isn't one yet, just another on Omar Khadr....

November 16, 2009 / 21:04

The Khadr family won't allow comments.

November 24, 2009 / 18:04

I found a really great network that taught me how to marker webcam sites!! Check it out, you two can learn and earn!!

November 27, 2009 / 04:49

"Hey guy's how's it going! I hope all is well..just thought I'd make a post introducing my self and to share a bit about my self, I'm 24 years old...Im orginally from Canada but I moved here about 6months ago..I have a pretty exciting week coming up..I'm meeting up with a amazing man I've met online at we've met up a few times now, he lives about 15 hours away from me and everytime he comes down we have an amazing time! Thats all for now, I look forward to meeting some of you to"

August 2, 2010 / 09:48

Over de voor- en nadelen van het afsluiten van een lening zonder BKR-toetsing.

August 4, 2010 / 05:43

Migraine is hoofdpijn die in aanvallen komt. De hoofdpijn komt plotseling op, soms midden in de nacht zodat u er wakker van wordt. De pijn zit meestal aan

August 12, 2010 / 18:58

I was just speaking to my older sister with reference to this yesterday. I also saw an article on this over at the topa website. Isnt it weird how these things show up in waves. to be candid, it is kind of creepy.

August 12, 2010 / 19:11

they were talking about this over at the puntz forum. it was in the first stages to become a firey conversation.

Rehearsal Studios
August 12, 2010 / 19:25

people were arguing this over at the puntz forum. it was in the first stages to turn out to be a hot battle.

Rehearsal Rooms
August 12, 2010 / 19:31

I was just talking to my baby siss on the subject of this the other day. I also seen an article on this over at the mopa forum. Isnt it odd how these things pop up in bunches. to be honest, it is sort of creepy.

August 12, 2010 / 19:48

I was just talking to my big brother regarding this the other day. I also seen a blog on that over at the bowa forum. Isnt it comical how these things pop up in waves. to be frank, it is kind of menacing.

never fail list building system
August 21, 2010 / 17:16

Cool piece of writing man, I really like the look and additionally the feel of this excellent web site. You write certainly well, you have got to be a aware guy. Will unquestionably come back

Swiss Replica Watches
August 22, 2010 / 12:34

Thanks for your visiting this online store.

asian dating sites vancouver
August 28, 2010 / 08:45

Interracial Dating Services For Relationships And Marriages Interracial marriage is defined as marriages between different races, such as Black women and White men, Asian women and Caucasian men, Indian women and Black men, and etc. We have seen many interracial dating services online which help men to meet ....

Swiss Replica Watch
August 28, 2010 / 18:39

Thanks for your visiting this online store.

Fausto Leza
August 30, 2010 / 10:45

Incredible!, i thought this was a high quality post. The theory is that I would like to publish something like this also - taking time and genuine effort to manufacture a quality piece of writing... still , what can I say... I put things off lots but not seem to get something accomplished

Leesa Bergholm
August 30, 2010 / 16:17

Just noticed a webcam site called Chat Spasm, a 24/7 webcam party site.

Jewell Trentham
September 2, 2010 / 17:08

Who the hell suspected building a mosque at ground zero could be really helpful? I am not a great fan of both Glen Beck or Sarah Palin then again in comparison to Obama and the ridiculous administration, both of these are geniuses, come on America, there's a bit of odd stuff going on. Babs.

saints youth jerseys
September 10, 2010 / 03:28

I think all of the fans may like it too.

Nelson Rollheiser
September 10, 2010 / 22:22

this was a very entertaining read. i enjoyed it very much!

jordans for sale
September 17, 2010 / 14:28

Blasphemy! Hehe Just kidding. I've read similar things on different blogs. I'll take your word for it. Stay solid - your friend.

September 18, 2010 / 15:26

Blasphemy! LOL Just kidding! I've read similar things on different blogs. I'll take your word for it. Stay solid - your pal.

cheap jordans for sale
September 18, 2010 / 16:09

Hmm, that is some compelling writing you've got going here. Makes me scratch my head and think. Keep up the great writing!

October 4, 2010 / 03:06

Sorry for the huge review, but I'm really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it's the right choice for you.

cheap nfl jerseys
October 5, 2010 / 00:01

This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like 'Mixview' that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you're listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of "neighbors" will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune "Social" is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

new orleans saints jerseys
October 5, 2010 / 02:19

Sorry for the huge review, but I'm really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it's the right choice for you.

nfl jerseys
October 5, 2010 / 10:45

This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like 'Mixview' that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you're listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of "neighbors" will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune "Social" is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

Link Building
October 26, 2010 / 14:03

Keep focusing on your blog. I love how we can all express our feelings. This is an extremely nice blog here :)

Link Building
October 27, 2010 / 02:28

Nice blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What host are you using? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

link building
October 29, 2010 / 23:22

I would like to start my own blog one day. This was a really nice blog that you made here. Keep up the success :P

Seks Strony
October 30, 2010 / 04:44

Wonderful entry, which everyone should be interested. Already I threw myself your blog to bookmarks in my web browser.

October 31, 2010 / 15:11

When I first read your article I did not really understand why it might be important. But as I think about it all it becomes absolutely clear to me and I see that you are right. Thank you for this new feelings that you have given to me. Kettensklavin

Olene Bartolet
November 1, 2010 / 06:20

Stumbled upon your web site via bing the other day and absolutely like it. Continue the excellent work.

Brent Washler
November 1, 2010 / 07:03

Enjoyed reading/following your page.Please keep it coming. thank you. Cheers!check out my blog

black ops watch
November 1, 2010 / 07:18

That regarded as optimum page i always need sometimes study. You've gotten pain relief a superb item of advice. I may obviously portion keep in mind this with a few different acquaintances. Continue especially if they function, I would to settle in contact with your entire items.

Mohammad Servantez
November 1, 2010 / 18:36

I agree with the OP comments.check out my blog

Merrill Lumas
November 10, 2010 / 23:36

I agree with the OP comments.check out my blog

Tucson Real Estate Pro
November 12, 2010 / 19:35

Why would anyone want to live a life without Jesus in it? It is because of Him that life is so great! If you haven't found Jesus in your life, you need to. A life with Jesus is brilliant!!!

Best knock off Handbags
November 15, 2010 / 02:27

The rooms have the most modern in the world of fashion in this brand. Christian Louboutin and Best Knock Off Handbags are famous and notorious for the true blue blood with the true wealth of more in the world of fashion.

Leanora Cowing
November 23, 2010 / 00:41

This really is my very first time I have visited this website. I discovered lots of interesting things in your site. In the tons of remarks in your content articles, I suppose I'm not the only one! keep up the actual impressive work.

Jessi Radom
November 23, 2010 / 07:01

It absolutely looks to be so. Great post by the way!

Zaida Vadlamudi
November 24, 2010 / 10:40

Hey check out my blog too. I hope i have some fun stuff too.

Fernande Philps
November 24, 2010 / 11:39

wow, awesome post, I was wondering the same thing. and found your site by google, many userful stuff here, now i have got some idea. bookmarked and also signed up your rss. keep us updated.

Fake Handbags In China
November 26, 2010 / 03:43

After 20 years of experience in the beauty and image business on Fake Handbags In China was a mentor and training men and women of different backgrounds, from socially disadvantaged young people with the professions.

baby clothes wholesale
November 27, 2010 / 15:13

Thanks for your insight for the great posting. I am glad I have taken the time to see this.

Buy Backlinks
November 30, 2010 / 01:32

Love all the opinions expressed here! How is everyone? Love how everyone expresses whatr they feel :)

« Today With Neil Morrison Today With Jeff McArthur »