Freddie P's Blog

June 26, 2008 @ 08:36

Hey people, how’s this for an interesting little Toronto radio tid-bit.

It was sent along by my friend and former colleague Jason Barr.

Now that Roger, Rick and Marilyn no longer exists in its original form, guess what Toronto "commercial" morning show is now the longest running in the city, the show that’s been around longer than any other show currently on the air?

The Dean Blundell Show.

Good for you fellas, Dean, Jason and Todd.

Keep doing what you’re doing.

Category: Radio

June 26, 2008 @ 08:35

I read with mixed emotions the story of Ed the Sock yesterday.

He's become the latest of victim of the changes at City-TV. Rogers seems to have some distinct plans for the station, and the edgy off colour sock is not part of them.

People can bitch and complain all they want about what's fair and what's just and what makes sense and what doesn't, but it won't get you anywhere.

The broadcasting industry in Canada isn't what it used to be, and somehow "product" doesn't matter much any more. Bottom line is the ruler.

But on the subject of product, I have to say this. I was never a fan of Ed the Sock the show, but I was always a big fan of Ed the Sock the entity.

I can't explain it. I just never found the sock funny. He never made me laugh, he rarely made me smile. I don't care for the act, and I never got the humour.

Of course that means nothing in the over-all picture.

All that matters is that Steve Kerzner took and idea and made it extremely successful, and for that I'm a huge fan. Talk about perseverance.

Kerzner took an idea and developed it on cable TV and then took it to commercial TV and Ed the Sock became arguably one of the most recognizable characters in Canadian television history. That's impressive.

Steve Kerzner claims the cancellation of Ed the Sock on City-TV doesn't mean the end of the character, it only represents a new beginning, and that I'm glad to hear.

It may not be my cup of tea, but you can't argue with success and there are obviously enough people across this country that do enjoy Ed the Sock.

May he live on, and live long.

Category: Television

June 25, 2008 @ 11:47

Books, Carlin and Leafs..

Category: Radio

June 25, 2008 @ 11:46

I laugh at those who are opposed to uniformed, armed police officers in some Toronto high schools.

They feel its too intimidating, it leaves the wrong impression and it’s not necessary. They’d rather have the police unarmed, in casual garb to make the little darling’s roaming the halls feel more relaxed.

What a joke.

As Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair says, “if my officers are going into the schools, they’re not going to act as hall monitors.”

Bang on. If cops are going into the schools there shouldn’t be any question who they are and why they’re there. Unfortunately, things have gotten to the point in some Toronto schools that police patrols are necessary and it gets back to the same old thing.

If you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

Ideally, I think it’s the right thing to do, but man oh man do I ever feel sorry for the cops who will be put on this duty. They’re going to be left wide open for every accusation under the sun.

Already the failure of some kids in the system is blamed on teachers, the school board and anything else bad parenting can come up with.

Cops in the halls will only give them something else to point at.

But its got to be done.

Category: Stuff

June 25, 2008 @ 11:45

It’s become quite obvious, Brian Burke wants the Leafs to clean house before he gets to Toronto within the next year or so.

Having picked Ron Wilson as coach, who has a reputation for working well with young players, Burke has obviously directed Cliff Fletcher to get rid of the baggage and that’s why they tied the can to three players yesterday.

Andrew Raycroft and Kyle Wellwood were put on waivers, while the buy out of Darcy Tucker was initiated.

You can’t change history so there’s no use obsessing over the disastrous moves that were Raycroft and Tucker.

Tucker was signed to a long term deal by John Ferguson Jr. just as it became apparent he could no longer do the things that warranted the contract, and Raycroft came here at a huge price – goaltending prospect Tuukka Rask who went to the Boston Bruins.

The only pressing move remaining for the Leafs now, is to finally cut the ties to Mats Sundin. Apparently if he doesn’t sign elsewhere, there’s a seven million dollar contract waiting for him with the Leafs, but that would be ridiculous.

It’s time to move on from Sundin, even if they don’t get anything in return.

To my mind, the Leafs should forget about Sundin, go into the season with Marlies as fillers, stay way below the salary cap, have a horrible season, another good draft and then start spending some money.

Traditionally it’s not what they do, but this is a good time to do it, and I think on the heels of three bad seasons, Leaf fans are ready for something radical as long as there seems to be a point to it all.

Burke seems to have a plan.

Category: Sports

June 24, 2008 @ 00:02

It's a crazy business this radio business.

If anyone had ever told me that Rick Hodge would "not" retire from CHUM-FM, I'd have called them a silly looking bastard.

When the rumours first broke yesterday that Hodge was leaving CHUM-FM to join one of the Astral stations at 2 St Clair West, I didn't believe it. I thought it was just plain stupid.

Here's a guy who had been at CHUM for 34 years and was part of arguably the most successful morning show in Canadian radio history, part of brand that carried more weight than any other in the industry.

But it's true.

Rick Hodge is leaving CHUM-FM..... anything and everything is possible.

I'll be honest, I have never really listened to Roger, Rick and Marilyn because for most of their run I was working down the street during the same time slot. But even since I've been on my forced sabbatical it's not something I'd tune to because let's be honest, it really isn't a show designed for a fellow such as I.

But come on! Roger, Rick and Marilyn no more?

From strictly a branding point it's huge. So what if Rick had been taken off sports and his role reduced to something like mine was at the MIX, it was still Roger, Rick and Marilyn, and screwing with that brand is the radio equivalent of the "new" Coke disaster.

If I was one of the company thinkers, I would have voted to keep him on staff, just to protect the brand, even if he stayed home every day and called in once an hour.

Roger Rick and freakin' Marilyn. It's like Abbot without Costello, like Penn without Teller, Rowan without Martin, Wayne without Shuster, Starsky without Hutch, like Joanie without Chachi, Jesse without Gene, and like Humble without Fred. (OK, not that bad)

But you get my drift, this is a Toronto radio institution that didn't fade away, it looks like in part it got blown away.

I could be wrong, but for Hodge to leave after 34 years and in his late 50's, you get the impression he was either pushed or pissed.

Believe me ya buggers, these things happen.

Category: Radio

June 24, 2008 @ 00:01

Taken from a work in progress, "A Radio Story" by Fred Patterson

It was the fall of 1980, I was in the newsroom of the little yellow house in Brampton when the phone rang.
The person on the other end asked for Fred Patterson and I identified myself.
The phone call was startling. The man on the other end of the line was Bob Wood, program director of CHUM-FM and AM.
He quickly deduced that I was in the newsroom and really couldn't talk so he gave me his number and asked me to call him at home that night.
I hung up and my head almost exploded. What the hell was that all about?
I told Mike Stafford and he quickly gave me an answer.
"It's a job offer"
"No way"
"You watch Freddie, that's what it's going to be. Why else would he call you".
Mike was right.
I called Wood that night and he told me there were some changes taking place at CHUM and they were interested in talking to me. Would I come down to 1335 Yonge St. and meet with him.
Of course I would. Problem was, it was a Tuesday, and he couldn't see me till Thursday. That meant two nights without sleep.
When Thursday finally arrived I did my shift on CFNY, then drove downtown. It was crazy, it was like I didn't want the car ride to end.
I felt good, I wanted to know what was in front of me but at the same time I was nervous and wanted more time before it happened.
I got out of the car and walked up Yonge Street. It was breathtaking as I approached the radio station and saw the big neon 1050 CHUM sign that hung out over the street.
I had seen it a million times before, but only in passing. I had no business being here. This was CHUM, the station that my family always listened to when I was a kid, the station that had the sportscasters who gave me the inspiration to follow that career path.
Yea, maybe I could work here some day, but not now. Not yet. I had only been on the air for a few months.
Surely Bob Wood wasn't going to offer me a job. It had to be something else. Maybe he had heard I was a good producer at CKFH a couple of years before and he wanted me to do the same thing at CHUM.
It couldn't be an on-air job. Come on. I was working in Brampton for shit sakes, how could I be ready for this.
Well, according to Mr. Bob Wood, at the time, Canada's most respected program director, I was ready.
He sat me down in his office and he made the pitch. They wanted me to be their number three sports guy. I would do weekend sportscasts and be a sports reporter for three days during the week.
But here was the best part, when the regular sportscasters were on holidays, I would fill in.
And you know who the regular sportscasters were. Rick Hodge and Brian Henderson.
Brian "freakin" Henderson. The guy who I had listened to while in high school and college. The guy I studied to the point of frustration wondering how he could say so much in such a short period of time, and Rick Hodge, Toronto's first "cool" FM sportscaster.
Bob Wood was asking me if I wanted to work with these guys?
Of course I did. I would be honored.
Wood took me down the hall to meet them.
Hodge and Henderson shared the same office and as I walked in Hodge was reading the sports section of the Star and Henderson was eating a dish of ice cream.
They both said hello and told me what the job would involve. Both guys were down to earth and easy going.and said I'd have a lot of fun and working at CHUM, it would be a good experience.
I was shaking in my boots.
We went back to Woods office and he started to give details. I would be a full time employee with full benefits and the compensation was 12 thousand dollars a year, roughly 50 percent more than I was making in Brampton.
This was all new to me so there wasn't much negotiation. In fact I actually didn't pay much attention to the twelve grand because I was still caught up in the idea of working at CHUM.
Wood asked me if I was interested, and I was.
He asked me if I wanted the job and I said yes.
He told me I'd have to come back in early the next week to sign some papers and he thought it would be a good idea if I gave my notice to CFNY as soon as possible. I agreed.
We shook hands and I walked out onto Yonge St and I remember standing there and thinking, "what the hell just happened".
Did that man just offer me a job at CHUM? Did I say yes?
Wow. I was numb. Like I was in some drug induced radio fantasy world. I got into the car and drove back to Brampton.
That evening I was in a great mood. Delyse and I went out for dinner. A little diner on Main Street that served great liver and onions.
I was excited and so was she. This was going to be great. Delyse and I had got married in June and she was still working in Scarborough. so we could move downtown and it would convenient for both of us.
Working weekends was going to be a bit of a drag, but what the hell, I was going to be a CHUM guy. Small price to pay.
After dinner we went back to our small apartment on Church St. (182 bucks a month) and went to bed. But I didn't sleep. I didn't sleep at all. I tossed and turned and thought about what was in front of me. Confidence and excitement turned to doubt and fear.
Did I really want to leave CFNY? I liked it there. I loved Stafford, and David Marsden and station manger Pat Hurly. I liked having weekends off and living out in the boonies.
When I got up in the morning and went to work, it hit me even more. I had only been in Brampton for 16 months but it felt like home. Yea, they were going to pay me a lot more money at CHUM but money wasn't everything.
Delyse and I were comfortable. I wasn't greedy.
I started to have grave reservations and I didn't know what to do.
Of course Stafford knew what to do.
He told me to use the situation to my advantage, even if I really didn't want to go to CHUM I should go in to Pat Hurly and use the offer to get more money out of CFNY.
But I couldn't. I wasn't ready for that. This was all too new to me. I was more interested in doing what felt right, not what paid the most.
Delyse told me to take my time and not feel pressured by anyone or anything. Just do what I wanted to do. We were young; there would be other opportunities, other offers.
Still I was mixed up and it was driving me crazy. Lucky the offer came on a Thursday so I had the weekend to think. But I couldn't think, my mind was mush. I needed some help, so I called Bob McCown.
I told Bob the entire situation and he started to laugh. He found it amusing that I couldn't get on the air at CKFH just a few months prior and now I was being pursued by CHUM.
He gave me some good, measured advice. McCown told me I was in a no lose situation. If I went to CHUM I'd be making more money and my profile would increase ten-fold. The only drawback might be my schedule. I'd only be doing actual sportscasts two days a week.
In Brampton I'd be on the air a whole lot more and I would be more likely to improve that way. He told me to relax and enjoy the situation. Most guys my age would love a job "period" let alone have a job and an offer.
I made him laugh again. When I first told him the story I forgot to mention that I had already agreed to take the CHUM job. It wasn't until after he gave me the advice that I touched on the fact I had actually shook hands on the deal with Bob Wood.
"So what are you asking me" said McCown.
"Whether I should take the job"
"It sounds to me like you've already taken the job. You shook on it."
"Yea, but I'll just phone him back and tell him I've changed my mind"
Then McCown really started to chuckle. "You don't do that to Bob Wood" he said.
My heart sunk. I was really in a fix now. I should have told Wood I wanted more time to think about the job rather than jumping at it.
After he stopped laughing, McCown told me to do what I had to do. There was no use going to CHUM if I wasn't going to be happy there. I should take the weekend and do what my gut told me to do.
And that's what I did. But it was the most uncomfortable phone call of my life.
"Hello.. Mr. Wood?"
"Yes"
"It's Fred Patterson."
"Hi Fred, when are you coming in?"
"Ah.... Yea... that's why I'm calling."
"Yes"
"I've decided to stay at CFNY."
"You've what?"
"I've talked it over with my wife, and I've decided to stay in Brampton".
"And why would that be?"
Through an immature stammer I proceeded to give him all the reasons I didn't want to come to CHUM, and to his credit, he received it well.
He told me what any rational thinking manager would say. Follow your heart and do what I thought would make me the happiest. Put myself in the environment that would best help me develop into the broadcaster I wanted to be. He showed a lot of class.
He also quickly hired Scott Ferguson to fill the job with Hodge and Henderson.
Ferguson ironically, went to school at Winston Churchill, my first high school. He then went on to have a solid career at CKFH, which became the Fan, and then at CFRB.
You know what they say, you make a decision and you live with it, and that's exactly what I did. I can honestly say I had no regrets about not going to CHUM.
In retrospect it turned out to be a good move. Twenty five years after my decision, Brian Henderson was still at CHUM am, and Rich Hodge was still at CHUM FM. If I had wanted to move forward in the CHUM chain it would have been in another city.
Meanwhile, life at CFNY was a lot of fun. It was an amazing atmosphere. I didn't really appreciate it at the time because I really didn't have a lot to compare it to.
But it was like family.

Category: Radio

June 24, 2008 @ 00:00

It was March of 1989, I was in Dunedin covering Blue Jays spring training and I was staying at the same hotel as Rick Hodge.

We sat through a couple of games at Grant Field together, and when the subject of the next day’s game in Sarasota came up, we agreed to travel together. I would drive.

Late he next morning Rick met me in the parking lot and we embarked.

We got into a great conversation that I gives me no recollection at this point, but it was shortly after we entered the Sarasota city limits that it happened,

Caught up in a story that Hodgy was telling me, I didn’t notice that the light had changed.

I was going full tilt boogy into an intersection that was a “no go” zone for me and at the last minute Rick grabbed my arm and said, “What are you doing, it’s red.”

I slammed on the binders and came to a halt just in time.

Just in time to ensure the legacy that is Roger, Rick and Marilyn.

Category: Radio

June 23, 2008 @ 17:21

CHCH Live at 5:30 now has its own web page with video highlights of the show. Here is today's segment, of which I was a part.

At the bottom of the screen, click more videos, and then click Crime Stoppers condom controversy.

Category: Television

June 23, 2008 @ 10:13

I'll visit the fine folks at CHCH Live at 5:30 this afternoon to talk about "Crime Stoppers" involvement with the Gay Pride Parade.

Should police be handing out condoms with the slogan "Your tip is safe with us" on the package?

Please watch. Mark Hebscher and Donna Skelly are nice people.

CHCH Live at 5:30

Category: Television

June 23, 2008 @ 08:25

George Carlin and Cito Gaston

Category: Radio

June 23, 2008 @ 08:23

The big moment of the weekend came on Saturday during a bocce challenge on the beach.

After taking a shot I noticed something in the distance, and it made my heart flutter. It was red and white and round it looked an awfully lot like something I had been looking for.

A couple of years ago, for my birthday, my buddy Darren bought be a life preserver with the name of our lake on it. He got it custom made on-line. It was the perfect compliment to the Tiki Bar, and looked great hanging from the roof.

A few weeks ago, when we were decorating the Tiki Bar again, we couldn’t find it. The life preserver was missing. We looked high and low, in every cupboard and cranny, but came up with nothing.

It became obsessive with me. I looked under the dock, under the deck and even checked at home thinking I may have brought it home accidentally, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.

We finally accepted the fact it had either been stolen late last year and we didn’t notice when we were closing down, or it had somehow blown off and again, we didn’t notice it was gone.

I didn’t have the heart to tell Darren, and that’s why I lied to him when he asked where it was last week.

Thinking quickly, I told him it was at home, and he quipped that “at home isn’t up north” and it didn’t make any sense.

But I wanted one more week to look and I even went on line to see if I could find where he bought it so I could order another one.

But then Saturday happened.

I took the shot, looked in the distance and there was the red and white circle, lying on the sand near the fire pit. As I approached I prayed it was my life preserver and not some other life preserver that looked like my life preserver.

It was mine. The one I had been looking for, for weeks. Lying there, a little scuffed up and dirty, but having survived the winter after obviously blowing off the Tiki Bar last fall, floating down the lake about a quarter mile before beaching itself where somebody picked it up and left it on the beach thinking it was an actual life saving device.

A great moment in trailer history.

Category: The Trailer

June 20, 2008 @ 11:12

One of the great things about my father was how generous he was with his time. He was the ultimate volunteer, giving his time to the Canadian Legion in a executive position, the Stayner Horticultural Club and the Stayner Food Bank, just to name a few.

He was also heavily involved in minor hockey during the 60’s and 70’s, acting mainly as team manager within the Wexford Hockey Association that was based out of Tam O’Shanter Arena at Sheppard and Kennedy in Scarborough.

He was involved in the top level, which at that time was called the MTHL, it would be what Triple A is now.

Back then, a coaching staff would get a team at a young age and then stick with them for a few years. Changes would be made along the way of course, but the core of the team remained constant.

One of the players may dad managed through most of the 1960’s was former Maple Leaf John Anderson, and he was always one of Dickie’s favourites.

Through the years with Dickie, John Anderson was a good player, a good captain and a good kid, and that’s why my dad was so excited one June night in 1977 when he got the call that John had been drafted by the Leafs.

He and Junie got in the car and drove over to the Anderson’s house and shared in the celebration. Dickie was happy for John and proud as punch that one of “his” kids had made it the NHL, let alone being drafted by the Leafs.

Dickie followed John’s career through the NHL, and for the years following that, would often ask me “what John was up to.”

Well, “what John was up to” was becoming a very successful minor league coach, and it culminated with another Calder Cup victory with the Chicago Wolves this spring. One of their victims was the Marlies.

Anderson won two Calder Cups with the Wolves, and he captured a couple of Turner Cups in the International League.

His teams are always near the top of the standings, and a pressing question has been over the past few years, “why hasn’t John Anderson been given an NHL opportunity?”

He certainly has proved that he deserves it, and there are lots of guys who’ve been given a shot with fewer credentials, but there were never any clear answers…. until yesterday, when the Atlanta Thrashers put an end to all the questions by naming John Anderson as their head coach.

“Andy” is back in the NHL and man oh man, let me tell ya, Dickie would have loved it.

Category: Family | Sports

June 19, 2008 @ 09:51

An anti-spanking bill that was passed by the Canadian Senate yesterday, definitely puts us on a slippery slope.

How involved should the government become with parenting?

The bill targets corporal punishing or spanking, but its designed and written such a way that interpretation will probably cause loads of anguish in the courts, not to mention the time it will waste.

How can you pass a bill that prohibits spanking?

The bill doesn’t outlaw the practice completely, allowing for certain levels of spanking, but when kids start running to police when they’ve been spanked, or when do-gooders report anyone who lays a hand on their kid, who’s going to determine the threshold without a video tape replay.

Here’s part of the wording: The bill adopted by the Senate allows parents, teachers or those acting for a parent to use "reasonable force other than corporal punishment, but only in three specific circumstances: preventing or minimizing harm to the child or another person, preventing the child from engaging in conduct of a criminal nature, or preventing the child from engaging in excessively offensive or disruptive behaviour."
A parent, for example, could not spank the child as a routine disciplinary measure.

Wow. Talk about a convoluted pile of crap.

Hopefully when it gets before Parliament, common sense will kick in and they’ll throw it out.

Category: Stuff

June 19, 2008 @ 09:50

Yes, the great defender. The "R" word. When all else fails, roll out the "R" word and see where it takes ya.

If you’ve driven downtown lately, you’re aware of crappy cabs racing all over the city, honking their horns, nosing in, rarely yielding and paying little or no attention to pedestrians.

It’s nothing new, and given the price of cab licenses and gasoline, it’s not surprising that the taxi-cab industry has become so cut-throat, but at some point, if laws are being broken, the police have to become involved.

But apparently upholding the law is not the main focus of the cops. Targeting immigrant drivers because of their skin colour is the reason they stop cabs.

The Police Services Board will hear this today when they are presented with a report by three authours, who have apparently studied the taxi-cab industry over the past 11 months.

Basically, the drivers are OK, but cops are bad.

Looking for an excuse for getting a ticket is a universal reaction that transcends race, creed or colour. How often have you met someone who admits they "deserved" a ticket? We all look for excuses, but some of us are willing to stretch it to the limit.

Of several cabbies quoted anonymously in the report, one told the surveyors that city police "don't like us for no reason. They hate us, maybe because of our race or colour."

Now tell me, how does a cop defend himself against that?

Category: Stuff

June 18, 2008 @ 10:50

Birds and Obama.

Category: Radio

June 18, 2008 @ 09:47

Yesterday I wrote about Barack Obama and his Father’s Day message to the black men of America.

Obama says its time for African American men to take responsibility for their sperm and reduce the number of fatherless kids in the country.

Failure in school and a life of crime are directly connected to absentee fathers, and Obama showed a lot of guts by tackling the issue now, when he will depend on a large black vote to become President.

Obama called for responsibility, accountability and community leadership, and its interesting that on heels of what he said, the Toronto school board has announced that they want to reduce the black student dropout rate from 40 to fifteen percent within five years.

The aim is to make all intermediate and high schools across the city more sensitive to the demographic roadblocks often facing students of differing backgrounds, and that’s good, but this is better.

TDSB has finally recognized the need for mentors in this process, and that’s the key.

Until the black community comes up with some positive, involved and progressive thinking role models or community leaders, nothing will be accomplished.

It’s alright for a bunch of white guys to sit around and tell the black community what they should do, but it doesn’t go far, and in the end, and nothing changes.

Single parent families is the root cause of the shocking dropout rate of black kids in our schools and until black community leaders come out and address the problem by admitting the problem and create solutions to fix the problem, it won’t matter what the school board does.

There is a sense of accomplishment and status within the Caribbean community connected to fathering several children by different women and until that changes, it won’t matter what the school board does or what teachers do, kids will continue to struggle before they even leave the house in the morning.

Roughly half of the black kids in Toronto schools don't have a father living at home.

But again, I can say it, and so can a bunch of other white guys, but it won’t have any impact until it comes from strong black leaders.

For some reason, nobody wants to take on the responsibility.

Category: Stuff

June 18, 2008 @ 09:46

This morning I was listening to Toronto’s best talk show host, who’s filling in on the am 640 morning show this week, and it was very interesting.

Mike Stafford referred to an article in the National Post today entitled “Taking stock in fossil brands.”

Adam McDowell writes about discovering “Molson Stock Ale” back in the mid-90’s when he was 16 years old. He fell in love with it, but now he’s somewhat annoyed that its only available in certain Beer Stores and very few bars.

This inspired a conversation on the Stafford Show about other brands that have come and gone over the past few decades, and for a fella like me, in his 50’s, it brought back a lot of memories.

The first beer memory I have goes back to the early 60’s when my dad would actually have beer delivered to the house. They did that back then.

A Brewers Retail truck would pull up in front of the house and drop off a case of Red Cap. And I distinctly remember this, because my dad often told me, in the early 60’s, 24 Red Cap cost $3.50.

Can you imagine that?

My dad eventually changed his brand from Red Cap to Molson Golden, and he drank that well into the 80’s until he finally gave up the suds for red Wine.

Along the way he would enjoy the odd case of 6.5 Brador, because that’s what I’d buy him on Father's Day or his birthday.

As a young punk first discovering beer, it was tough for me. I never liked Molson Golden, so “borrowing” the odd beer from my dad was a struggle.

My first beer of choice was Molson Export, but I’d say roughly half of my buddies drank Labatt 50. We dabbled with Labatt Pilsner when it first became “Blue” and tried the other novelty beers as they came along like Oktoberfest and Heidleberg.

In my early twenty’s when I first started working at CFNY the beer of choice was Carlsberg Light. It was brewed by Carling O’Keefe back then, and they were a huge sponsor of the radio station.

After Carling O’Keefe was bought out by Molson, somehow Carlsberg Light ended up as a Labatt product and something changed. It lost its taste appeal and I moved on, getting sucked into the introduction of American beers into the market.

Budweiser and Miller Genuine Draft.

Eventually I gravitated to Molson Canadian which absolutely blows me away now, because I can’t stand Canadian. The first sip always tastes like plastic to me.

After that, it was on to Coors Light but eventually I lost my taste for it as well because I discovered Bud Lite.

Bud Lite. Cool and crisp with no initial shock or aftertaste. A refreshing beer that I continue to drink until this day.

I’ve been called a “beer suck” for drinking this beer. It’s been referred to as a women’s beer by a few of my buddies. But I don’t care. I like it. I don’t like to be challenged by a beer like my good friend Dan Duran.

He often shows up with beers that are dark and thick and bitter, and they have weird names like “Evil Bat Ale” or “Liquefied Vulture Crap Lager.”

Needless to say, Dan doesn’t have to share his beer that often.

I’ve tried other stuff like Alexander Keith’s, the Rickard line, Stella and the Sleeman stuff, but none of it satisfies me like a Bud Lite.

And no, it doesn’t make me want to sit down to pee.

Category: Stuff

June 18, 2008 @ 09:45

I’m glad I’m not among those who decide who makes it into the Hockey Hall of Fame, because if I was, I’d be part of a group of jerk offs.

This is so typical of today’s politically correct society – even goddamn sportswriters have bought into this bullshit.

Tell me how Igor Larionov could be elected to the Hall, while Dougie Gilmour could be over-looked.

I can’t see it, and I’ll start with the most basic argument. If you were starting a hockey team from scratch, and you had a choice of Doug Gilmour in his prime or Igor Larionov in his prime, who would you choose?

No brainer.

Larionov played the same position as Gilmour, and he joined the league in 1989, the same year that Gilmour was instrumental in helping the Calgary Flames win the Stanley Cup.

Granted, Larionov was 29 years old, and had put together a rather impressive career in the Russian league before finally earning his freedom on joining the Vancouver Canucks, but so bloody what. Compared to Doug Gilmour, who is just three years younger, he just doesn’t measure up.

In 88-89 Gilmour won a Cup and recorded 89 points. Larionov was in Russia.
In 89-90 Gilmour had 91 points – Larionov had 44 with Vancouver.
In 90-91 Gilmour had 81 points - Larionov had 34.
In 91-92 Gilmour had 87 points – Larionov had 65.
In 92-93 Gilmour had 127 points and almost won the Stanley Cup while carrying the Toronto Maple Leafs on his back while Larionov had 29 points with Lugano of the Swiss league.
In 93-94 Gilmour had 111 points with the Leafs – Larionov had 56 with San Jose.
In 94-95, the strike year, Gilmour had 33 points in 44 games while Larionov had 24 points in 33 games.

It wasn’t until 95-96 that Larionov actually had more points than Gilmour, but it was just one more, 72 to 73.

After that, Larionov played on a Detroit team that won consecutive Stanley Cups, but Gilmour had 82 points in 96-97 while Larionov, playing on a power-house only had 54 points.

In 1997-98 when Detroit won another Cup, Larionov had 47 points, while Gilmour had 53 with New Jersey.

I’m actually getting tired of listing these stats and to tell you the truth, there’s no use continuing because to finish out their careers, there wasn’t much to choose point wise between Gilmour and Larionov.

The only difference was that Larionov won another Stanley Cup with Detroit in 2002, but I ask you, who in their right mind could allow Larionov into the Hall before Gilmour?

Some might argue that Gilmour played six more season in the NHL so that’s why his over-all stats are that much better. But head to head in the NHL there was no comparison.

I'm sure there are some of you out there claiming you don't measure a player by points alone, but who would you rather have protecting a lead, checking the opposing teams best player or standing up for a team mate?

Gilmour scored, he checked, he was a team leader and he was tough as nails. And don’t give me the bullshit that he’ll eventually get his turn, he just has to wait, because that system blows after you read all the stats I’ve just provided.

And forget about Larionov’s accomplishments in the Russian league and World Championships and the Olympics because the Russians had no competition back then.

There’s nothing to the game of hockey that Igor Larionov provided compared to Doug Gilmour. If anything, he contributed significantly less.

And you know what? I'm not necessarily saying that Doug Gilmour belongs in the Hall, but if Larionov does, then Gilmour should have a red carpet placed in front of him.

Those who vote should forget about patting themselves on the back and being progressive for inducting the Russian guy, and be ashamed of themselves for making a farce of the entire of process.

End of story.

Category: Sports

June 17, 2008 @ 12:39

Not to sound like a broken record, but from time to time I’ve made the point that parenting is the most pressing problem of society today, in particular fatherless homes.

Of course there are those who have their heads stuffed up their asses and won’t address the problem, and it becomes even touchier when it’s pointed out that fatherless homes seem to a problem more prevalent to African Americans / Canadians / (insert other here)

Unless you’re African-Something you stand to be barraged with the “R” word, because its great defense for those who refuse to address the root problem which affects not only the world and North America, but Toronto in particular.

How refreshing that we have the likes of Bill Cosby and now Barack Obama who aren’t afraid to speak out on the topic and chastise their own people.

We’re supposed to be one people, but when a white person questions the cultural habits of a black person, something is lost in the translation.

But when one black man speaks out against another black man, then it holds some water and people have to listen, including the women who bear children to several different sperm donors.

Have a read, then have a listen to Obama.

Category: Stuff

June 17, 2008 @ 08:38

There’s something weird been going on around my house this spring, and this morning it became so bad it woke me out of a sound sleep and I jumped out of bed and dashed downstairs.

Birds are flying into my windows. Not by mistake, but on purpose.

A couple of weeks ago I heard a constant tap against my basement window and when I went down to investigate, there was a sparrow flying at the window, banging into it, and then perching itself on a tree branch before doing it all over again with precision timing.

There was some stained glass hanging in front of the window so I moved it hoping there was something in the glass that was attracting the poor bastard who was literally knocking his brains out.

It worked for a few minutes, but it wasn’t long before he was back to doing it again.

Over the past couple of weeks, it hasn’t been constant, but every so often another bird will come back and choose another window.

This morning it was crazy.

As I said, it woke me out of a sound sleep and caused great concern with a measure of consternation as I rambled down the stairs in my underwear.

There are the front window was a large Robin throwing itself into the glass repeatedly and making quite the bang.

Like clockwork it would fly into the window, perch on a tree, and then do it again. If you put a stop-watch on the son of bitch it would have been precision timing.

Of course this finally led to the question why. Why are these birds doing this and why are picking on my house?

My mind quickly raced. Are they trying to get at me? Eventually will a huge flock smash through the window, attack me, knock me over and pick my eyes out?

I saw “The Birds.”

And then I had a “dad” moment. My dad loved birds and seemed to know why they did everything, so without a doubt I would have picked up the phone and called him for the answer. Unfortunately, I don’t have that option any more, so I did the next best thing, I googled “why do birds fly into windows” and here’s what I got.

Turns out during mating season they’re a little freaked out and when they see their reflection in a window they think its another bird and they attack.

How bloody stupid is that? Now I know why they came up with the term "bird brain".

Category: Stuff

June 17, 2008 @ 08:37

I think we should all know the name Elliot Khelawan. He’s a 52 year old man who’s been charged with impaired driving after leaving the scene of an accident on Sunday night.

In these situations you have to say allegedly, because Khelawan hasn’t had his day in court, and with our court system now-a-days, and with the right lawyer, we all know even the guilty can get off easily.

Meanwhile, we know, if the police charged this guy there’s a pretty good chance the “alleged” part of this story isn’t necessary.

Just know that Khelawan is accused of getting drunk, speeding down a residential street and running over a four year old boy before leaving the scene. The four year old is at Sick Kids Hospital in a drug induced coma.

His name is Elliot Khelawan, and I’m sure he’s made his family proud.

Category: Stuff

June 17, 2008 @ 08:36

I doesn’t happen very often, but I have to give kudos to Dalton McGuinty. On two counts.

First of all, even though he flip-flopped on the issue, I commend the Premier for throwing his governments support behind a private members bill that bans smoking in cars with children present.

Last winter, McGuinty said it was a slippery slope that infringed to much on people’s rights. But he had a change of mind, and this one was for the better.

Even though it will be hard to enforce, and police shouldn’t be expected to drive around the province looking for people smoking in cars, having the legislation in place could act as a deterrent and give cops an option should they need it.

Meanwhile, McGuinty is down in San Diego right now trying to drum up business for Ontario in the biotechnology field.

Predictably, the opposition leaders are yakking about the trip not being necessary, with too much work to be done at home with a hurting economy, but that’s bullshit.

Three days in California may sound nice, but the Premier belongs there.

And I'm serious.

Category: Stuff

June 16, 2008 @ 09:17

The weekend was challenging from a personal standpoint, but I’m happy to report it was a lot better than I thought it would be.

First of all, Friday marked what would have been my mom and dad’s 61st anniversary, so needless to my thoughts were with my mother, who had to endure the first “notable day” since my dad passed away in March.

I was up north having decided that Junie would probably be better off on her own to reflect and remember and probably cry a little bit.

Finally, about eight o’clock Friday night I gave her a call and was impressed with her spirit and attitude. Her voice was bright and she sounded fine… to the point where we didn’t even talk about the anniversary. Instead she talked about going over the Canadian Tire and buying a new hose to water her flowers.

I hung up feeling a lot better, but wondering how I would feel on Father’s Day, the first without Big Dick.

It was OK.

I still count my blessings that we had Dickie for as long as we did, almost 83 years; so on days like yesterday, rather then get bummed out and feel sorry for yourself, its better to reflect on the good times and the great memories to get you through.

It’s all relative I guess. My buddy Darren lost his dad at the age of 66, so I imagine his perspective is a little different. Sixty-six is much too young, and simply not fair.

I actually felt pretty good yesterday. The tin palace is situated in a place my parents introduced me to when I was about six years old, so everywhere I looked yesterday, I saw my dad.

On the end of the dock fishing. Down by the rapids fishing. At Young’s Point fishing and just sitting on the dock looking up the lake.

It comes down to this. You have a choice. Be bummed out, or appreciate what you had and feed off the memories.

Dickie was a great man, who lived a long and productive life and we had him longer than most people have their fathers. It’s sad that he’s gone, but the memories are happy. Very happy!

Life goes on.

Category: Family

June 16, 2008 @ 09:16

Fathers Day and Tiger Woods.

Category: Radio

June 16, 2008 @ 09:15

It was a great weekend at the trailer.

Me and my sweet headed up late Thursday night so we’d have the whole day Friday.

We woke up to the rain on Friday morning so we bolted into Peterborough to pick up my new barbeque at the Friendly Fires on Hwy 7.

Back the fall I had done a favour for my barbeque pal Naz Cavelarro during Grey Cup Week, and the return gesture was a Weber 320 which is the perfect barbeque for me.

It’s sem-portable with a huge cooking surface and it fits on my deck nicely without taking up too much space. And talk about performance, heat the main responsibility of any barbeque and this baby gets up to 600 degrees in no time flat.

On Saturday night we did a couple of racks of lamb and some lamb chops and they were done to perfection because I was able to slap the bastards on with the grill clipping somewhere between 500 and 550 degrees.

Wonderful, just wonderful. Thank you Naz and thank you Danny at Friendly fires.

The weather turned out to be a bonus. Better than the forecast, so I was finally able to get my boat into the water. She’s a beaut.

A 1987 Thundercraft with a 60 Johnson on the back. I’ve had the boat for 16 years but she’s still going strong. Last year I put new seats in it, and this year I updated the cushions in the bow.

I don’t spend a lot of time in my boat, so I don’t see the need to invest in a new one. Not only that, but I’ve grown attached to this one and by making small improvements it’s starting to get a vintage feel to me.

I’m keeping this boat for as long as I can. I should have taken a picture, but I forgot.

Instead, I offer the two “above” pictures of my friends. The first one is a close up of my buddy Dan Duran. Normally, he’s a handsome brute, but I must say, in this picture he looks like a geek.

But let me tell you, the man is a wizard with a camera and my house if full of framed “Dan Durans.”

The picture beside the “geek” picture is my friends Darren and Bruce. This picture was taken at night, with no flash on my little Nikon Coolpix 13. I didn’t think such things were possible, but Dan Duran showed me it was. He’s a wizard.

The picture was taken during the first “official” trailer party of the year. It took place at Duran’s and featured good friends, good food and a couple of women who drank too much.

But I won’t mention Pam or Jackie.

Instead, I’ll leave you with this video.

Category: The Trailer

June 13, 2008 @ 19:08

Linden and the internet.

Category: Radio

June 13, 2008 @ 09:47

Late last night Delyse and I decided to head for the tin palace because the days are clipping by pretty good and next thing you know, the summer will be over, and not only that, but I may have to join the work force soon and three days weekends will be few and far between.

I can’t tell you what my next job will be, but I can give you a hint.

Two words, and the second one is Depot. I’ve always enjoyed working around tools – that’s how I lasted in the radio business so long.

Anyway, I can’t offer much today. I’ve got the internet up here, but it’s slow and I have a whole whack of other things to do.

I’ve got to sand the top of a picnic table and re-paint it. I have to head down to Peterborough and pick up a new barbeque, and I have to get into an aggravating debate with Dan Duran about global warming and how the high price of gasoline is actually a good thing for the environment.

That’s what my day will involve. But I encourage you to check back later, because at 4:20 I’ll be doing another “bit” with Neil Morrison (aka Brother Bill) in Vancouver.

He does the afternoon show at The Fox and he’s been gracious enough to add FreddieP.ca to the list of stations I bark on every week.

After I talk to Neil, I’ll post it for weekend content.

As for stuff in the news…. Those damn Americans have killed two more Torontonians.

Two young men were gunned down in the Theater District and of course it will be blamed on guns being shipped up from the States.

If Americans would stop doing that, we would probably have no murders at all in Toronto because everybody is nice and wonderful and squeaky clean with the best of intentions.

If only more people would listen to Mayor Miller, things would be a lot better.

On another note, the Competition Bureau will investigate gas price fixing in other provinces following the charges laid in Quebec. Several retailers have been charged and convicted after banding together and screwing consumers.

Encouraging, but it’s the first time in over 50 years gas price fixing prosecution has led to convictions in this country.

I think its safe to say there’s a lot more of it going on, and there has been for decades.

Category: Stuff

June 12, 2008 @ 09:16

While trying not to sound too cruel or hard, I’ve got to say, it bugs the shit out of me that the Prime Minister offered another apology yesterday.

This time its for something that happened almost eighty years ago. The National Residential School Survivors' Society saw native children taken from their homes and forcibly assimilated with the general population.

Like the Chinese head tax, wrong, but so easy to say so many years later.

At the time, decisions were made with the best intentions, so I wonder, does anyone of this generation have the right to apologize for those who made those decisions.

Maybe those responsible would be against apologies. They could argue that at the time and under the circumstances and not having a crystal ball, it was the right thing to do, and having someone apologize for them almost a century later, when hindsight is 20/20, would be an insult.

Such apologies serve no purpose other than to re-open old wounds and from my perspective look cheap and patronizing.

It's better to forget and move on. If not, it leads to things like this.

Category: Politics

June 12, 2008 @ 09:15

ABT doesn’t spell anything, but it stands for something. Anybody but Tiger.

That’s the new tune here on FreddieP.ca ever since Tiger insulted some fellow athletes by suggesting nobody watches hockey any more during a news conference to promote one of the tournaments that he plays in that features old guys and fat guys.

And lets not forget, the PGA has also allowed women to play in a few of their events.

Take nothing against women golfers, but as I look back, I can’t ever recall Cassie Campbell playing in the NHL.

It’s easy to fluff it off and say Tiger was only kidding, or he was misquoted or he didn’t mean what he said, but that’s bullshit.

Tiger broke an unwritten law. You don’t insult other professionals regardless of the situation. To me, it showed a lack of class, total disregard for another sport and the growing feeling that Tiger actually thinks he’s special because he can hit a little ball with a piece of iron or graphite or what ever the hell he uses.

So that’s it my friends. Not that I was ever a huge fan of Tigers, I’m done with the guy, and I hope he doesn’t win the US Open this weekend.

I might not even watch any of it, which is fine because it pisses me off when he gets mad at somebody for clicking a camera during his swing, or if somebody does something horrible like utter a few words while the master is trying to concentrate.

Just once I’d like to see him suit up, put the blades on and then come over the blue line with his head down with somebody like Scott Stevens waiting for him.

It would be a joy to watch.

Not that anybody watches hockey any more.

Category: Sports

June 11, 2008 @ 11:01

Family vacations, guns and Ron Wilson.

Category: Radio

June 11, 2008 @ 08:28

I refuse to put the Paul Bernardo video on my website because having the putrid bastard come to life on something I’m responsible for is totally out of the question.

But I will admit I watched it, and I’m sure I feel like a lot of you. I’d like to crawl through the screen and grab the son of bitch by the throat and squeeze the slimy life out of him.

But that wouldn’t be human. Or would it?

According to Paul Benardo, regardless of our actions, we’re all human beings.

It was the worst part of the video for me. The part when he says “I realize I’m giving you guys a hard time, but I’m a human being.” And then rambles on about something else.

It’s sickening, because it’s so delusional.

You can see that Bernardo is enjoying every minute of the interview and he carries on like he’s a legitimate member of the society. He refers to mistakes of the past, almost like he thinks he should be forgiven all these years later.

It was another moment in the spotlight for Bernardo and he soaked it up while toying with a shockingly awkward detective.

And here’s another part that bothers me.

Recurring evidence keeps referring to Bernardo’s favourite radio station, CFNY 102.1.

I worked there at the time, in fact the Humble and Fred Show was in its infancy back then, and it bothers me to think that maybe, must maybe we gave this prick one moment of pleasure. It creeps me out.

Needless to say, the concern pales when compared to the pain and suffering that the French and Mahaffey families went through, and are still going through, but it gives you an idea of how far reaching the effects of such a monster can be.

I’m still not sure what the purpose of releasing this video was, because all it does is provide some creepy entertainment for those not directly affected, but it’s got to be excruciating for the parents of the victims.

They’ve had to re-live this nightmare too many times.

Category: Stuff

June 10, 2008 @ 08:39

No matter what angle you look at it, CBC botched the “hockey theme” controversy by letting it slip away.

The "theme" will still be around because CTV stepped up and bought it on behalf of TSN which has a wide range of hockey to offer next season.

However, if you’re a Leaf fan, and have always associated the "hockey theme" with your beloved blue and white, the association is over. If you’re the type of hockey fan who tends to watch Leaf games, and few others, then the hockey theme is pretty well out of your life.

The Leafs are seen almost exclusively on the CBC Saturday nights, and for the next six years, on Rogers Sportsnet. Only a handful of Leaf games will show up on TSN next season, and they’ll be mid-week games.

In other words, even though the “hockey theme” has been saved, it won’t mean much to Leaf fans; because you’re hardly gonna hear it.

Hey, I admire CTV for coming in and securing a deal with the rights holders, but once you get beyond the business end of it, it’s still going to take some getting used to.

The “theme” is a Saturday night thing and that’s how Canadians came to love it.

On Saturday nights, the average viewing audience for Hockey Night in Canada is upwards of a million Canadians. Compare that to mid-week games featuring the Leafs and it’s cut in half. Compare that to mid-week games “not” involving the Leafs and you can cut it in half again.

The hockey theme lives on, but not many people are going to hear it.

Especially Leaf fans.

Category: Sports

June 9, 2008 @ 09:58

Travel, pregnant man and loony Liberals

Category: Radio

June 9, 2008 @ 09:57

We all the now the Toronto Maple Leafs are a bad organization, mismanaged from top to bottom, so on first swipe it’s not surprising that they’d hire a head coach before they hired a general manger.

That’s what bad organizations do.

Good organizations wait till they’ve got general manager in place, and then he goes out and hires a coach.

Granted, Cliff Fletcher is the general manager right now, but we all know he’s not the guy who’s going to lead this club out of the wilderness, it’s going to be another guy, and the hiring of Wilson tells us exactly who that other guy will be, Brian Burke.

The Leafs may be one of the worst organizations in the NHL, but in this case I believe we can cut them some slack. As ridiculous as it looks on the surface to hire Ron Wilson as coach before they’ve hired a general manager, Wilson’s hiring tells us that the Burke will be in town sooner than later.

Burke and Wilson have a long history; they were room-mates as players in college and have maintained a life long friendship. Apparently, Wilson was Burke’s choice to coach the Leafs, so it’s just a matter of time before Burke is sprung from his contract in Anaheim.

Maybe the Leafs aren’t so stupid after all.

Category: Sports

June 9, 2008 @ 09:55

Have you ever been witness to anything more useless than recent protests launched by General Motors workers in Oshawa?

We all feel bad for those who will lose their jobs, but do they really think that anything they do will change the mind of an auto manufacturer that is losing money hand over foot.

Do they really think they can stand in the way of reality, the reality of trucks no longer being practical to the average driver?

They want to hold on to their jobs and continue to build trucks, but who hell is going to buy them once they're built. It’s a whole new landscape out there, and two thousand GM workers in Oshawa are the latest victims.

Yes, they can blame General Motors for bad planning and empty promises, but in the end, it all comes down to the all mighty dollar, and General Motors isn’t about to build thousands of units that will sit in a field somewhere.

And now the union is talking about wild cats strikes!

From this standpoint striking against a job your about to lose doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Category: Stuff

June 9, 2008 @ 09:54

In Arizona.

Category: The Trailer

June 6, 2008 @ 20:13

Basketball, hockey and golf.

Category: Radio

June 6, 2008 @ 11:15

Grand Canyon, Arizona - Vacations are funny. They always start out slow, and then blow by like you can’t believe.

That’s what this one has been like.

When we made the decision to make this trip just a couple of weeks ago, we had no idea it was going to be this amazing. It’s a part of the world everyone has to see.

I’ve been saying it all week, but I’ll say it again, pictures and videos (or digital movies) do it no justice. I post them so you can get an idea, but there’s no depth perception and that’s why these pictures of the Grand Canyon especially, or not worthy of the real thing.

The drive from Sedona to the Canyon yesterday was spectacular. We wound our way through the Oak Creek Canyon which was lush and green, and literally ascended two thousand more feet above sea level reaching seven thousand feet before entering the highway near Flagstaff.

Once there, you can see Flagstaff in the distance with the mountain range still featuring snow on top.

It then became downright remarkable as we took the Flagstaff by-pass and went up highway 89 through the desert. You go from lush and green to barren and pink in no time flat. For sixty miles north of Flagstaff there is nothing but unfriendly rock which looks like the surface of the moon. It’s full tilt desert.

And the temperature change is crazy. In Scottsdale we had temperatures over 100, but they dropped to the eighties in Sedona. By the time we got to the Canyon yesterday, it was in the low 60’s and when we watched the sunset over the Canyon last night, it was downright cold.

Again, there’s no use trying to describe what we saw yesterday, it’s too much to comprehend let alone describe. When you first look at the Grand Canyon its hard to convince yourself that what your seeing is real, and that’s no exaggeration.

We entered from the east side yesterday, started with the Desert View, and then worked our way west for 23 miles stopping at various places along the way.

It didn’t matter where we stopped, the view was different and just as interesting and spectacular. It truly is a wonder.

Today we’re heading back to Scottsdale, and then tomorrow on it’s the plane and back to reality.

However, if I’ve learning anything on this trip its that I may have found my next calling and an alternative to my quest to get back into radio.

I’d make one fantastic tour guide.

Category: Stuff

June 4, 2008 @ 11:55

Sedona, Arizona - We found a little piece of heaven on earth yesterday. It’s called Sedona, Arizona known for its breathtaking topography and red rock.

It’s one of those things where I can try to describe it, and I can post some pictures, but you really have to see it to believe it.

As we approached the area from the main highway, it was almost too much to digest. We saw what was in front of us, but it was hard to comprehend that it wasn’t a post card or a big movie screen showing some famous western.

We got here later in the afternoon so we didn’t have a lot of time to scout around, that’s we plan to do today.

We’re going to a hiking trail in a place called Oak Creek, and then we’ll spend some time scouting around the actual town of Sedona before finding a good place to watch the hockey game.

I’ll report back tomorrow.

Meanwhile, if you plan a trip to this area in the next little while, don’t be fooled about all you read and hear about “Old Town” in Scottsdale.

It’s nothing more than your typical tourist trappy area. A bunch of souvenir shops selling the same over-priced crap.

And one more thing. I got into conversation with a couple of hockey fans in our hotel lobby yesterday, and they were steamed at Tiger Woods.

Tigers comment the other day “nobody watches hockey anymore” rubbed them the wrong way. It was stupid thing to say, and what bothered these Coyote fans is the disrespect it showed for fellow athletes.

As a good fella named Carl offered, why would a pro athlete say that about another pro sport? Is there no unwritten law of respect?

I’ve to be honest it bothered me as well. Especially when you consider Woods plays in a sport that features fat guys and old guys. A sport where the competitors get pissed off if someone clicks a camera before they swing. A sport where aggravating fans yell "in the hole" when I guy makes a tee shot on a par five.

I think I might join my mother in the “anybody but Tiger” club.

Category: Stuff

June 3, 2008 @ 10:37

Scottsdale, Arizona - I saw the hockey game last night. In a place, that boasts the world’s largest selection of draft beer.

It was called the Yard House and we planned the day so that I could watch the game, while Delyse shopped at a huge extravagant structure called the “Fashion Mall” in Scottsdale.

The Yardhouse has no less than 50 plasma TV’s, but when I first walked in I had to search for the game. The rest of the TV’s were showing the University of Arizona women’s softball team in their “World Series” game against Texas A and M.

The hockey game was playing on one screen at the end of the bar so I sat their with a kid from Minnesota and a local guy, and we appeared to be the only hockey fans in the place.

There was a big crowd because don’t forget, the game starts at five o’clock here and there was a big supper crowd to take advantage of the “happy hour specials” that are a big part of life in Arizona.

I had a couple of Boddington’s and some jerk chicken, while I waited for Delyse who was going to hook up with me at seven o’clock, at roughly the end of the second period.

By the time Delyse arrived, I’m happy to report that the Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings had captured the crowd at the Yard House.

With a one-goal game and the action going end-to-end, eventually every plasma in the place had been switched to the game and the drama increased to a climax when the Penguins tied it up with 34 seconds to play.

Unfortunately for this crowd the game dragged on a little too long. It did even for us.

As the overtime continued the bar emptied, and at the end of the second overtime, even we went back to our room to finish watching it.

But not before Delyse had the ginger encrusted salmon and I had the seared ahi tuna with wasabi.

I had mixed emotions when the game ended at approximately 9:35 local time. I was glad the Penguins had extended the series, but felt for Neighbour John and his boys who were at the game hoping to see a Stanley Cup awarded, obviously a once in a lifetime opportunity.

But not to worry. John has informed me he’s secured tickets to game seven, so he and the boys are hoping Pittsburgh can pull out a victory in game six tomorrow night.

As for touristy shit, we climbed halfway up Camelback Mountain yesterday morning.

It’s one of the things you’re supposed to do while in Scottsdale, so we got an early start to beat the heat and it was rather enjoyable. The entire hike up the mountain is about 1.7 miles with the final half mile recommended for only experienced hikers.

We climbed until we could catch a glimpse of the landscape on both sides of the mountain, Scottsdale to the east, Phoenix to the west.

After that, we hung out by the pool for a few hours, taking advantage of the 102 degree temperatures, and this allowed me to continue my Arizona observation of countless good-looking women with short blond hair and large breasts.

It’s almost cookie cutter. Like clones or something. And judging my the consistent shape of the breasts, I’m sure there’s a very rich plastic surgeon in town.

Today we’re going to the Museum of Contemporary Art (something else you’re supposed to do while in Scottsdale) and then we’re heading north to Sedona.

Ya peckers.

Category: Stuff

June 2, 2008 @ 10:07

Scottsdale, Arizona - This trip got off to a good start because of the Air Canada factor. We didn’t fly Air Canada.

It meant a fast and efficient check in with a smile not a scowl, and a large luxurious jet with leather seats that were half-empty.

Me and my sweet had a whole row to ourselves. It got me to thinking about joining the mile high club but the blankets they provided weren’t big enough and to be honest, given a choice, Delyse would rather open the emergency door and jump out at 37 thousand feet.

I should mention that we did encounter one problem before departure. There were only three American customs guys on duty. It wasn’t the busiest day at Pearson, but three wasn’t nearly enough and it took us about forty minutes to get through.

Just another thing about the Toronto airport experience – from my experience – there’s always something. It’s seems you can blow through other major airports like Atlanta, Raleigh and Chicago without much of a problem, but Toronto always seems to throw you a curve.

Arrival in Phoenix brought another surprise of medium proportion. At the car rental desk it was brought to my attention that taxes on the PT Cruiser I was about to get would be forty seven percent.

“You’ve got to be kidding” said Fred.

“Nope, we’ve got to pay for all these stadiums somehow,” said the obviously biased car rental attendant.

“What do you mean” I replied.

“To build Chase Stadium for the Diamondbacks and the US Airways Centre for the Coyotes, the state of Arizona decided to institute heavy taxes on tourism to pay the bills and rental cars were hit really hard.”

In other words, hard working people on business or pleasure have to cough up more dough so guys like Randy Johnson can have somewhere to make twelve or thirteen million dollars a year. Another reason my interest in sports isn’t what it used to be.

Now here’s the hypocritical part.

I went to the Diamondback’s game yesterday. Whenever I’m in a city with major league sports facilities I like to check them out. Yesterday was no different.

Delyse and I headed for Phoenix about ten in the morning, parked the car for free believe it or not, walked around the quiet city for a couple of hours, then bought a pair of six dollar tickets that were remarkably good.

It was a fun couple of hours. It got us out of the 98 degree heat and into an air conditioned stadium that Skydome haters would probably hate just as much.

In Toronto, we have a closed stadium that opens for games. In Phoenix, they have an open stadium that closes for games. The heat is so punishing, they have to close it just before game time or nobody will come, but it makes for a weird feeling.

There’s bright sunshine and heat outside, but inside its dark and dank and cool. Again, all the things that Skydome haters hate, is provided at Chase stadium. But at least in Toronto, when the sun is shining, you can feel it.

We stayed until the sixth inning with the Diamondbacks enjoying a 5-0 lead, then headed back to the Scottsdale area to do a little shopping.

It’s the off-season in Arizona, so you pretty well have the streets and the stores to yourself. Not that it bothered me, because people tend to bother me a lot more.

The streets of Phoenix were like a ghost town and Scottsdale wasn’t much different. Literally, nobody on the streets, including a trendy little shopping area called Fifth Avenue.

We walked around for an hour so, headed back to the fine hotel we booked, had a swim and 16 oz Bud Lite, then headed for Delyse’s favourite American restaurant chain, The Cheesecake Factory.

If ever you’re down in the states you’ve gotta check one of these places out. There’s one in Buffalo near the Galleria Mall. I won’t get into a long description other than to say you don’t have to go beyond the appetizer menu. That’s all we ever order for dinner.

After dinner last night we stopped in a Walgreen’s to buy a couple of things, we got into a mild argument about the quality of fish oil on sale, and then headed back to our room where we crashed because we’re still feeling the affects of the time change.

Today we’re going to climb Camelback Mountain and then visit an area called Old Town.

Ya buggers.

Category: Stuff

June 2, 2008 @ 10:06

I was in Arizona, but my sweet darlin' daughter Melanie invaded the tin shack with a whack of girl friends.

I'm sure there are some stories to tell, but that's up to them.

Category: The Trailer