May 2007 Archives
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Two Down Two To Go
May 31, 2007 @ 09:24
Let's do the math. In order for the Ottawa Senators to win the Stanley Cup on home ice now, they have to win four straight. It ain't gonna happen.
Beyond that, in order to win the Cup Senators would have to win four of the next five games and the final victory would have to be in Anaheim where they just resembled the choke machine that lost four playoff series to the Leafs in recent history.
Conclusion - The Stanley Cup isn't coming back to Canada and Daniel Alfredsson will not become the first European captain to win a Cup. For all intents and purposes folks, it's over.
May 31, 2007 @ 09:23
Meanwhile, I think we should cut Mayor Miller some slack.
There seemed to be quite the backlash to Miller agreeing to sign a peitition sponsored by Scotia Bank that officially declares the Senators "Canada's team."
Many believe this is a slap in the face to the Maple Leafs, but really it's not.
It's a goofy little Ottawa Senator style "suck ass" campaign to get the whole country behind this vile hockey team.
Miller's a Canadian politician, so how could he "not" sign the stupid thing. The Leafs are long gone so what's the big deal?
I wouldn't sign it, but Miller is sort of caught between a rock and hard place.
May 31, 2007 @ 09:21
Yea, I've been looking for stuff to do lately so I decided to build a Tiki Bar in my backyard beside the pool.
Why the hell not?
This one will be a little different than the one up north however. This one is framed with pressure treated wood and will be a little more permanent.
The picture you see is what I've done in about three or four hours over two days.
I'll publish pictures of the progress until it's completed - and who knows, if it works out OK and actually looks good, I may even sell the plans.
Sarah Silverman Florches
May 31, 2007 @ 09:20
I received this e-mail yesterday from a regular visitor named Mitch Lackie.
"I saw this clip and instantly thought of you! Sarah Silverman farting
Category: Show Biz
Justice For Some
May 30, 2007 @ 08:14
Yesterday was a sad day for the Canadian justice system, and left the impression that money can pretty well get you out of anything.
The two punks who were speeding up Mount Pleasant in January '06 and plowed into taxi driver Tahir Khan were sentenced to house arrest by Justice John Moore yesterday.
Moore curiously rejected a call for prison sentences.
Instead they get two years probation, lose their license for four years and have to complete 150 hours of community work while living at their parents upscale homes near the Bridle Path.
Not much when you consider Khan who was 46 left behind three kids and was the innocent victim of street racing.
The lawyers for Alexander Ryazanov and Wang-Piao Dumani Ross deny the boys were racing, but that's just as insulting as the sentence.
They were both driving expensive cars belonging to their parents, they were traveling at a high rate of speed and they were heading for the same destination.
They weren't racing? What, are we stupid?
Whether we like it or not, affluence can accomplish quite a bit in our court rooms.
The situation was best summed up by Jim Bell, General Manager of Diamond Taxi who Mr. Kahn drove for.
"If it was a taxi driver who killed two kids in a Mercedes" Bell said "The outcome of this case would have been much different."
June Will Be 80 On June The 8th
May 30, 2007 @ 08:13
I got a call from my mother yesterday and she was quite excited because in her words, she got her "old lady license."
The old blister turns 80 on June 8th and provincial law says you have to take a written test to keep your license valid.
Seems odd to me; if anything you'd think they'd have to take an actual road test to prove they can still see and hear and react. But they don't. What they have to do is take an eight page written test that my mom says was quite challenging.
In her words "it was tough but I only got two wrong. One was something like a yield sign but it was orange, and the other one I can't remember because I'm an old bastard."
Anyway, she got it and she's proud of herself and the best thing is she's not afraid to drive anywhere in Mississauga.
When my mom and dad were living in Stayner she didn't like driving on the two lane highways, and she finds the city a lot easier on her nerves.
So there you have it. Junie Bug is still road worthy and if you want, hit the "discuss" button and congratulate her, feel free.
She visits this site about four thousand times a day because she loves to read the comments.
May 30, 2007 @ 08:12
Neighbour John is a wonderful man who loves just about everyone and everything.
However, when it comes to Wayne Gretzky he gets rather passionate.
John doesn't like Gretzky. He thinks the "Wiener" was over rated and the beneficiary of a great hockey team and a league that went out of its way to protect him. And like most Leaf fans, he still can't get over the infamous 1993 high stick.
"Nothing sticks to the Wiener" is what John often says. He thinks Gretzky was more involved in Bruce McNall's legal problems, he thinks Gretzky and his wife were more involved with the Tochett gambling ring and he finds it amusing that everyone in Pheonix is getting fired except the coach.
John thinks Gretzky spent too much time behind the net, and scored mostly garbage goals while playing on a team with 13 all-stars.
And none of this has escaped John's oldest son John Jr. who has learned well from his dad, and who loves to debate me about all things hockey.
Tuesday night while watching the Ottawa-Anaheim John Jr. made the declaration he'd never seen Gretzky score a goal with imagination.
"I'm not saying he hasn't Mr. Fred" said John Jr. "But to this day, I haven't seen one."
I assured him that Gretzky has indeed scored many imaginative goals over the years, but my point was drowned out by the father who was sitting the background insisting that Gretzky was a "bum."
The debate went on far too long and went into areas that did nothing to support either argument including who would you rather have on the ice, five Gretzkys or five Orrs - an argument I find pointless because to tell you the truth, I'd rather have five Dougie Gilmours or five Wendel Clarks on the ice at the same time given that scenario.
Neither Gilmour or Clark came to close to Orr or Gretzky as individual players, but five against five, I'll take the hardnosed guys who could also score.
As you can see the argument went on way too long and went into areas that failed to support either side.
In the end, I promised John Jr. that I would look for a Gretzky highlight reel that proved he did in fact score the odd imaginative goal and this is what I came up with.
Schwarzenegger's In Town
May 30, 2007 @ 08:10
Steve Nease is a syndicated cartoonist whose been very kind to FreddieP.ca. He sent this to me yesterday, and it just about says it all.
Teach Your Children Young
May 29, 2007 @ 10:13
The family of 15 year old murder victim Jordan Manners plan to hold a news conference tomorrow where they'll call on the province to take action "now" on the conditions which result in senseless violence.
And on June 10th, Jordan's uncle Greg Stolks plans a march against guns. He'll demand all levels of government ban hand guns in Canada immediately.
Both are noble initiatives but definitely not where effort should be spent at this time.
I hate to sound like a broken record and to keep repeating myself but there's nothing going on in the Jane-Finch area that couldn't be fixed with a long term attitude change towards family values.
To be honest, I'd love to hold a march against screwin' bareback without any plans for the off-spring you could be producing.
Connecting the dots in these situations is not difficult. The vast majority of the perpetrators come from homes without a father and many of the kids in the same house don't have the same father.
Call me old fashioned or call me naive, but to my mind that is job one in fixing what is becoming a big problem in our city.
Bad ass kids will find guns no matter what government does. There are rotten people out there who will put guns in the hands of people who want them. It's called supply and demand and it works with every commodity on earth.
We need to curb the demand and the best way to do that is to take responsibility for the kids you bring into the world and turn them into people who won't want a gun.
And if this sounds like an attack against only men, it's not meant to be. Women have a responsibility to be a little more selective when it comes to whose seed they take.
At the very least use a goddamn condom, so your irresponsibility doesn't become everybody else's problem.
And further to that - isn't it interesting that one of the 17 year old accused in the Manners case just become a father, and the other, when arrested, was found with cocaine on his body.
Old enough to father a child and snort cocaine, but too young to have their names released thanks to the Youth Criminal Justice Act.
Get Rid Of Them
May 29, 2007 @ 10:12
It will be a tall order and extremely difficult for police to enforce, but I think banning panhandler in Toronto is a great move.
Thanks to many, an income source has been ruined for a few - and here's what I mean by that.
Every city has down and out cases that tear at your heart stings when you seem them. In these cases you feel good about dropping a loonie or two into a hat or bucket.
Unfortunately, those who really need it have been crowded out by a legion of young smart ass punks who've chosen panhandling as a lifestyle.
And spare me the "you can't generalize" bullshit. All you have to do is take any off ramp on the Gardiner Expressway to see all the able bodied "operators" doing their thing.
With panhandling you set your own hours, you're your own boss and it can be rather lucrative with no attachment to the tax man.
It's great for them, but a pain in the ass for the rest of us and it should end.
I stopped giving money to "traffic" panhandlers about ten years ago.
I had left the radio station and was heading north on Yonge when out of nowhere there was a tap on my window when I stopped at a light.
I rolled down the window and this well groomed, able bodied kid wearing brand new sports shoes asked me for money.
Against my better judgment I reached into my cup holder and grabbed a bunch of change which included pennies with a few dimes and nickels.
I give it to the kid but I shouldn't have. He took one look at the pennies and threw the whole bunch right back in my face - literally.
I actually got a small cut on my lip.