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Birds Are Stupid

June 17, 2008 @ 08:38

There’s something weird been going on around my house this spring, and this morning it became so bad it woke me out of a sound sleep and I jumped out of bed and dashed downstairs.

Birds are flying into my windows. Not by mistake, but on purpose.

A couple of weeks ago I heard a constant tap against my basement window and when I went down to investigate, there was a sparrow flying at the window, banging into it, and then perching itself on a tree branch before doing it all over again with precision timing.

There was some stained glass hanging in front of the window so I moved it hoping there was something in the glass that was attracting the poor bastard who was literally knocking his brains out.

It worked for a few minutes, but it wasn’t long before he was back to doing it again.

Over the past couple of weeks, it hasn’t been constant, but every so often another bird will come back and choose another window.

This morning it was crazy.

As I said, it woke me out of a sound sleep and caused great concern with a measure of consternation as I rambled down the stairs in my underwear.

There are the front window was a large Robin throwing itself into the glass repeatedly and making quite the bang.

Like clockwork it would fly into the window, perch on a tree, and then do it again. If you put a stop-watch on the son of bitch it would have been precision timing.

Of course this finally led to the question why. Why are these birds doing this and why are picking on my house?

My mind quickly raced. Are they trying to get at me? Eventually will a huge flock smash through the window, attack me, knock me over and pick my eyes out?

I saw “The Birds.”

And then I had a “dad” moment. My dad loved birds and seemed to know why they did everything, so without a doubt I would have picked up the phone and called him for the answer. Unfortunately, I don’t have that option any more, so I did the next best thing, I googled “why do birds fly into windows” and here’s what I got.

Turns out during mating season they’re a little freaked out and when they see their reflection in a window they think its another bird and they attack.

How bloody stupid is that? Now I know why they came up with the term "bird brain".

Category: Stuff

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8 Responses to "Birds Are Stupid"


Ball
June 17, 2008 / 10:37

Hey Freddie... the birds are looking for nesting material, and with you running around in your tighty whities, all they can focus on is your hairy back. Put a shirt on!


Nigel Trousershrapnel
June 17, 2008 / 10:40

The mental image of you racing down the stairs in your tidy whites, will haunt me forever.
I'm be tempted to throw myself against a window if I thought it could help wash away that horrible, horrible picture.....


Jason Barr
June 17, 2008 / 10:40

I had the same problem last year. It drove me nuts.


lastwordlinda
June 17, 2008 / 21:06

Hmmm. Sounds like a boyfriend I once had. Only if he saw his reflection he would kiss it, not run into it.


Barney
June 17, 2008 / 23:26


I've heard of this happening before.
Eventually, a huge flock will smash through your window, attack you,knock you over and peck your eyes out.
Mark my words.
True man True !


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