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August 2007 Archives

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The Trailer - Week Seventeen - August 24-27

August 28, 2007 @ 08:00

Yes, it was a huge weekend at the trailer. To some, the most important weekend of the year.

It was The Fourth Annual Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce Tournament. A unique brand of bocce played on a gravel road and introduced to us by our good buddy Jeff who passed away suddenly in 2004 at the ridiculous age of 41.

It involves both genders and to the winner goes the most coveted title a trailerite could ever want. Even those who've won Stanley Cups.

I've mentioned a few times that Boston Bruins assistant coach Craig Ramsay is among the friends I have at the trailer.

Craig bought a beautiful unit three years ago, right after he won the Cup with the Tampa Bay Lightning, and since then has fit in quite nicely.

Over the past week or so I took it upon myself to work with Ramsay on his game in preparation for the touranment and it culminated with his winning his first round match.

Both Craig and I lost in the second round and it was especially bitter for me, because after winning the big prize in both 04 and 05 I've been ousted in the early rounds the past two years.

This year I lost to Pam Kimber. Yes, Pam is a woman but there is no shame in losing to this gal, she can bring it. If there's any shame it should go to her husband Mike who I beat in the first round.

I contemplated my setback with my good friend Dan Bonchek who lost in round one and we realized the key to failure.

The two finalists were my good friends Bruce Mallory and Dan Duran.

Bruce has been nipping at the heels of the front-runners for years, while Dan Duran has made an early exit every stinkin' year since we started this thing way back in 1996.

But this year, Dan played steady and he played patient and he mastered the weight of his ball all afternoon until it came down to this.

Here is the gracious loser.

And later that night The Fourth Annual Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce Tournament ended with the presentation of the Golden Shoes and the Murial Batley Trophy.

The Golden Shoes have become emblematic of the tournament - the shoes were actually worn by the first ever champion, Donny Patterson. (no relation)

We took the worn out sneakers off his feet, painted them gold and from that day on they've been the most coveted object in the trailer park.

The Murial Batley Trophy was added a couple of years later. We have no idea who Murial Batley is - we just found a softball trophy at a garage sale and rather than take her name of it we thought it would be cool to leave it on.

Here's the presentation - and please note, John McLeod finished third.

Category: The Trailer

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Shame Shame Shame

August 24, 2007 @ 10:33

There are so many ways to measure a sitting government, but more often than not you judge them on the grass routes issues.

How the hell can Toronto's police services "not" put "support our troops" decals on police cars.

Chief Bill Blair, obviously in cahoots with Toronto's dangerous and damaging mayor has decided not to allow the "free" decals to be placed on police vehicles.

It's frustrating that it's come to this, but its even more frustrating to not know "why."

The socialist whack jobs on Toronto city council don't have enough guts to come out and give a definitive answer as to why.

Why Bill Blair, why David Miller.

Miller in particular should be ashmed of himself.

But then again he shows no shame in his obvious inability to run a large North American city so why should he care about this.

Category: Politics

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Stung Again

August 24, 2007 @ 10:32

Check this out. I was playing a little bocce ball last night preparing for tomorrow's Jeff Laird Memorial Bocce tournament when I was bitten by a wasp.

I was bending over to pick up a ball, and wham, the son of a bitch hit me like a bullet on one of my left hand knuckles.

At first I didn't think much of it, then I started to get mild itching behind the years and a weird feeling of indigestion. The same feeling I got last year when I got bitten on the foot.

Anyway, I popped an antihistamine late last night and that seemed to help, but I awoke this morning to find my left hand like that of a barehanded pugilist.

As you can see, my hand is puffed up to twice its size and goes right up my wrist.

As I speak the swelling and aching is subsiding, but admittedly I must investigate whether I've developed an allergy to wasp stings.

Thank goodness it's not my throwing hand because tomorrow I will attempt to wrestle back the bocce championship I held in 2004 and 2005.

Category: Stuff

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Soldier On

August 23, 2007 @ 11:32

I had a great day yesterday. I took part in a golf tournament called "Soldier On" with proceeds going to injured Canadian soldiers who want to get on with their lives.

Money will be used for all kinds of things with an eye towards prosthetics for athletics.

"Soldier On" would like to see injured Canadian soldiers provided with the necessary to equipment to train for the Paralympics and close to 200 people gathered at CFB Trenton, or 8 Wing yesterday to help make sure that happens.

I was designated as a "celebrity" which is amusing because the group that I was assigned to had no idea who I was.

But that was OK because by the end of the day, it became abundantly clear who the celebrities are in this situation.

It's the great Canadians who commit to serving our country on so many levels. Like Will, and Brad and Marc and Chips, the four young men I golfed with yesterday.

They aren't soldiers per say, but they still serve the Canadian Armed Forces in a very important and stressful way. They are designated as Supply Technicians and their particular job is parachute riggers.

They spend eight hours a day, five days a week packing and checking parachutes for our soldiers. It takes three years of training, and obviously carries a responsibility that few of us would want.

A grueling schedule that involves ninety minutes of physical training every morning before they even start their jobs. And just to make sure that these fellas stay on top of their responsibilities, every so often they have to jump out of planes wearing the parachutes they have packed.

Sometimes from as high as 12,500 feet, which is almost to the point where you need oxygen.

I felt proud to be around these guys yesterday. Not only for what they do, but also for what they represent - the unity that can and should be Canada. They are four men from different parts of the country who became great friends and colleagues.

Chips and Marc are French Canadians - Chips from New Brunswick and Marc from Quebec. Brad is from Newfoundland and Will is from Ontario.

All four of them plan to make lifetime careers out of the military and they're unbelievably committed to what they do.

Given the pressures of their job, they also enjoy their time off and yesterday they all took a vacation day so they could pay 125 dollars each towards the cause.

And they had fun.

Category: Stuff

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Lest We Forget

August 23, 2007 @ 11:31

My golfing buddies weren't the only ones who didn't recognize me yesterday, neither did Mike Bullard.

I've met Bullard several times over the years, in fact right after the launch of MOJO Radio, Humble and I appeared on "Open Mike."

Bullard also appeared on the Humble and Fred Show a few times, but when I went up to Mike yesterday and said hello, he treated me like someone he was meeting for the first time.

Admittedly it was a big awkward but hey, Mike Bullard had a national television show and still does the comedy circuit, which means he meets thousands of people every year.

Why would he remember a goober like me?

Just when I was going to move on and say hi to Johnny Bower, Bullard said "Do I know you?"

I said "Yes, Fred Patterson from the Humble and Fred Show."

"Freddie!" he said. "Man, are you ever getting grey."

Chew me Bullard.

Category: Stuff

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I Am Honoured

August 22, 2007 @ 09:03

I'm off to Trenton this morning to take part in the inaugural "Soldier On" Charity Golf Tournament.

I was invited to take part as a "celebrity" by Mark Hebscher of CH TV. Mark will act as MC for this fantastic event at the "8 Wing Golf Course" at CFB Trenton.

"Soldier On" is a sports recovery and rehabilitation program aimed at introducing soldiers to the paralympic movement to help them recover from injuries.

The program helps regular force and reservists who have been injured on or off duty to maintain an active lifestyle.

But such a lifestyle requires resources and "Soldier On" helps offset the costs involved with competing in the paralympics like custom prosthetics, specialized wheelchairs and sledges for hockey.

It's a shotgun start scheduled for one o'clock and I'll be there will the likes of Mike Bullard, actor Harvey Atkin, Sandy Hawley, Johnny Bower and my favourite hockey player while growing up, Dickie Duff.

I'll take by camera with me and post some of the festivities on Friday.

I may not be able to post tomorrow because I'll be in Trenton sharing a room with Hebscher and we plan on golfing again on Thursday morning.

All I can say is check in.

Category: Stuff

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August 22, 2007 @ 09:01

I could waste a few lines calling Michael Vick names but what's the use. I'd rather give my opinion on what he did and why the reaction has been so severe.

Above all else, Michael Vick is guilty of stupidity.

What he stands to lose has been well documented, millions and millions of dollars and probably his career.

I don't have to repeat in this piece how much I love dogs and how disgusted I am with everything that Michael Vick did, but I do have to say that part of me feels for the guy.

There is something wrong with the man.

Dog fighting and betting on it is wide spread and avidly followed by millions of creeps throughout the world, but I'm sure very few of those involved had as much to lose as Michael Vick and therein lies the route to sympathy.

How screwed up, misguided and moronic is this man to have put everything on the line for something as needless as dog fighting.

Michael Vick doesn't need to be spurned and ridiculed, he needs to be pitied for being so bloody stupid it's hard to measure his stupidity on the stupidity scale.

He didn't murder his wife, he didn't molest a child and he didn't sell anybody drugs - he was cruel to some dogs, but how he didn't measure all of this in his mind before embarking on what he did is mind boggling.

How did he not think about what the reaction would be before he did it? How did he not consider the emotion attached to animals that would spew forth once his pastime was revealed? How did he not weigh dog fighting against what he had to lose?

How did he not know that killing a dog might actually get more reaction than killing a human?

It's bizarre and one of those inexplicable things about our society, but the results are there to be witnessed and he should have known better.

Such paramount stupidity has to be clinical.

Category: Sports

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Major Meltdown

August 22, 2007 @ 09:00

The title says it all.

Category: Video

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Tomorrow On The Rock

August 21, 2007 @ 11:15

In case you didn' know former Q-107 guy Craig Venn has invited me to be a regular on this morning show in Windsor/Chatham

After leaving the Derringer Show, Craig moved to Windsor to front his own show on 107.1 The Rock, which has a repeater in Chatham at 95.1 - Craigy works with a fine fella named Matt Dumouchelle.

Craig is a big fan of and has decided to bring it to radio through his show every Wednesday morning at 8:40.

Tomorrow we'll talk about a few things you've seen on this blog over the past week.

You can listen live. Please do so.

Category: Radio

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I Wear Crocs

August 21, 2007 @ 09:26

I enjoyed my debut on the Hawk yesterday morning. I joined Mcarthur and Face at 7:15 on a new segment they've entitled "the bloggers"

We talked about a few things including "Crocs."

I'm new to the croc world. I first noticed them a couple of years ago when a lot of kids were wearing them. Then I noticed a lot of women wearing them. And then last summer I noticed a lot of men wearing them.

To be honest I wasn't comfortable with the man thing. Crocs almost look like toys for your feet. A goofy little novelty thing that I assumed would come and go.

The real turning for me was when neighbour John started to wear them. John is a guy's guy who is a lot like living next to Fred Flintstone. He likes beer, sports and big hunks of meat.

Late last summer I noticed John wearing crocs and when I called him on it, he said they were the most comfortable shoes he'd ever worn.

Comfortable? How the hell could plastic shoes be comfortable?

Well the winter came and went and this spring I saw men wearing crocs everywhere. Including a few at the trailer, but I still didn't bite.

My good friend Darren kept me in check by claiming that crocs were for gay dutch guys.

But then last week my wife walked in with a pair. A pair of authentic crocs, not a pair of the cheap knockoffs a lot of people are wearing, these were the real thing.

But they were beige, and when I put them on I immediately thought of Darren's description.

I felt girly and refused to wear them, even though after putting them on for a few minutes I did not how bloody comfortable they were - like walking on a cushion of air.

Delyse (my wife) told me I should give them a chance. I didn't have to wear the sissy beige pair, she'd go back and exchange them for a dark blue.

And that's what she did and since I slipped them on last Thursday, I keep looking for excuses to put them back on. As crazy as it sounds, wearing these crocs feels better than wearing no shoes at all.

They feel so bloody good I'm going to buy Darren a pair. But probably a pair of the cheap knockoffs because John claims they're just as comfortable as the real thing.

Category: Stuff

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