March 5, 2008 @ 10:50
Yesterday I wrote a piece about Oprah and how I watch her show most every night with my wife. It’s a bonding thing.
Well last night may have ended it for me.
Dr. Oz in one of her recurring guests and last night he came onto the show after swallowing a pill-cam. A pill that’s a camera and shows all your innards before you poop it out.
But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was Oprah.
Over the course of the conversation Oprah told everyone that she gets constipated when she takes too much calcium. That was it for me, I left the room.
Call me crazy, but the thought of Oprah sitting on the throne trying to force one out isn’t what I’m looking for when it comes to entertainment.
I’m one of those people who like to use the home-throne, and one who gives the courtesy flush when he can’t.
Back in the days when I was employed I wouldn’t go into a stall if someone I knew was in the next one. As a matter of fact, when I worked at One Dundas, I’d go down one floor to Canada Post where I could sit all by myself without anyone ever coming in.
(There you go Corus people –check it out)
I’m the first to admit I’m a bit of a hypocrite. When it comes to flatulence and the fun it can create and I’m all for it, but when it comes to actual movements I become an introvert.
When I florch, I’m caught somewhere in the middle.
But back to Oprah, I really think I’m done with her because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get the image of her dealing with constipation out of my mind.
I once saw a picture of her without make-up and that was hard to get out of my mind, now I’ll I can see is her without make-up and eyes bulging while she tries to make a poo poo.
Lord liftin’ Jesus.
Category: Show Biz | Stuff
March 5, 2008 / 16:18
When I was younger and I'd be givin' the ol' Louisville Sack Slugger to some tasty lady I would think about baseball stats to keep me from bustin' a nut too early.
I wish then what I imagine now, the sight of Oprah watching the return of the black banana in her toilet bowl after she's chomped a bottle of Calicitrate.
I coulda been a long-distance sex machine with that image!
And yes, ladies, we're thinking RBI's, K's and batters left on deck when we're porkin' ya!
March 5, 2008 / 16:34
Howard Stern has made the same point of how he would get $#!+ for talking about something like that, but Almighty Oprah wouldn't. Pun fully intended. Although this doesn't surprise me seeing how she's full of $#!+ anyway, it's probably hard for her to get it all out at once. Oh, poor you!
October 17, 2008 / 09:51
logo school high maryville
August 3, 2010 / 16:55
Over de voor- en nadelen van het afsluiten van een lening zonder BKR-toetsing.
September 4, 2010 / 11:24
Great post!
October 8, 2010 / 09:38
Exactly why in the hell do we let the UN to stay in UN and support it? Kick it! And, the applause of this fanatic causes it to be A lot more essential that there be no mosque at Ground Zero.
October 8, 2010 / 15:32
Lindsay Lohan Is going to Rehabilitate Today,. Translation, she will be calling each of the shots that will go on to generate a mockery within the judicial process. She's going to do the treatment thing till she does not have to substance test any longer then try a three or more day binge.
October 9, 2010 / 01:01
Rick Sanchez went down like the sucka in opposition to Jon Stewart - I question this is the last we are going to see of your guy, man is like a character from Anchorman.
October 9, 2010 / 13:33
Sharron Angle warns of Major Muslim hazards throughout the United states of america, I feel she may mean The president!!!
October 9, 2010 / 13:53
Lindsay Lohan is eligable to get a sentence of one year and that would end in her doing about forty days. This lady has earned the longer time in prison therefore we can all believe we have a judge who see's this.
October 9, 2010 / 18:02
The really hoped for Glee Britney Spears episode was shown yesterday evening, having the nearly always affected on the other hand purportedly recouping performer generating a wonderful overall look, must definitely like her for this, a lot better than that Lohan young lady.
October 23, 2010 / 02:22
The considerably hoped for Glee Britney Spears tv show was shown yesterday, aided by the very often bothered even though reportedly recovering vocalist generating a unforgettable look and feel, got to really enjoy her for this, much better than that Lohan young lady.
October 23, 2010 / 05:22
Re. Gap's logo: I simply cannot sufficiently stress the power of the fuck I don't give.
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