Freddie P's Blog

January 30, 2007 @ 16:02

Since the beginning of the New Year I've been visiting my local Brampton recreation centre to use an elliptical machine, and it's been very amusing. I won't name the facility t to protect the obese.
Like any city run rec centre they have all kinds of programs and one of the programs they offer is personal training. It's not cheap, about 450 bucks for 15 half hour sessions.

It wasn't until yesterday that I actually saw one of these "personal training" sessions taking place and it was all I could do from running out, grabbing a camera crew and shooting some of it for the Comedy Network.

I can't even remember what the trainee looked like, but the "trainer" was a sight to be hold. She was five-foot-nothin' with broken hair (Mike Stafford term) bad teeth and undersized spandex. A real Brampton Sal. (Another Stafford term)

The most shocking characteristic was her gut; it stuck out further than her tits. And watching demonstrate stomach crunches to her student was hilarious. Every time she leaned forward, or attempted to, she let out a grunt and her eyes bugged out.

From my perspective, the student who paid the dough appeared to be in much better shape than her trainer, and that was played out during the cardio portion when the trainer ran out of breath long before the student.

It was funny - however I know that anyone who knows me will be reading this shaking their head wondering how I could make fun of a woman whose gut sticks out farther than her tits, when I'm a man whose tits stick out further than his gut.

The difference is I'm not a personal trainer. However after what I saw yesterday, I might give it some thought.

Category: Stuff

January 26, 2007 @ 15:57

One further note on neighbour John.

He travels to the state of Ohio on a monthly basis and often visits a bar called the Winking Lizard in Columbus.

They have a program whereby you become a member with the sole purpose of drinking 100 different beers over the course of a year. They keep track through computer and when you reach 100, you get a jacket.

John paid his first visit of 2007 on Monday night. He was there for four hours and now he only has 83 beers to go.

Category: Neighbour John

January 26, 2007 @ 14:52

Yesterday was Robbie Burns day. The birthday of a Scottish Poet sweet f-all to me but it's a big event at neighbour John's.

He's of Scottish heritage and follows the traditions of that country quite closely. The attached picture is of John about to eat a piece of haggis that his lovely wife Alison prepared.

I like all kinds of food from all over the world but I still have a tough time swallowing the haggis that is offered to me every January 25th.

Category: Neighbour John

January 24, 2007 @ 15:29

Don't be surprised by the Ontario Progressive Conservative Party making an offer to OPP Sergeant Cam Wooley, this stuff happens all the time.

As they gear up for elections political parties think of every angle to give themselves and advantage and one of those strategies is to plunk "profile" people into open ridings and that's the situation with Wooley.

The Ontario PC's think his folksy and warm personality, along with his developed media persona will make him the type of candidate people will vote for - because we all know people don't vote after doing their homework, that takes up too much time.

I make this point because I can relate to it. Back in the fall of 2003 while working at a radio station, I received a call from the Alliance Party of Canada. It was a month before the Alliance and PC Party merged, and roughly seven months before the next federal election.

I met with two officials of the Alliance Party at a little restaurant just up from the radio station. It was no nonsense and they got right to the point.

They had listened to me on the radio for several years and they thought my profile and attitude was just what they needed in the riding of Toronto Centre. I was given the option of running in Brampton if I wanted, but they wanted me downtown.

The offer was intriguing and I actually thought about it for a few days. But it would mean leaving radio and getting my head around a whole new lifestyle.

I was used to working for five or six hours and day and then having the rest of my day to myself. In politics you have no time to yourself and no set hours. You become the property of your constituents and the party you run for.

It would mean long hours, lots of travel between Toronto and Ottawa, and probably mean I wouldn't get to spend much time in my beloved Kawarthas during the summer.

But in the end, it all came down to money. I looked at the job and salary I had, and then I looked at the job and salary that was proposed and the decision was simple. I couldn't afford the pay cut. Prime Minister Freddie P. would never be.

But shit happens and things change, and now, if like Wooley, I was to receive a call from the Provincial Tories, it might be a whole different story.

Category: Politics

January 23, 2007 @ 12:26

Interesting to see that Dave Keon has accepted an invitation to be at the ACC on February 17th when the MLSE honours the Leafs Stanley Cup team from 1967.

This apparently ends a long and icy feud that dates back to the Harold Ballard days when Keon had falling out with the miserable old bastard.

But forget Ballard, after he kicked the bucket the focus was put on Keon on who came across as childish little malcontent. I mean really, enough is enough.

Keon continuously rejected anything to do with Leaf reunions and "special nights" and apparently this was tied to Keon's opinion that the Leafs shouldn't have stopped retiring sweaters.

Regardless it's good to see he'll be at the ACC on the 17th of February and it makes me feel good for his son Dave Keon Jr.

Keon Jr. is one of the head game officials at the ACC and I always thought that given his position with MLSE his dad might be willing to let by-gones be by-gones to save his son some embarrassment.

One thing that bothers me about what will happen on February 17th is the door it will open for Leaf haters.

I can hear all the bullshit now. All that stuff about having to go back 40 years to honour a Cup team. The last one we had. Hab fans can chew me.

Category: Sports

January 23, 2007 @ 12:22

Something else I did in Florida last week was tune into some right wing radio, notably Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

Before I proceed, let me say this. On more than one occasion I've been accused of being a right wing bastard on this website, but I dispute that claim.

Yes I have become a Canadian conservative but only because of what was force fed to me for the previous 13 years. I have a party right now, but I'm not necessarily partisan.

If the Stephen Harper government gets a majority and then pisses me off I'll acknowledge it.
The only reason I've become a Conservative is because the Liberals have been ramming it up are collective assholes for more than a decade.

Blind Liberals have turned me into a Stephen Harper fan, and I can't understand why more people don't think the same way.

I plead my case because I'd hate to be grouped with the Rush Limbaugh's and Sean Hannity's of the world. These guys are blind conservatives. Pathetic blind conservatives.

Listening to them defend George Bush and the current American administration makes them sound downright silly. They refuse to budge on any issue. No matter what Georgie does, it's the right thing, regardless of the outcome.

But the biggest reason I wouldn't want to be grouped with these guys is because they're cowards, especially Limbaugh. He's a nasty little creep who sits in a little dark room making all kinds of vicious accusations against all kinds of people.

And when he's confronted, he runs and hides like a spineless little weasel. And Hannity isn't far behind.

Category: Politics | Radio

January 23, 2007 @ 12:17

When we were in Key West last week, my buddy Darren and me and visited the southernmost point of the continental USA.

There's a monument at a street corner that declares such and it points out that it's only 90 miles to Cuba. When you stand there and look at a map of Key West, you might argue whether this is actually the most southerly point, but that's beside the point.

I found something else more interesting.

It was one of those gloriously patriotic plaques that you often find in your travels around the United States. I wish I had taken a picture so I could refer to it word for word - but I didn't, so I can't.

However, I do remember one line about the United States being the worlds beacon for democracy, and that made me piss my pants.

It's amazing how Americans declare themselves so many things - especially when most of it is bullshit.

When I read the line about "beacon of democracy" I thought of all the voter irregularities in the 2000 American election and how there always seems to be a higher incidence of voter irregularities in areas with a higher density of black Americans.

And it made me think of the upcoming elections in 2008. If Barack Obama wins the democratic ticket you'll see voter irregularities like never before in the so-called beacon of democracy.

It's all in the numbers. If Obama wins the democratic ticket more blacks than ever before will vote in the next election. As it stands, the black vote is extremely pessimistic and reluctant in the States. It's an attitude of "what's the use?"

Watch what happens if Obama becomes the democratic candidate. Blacks will want to vote and they'll want to vote in big numbers - they'll want to vote in such huge numbers it will probably provide the balance of power - and that won't escape those conducting the election.

I predict we'll hear about more complaints of voter irregularity that ever before, in fact it will make 2000 look like nothing more than a minor glitch.

Once and for all we'll see what the world's great democracy is all about and it won't be pretty.

Category: Politics

January 12, 2007 @ 09:32

Yesterday I wrote about MRI's and how professional athletes in Canada get quicker access to them than the average Joe does.

How is it that some nobody with a bad shoulder has to wait upwards of six months for an MRI, while somebody like Ian White of the Maple Leafs got one the next day after injuring his shoulder on Tuesday night?

I called my buddy Chicken Shwarma who's producer of Leafs Lunch to ask him if he could run the question by Bill Watters. Watters as you know was assistant general manager of the Leafs for several years.

Yesterday on the show, host Jeff Marek not only asked the question of Watters, he also gave freddiep.ca a nice plug. Have a listen.

Thanks boys.

Category: Endorsements | Radio

January 10, 2007 @ 11:28

I was hoping it wouldn't happen but in the back of my mind I knew it would. Justin Trudeau plans to run in a Montreal riding for the Liberals in the next federal election.

Just what we need, another nauseating Trudeau.

I'm old enough to remember "Trudeaumania" back in the late 60s. And this may sound sexist, but the women of Canada were to blame.

While they fell in love with Pierre Elliot Trudeau because of his charm and charisma and a fun loving image, they overlooked the fact he was bad for Canada and we're still paying the price for his economics.

He was the father of the Canada's national debt, while unemployment and inflation soared under his watch. But no matter what this asshole did, including building a deep and embarrassing friendship with Fidel Castro, he remained the darling of far too many Canadians.

Trudeau was also the architect of Canada's multicultural society. I know it's politically incorrect to have problems with multiculturalism, but there are those who are of the belief that we might be better off as a melting pot.

Canada needs people and should welcome people, but it might be nice if more of them put Canada first.

And let's not forget, Trudeau is also responsible for all those bilingual road signs you see outside of Quebec. Money well spent.

But that's all water under the bridge and now we are faced with the prospect of having another arrogant Trudeau to deal with. If you watched the Liberal leadership convention you may have noticed what a chip off the old block Justin is.

But worst of all, he's good looking. Very good looking.

And in this country, that more than anything else could eventually make the guy Prime Minister.

Category: Politics

January 9, 2007 @ 11:32

My neighbour John owns a tool and die company and often travels to the United States on business. However when he travels it's usually to Ohio and Maryland.

That's why I was so confused yesterday when I heard the reports about the peculiar smell of gas in the streets of Manhattan.

Like everyone else the first thing I thought of was terrorism. Why not, chemical terrorism has been threatened many times over the past several years. But once it was determined that terrorism wasn't a factor, I thought of neighbour John and wondered what the hell he was doing in Manhattan. Did he have a new client?

Neighbour John has the worst farts of any man I know. They don't even smell like farts, apparently it's a smell more consistent with a dead body, so he immediately came to mind as a possible source of wide spread odour in a large metropolitan area.

I jumped on the phone and gave him a call to see where he was. Turned out he was still in Brampton and had no connection what so ever to the gas alert in New York.

And then it all made sense to me. Of course neighbour John wasn't in New York. If he was, one sniff of his ass and it would have definitely been considered terrorism and the Homeland Security Advisory System would have moved from "elevated" to "severe".

Category: Neighbour John

January 8, 2007 @ 11:08

I spent a very enjoyable afternoon yesterday. My son Danny and I had lunch with two old CFNY buddies at Wayne Gretzky's.

Several weeks ago I wrote about Kevin O'Leary who used to produce the Pete and Geets Show back in the 80's. Kevin is heavily involved with Amp'd Mobile, an exciting new cell phone company that's coming to Canada in the next couple of months. Amp'd Mobile is building new facilities in the old Indian Motorcycle building at King and Peter.

Also at the table yesterday was Ivar Hamilton. Ivar "was" the music department at CFNY is the golden era and eventually left to join Universal records. It was a good move, because now he's a vice-president. He's also a myspace guy.

I mention this get together because a lot of old CFNY people have started to visit freddiep.ca on a frequent basis. It's just to let you know that both guys are doing very well.

As a matter of fact Kevin just got engaged to his girlfriend Rene, and for those of you who know Kevin this is comparable to hell freezing over. But he's very happy and admits this could actually lead to marriage.

And one further note. Kevin just returned from a vacation in Nicaragua where he was stung by a stingray on a secluded beach. It got him on the heel and he endured a few tense hours before some Nicaraguan natives held his foot over hot coals in order to get the venom out. It's a fascinating story with a much better ending than the Steve Irwin tragedy.

Anyway, both boys are doing well and the attached picture is a Christmas card they sent me when they were Brampton room-mates way back in the early 80s.

Category: Friends | Radio

January 5, 2007 @ 11:13

The call came in about 5:40, neighbour John was taking his three boys to the Leafs game at the Silver City Theatre near our house.

It's an experiment by the Leafs this year. For the rest of the season all the games on Leafs TV will also be offered at local theatres.

Somewhat intrigued by the idea I agreed to join them but there wasn't a lot of time to do what had to be done. We had to leave the house by 6:20 to make sure we got decent seats, so that left only 40 minutes to have supper, buy snacks and get beer.

Yes beer. I whipped down to my local Brewers Retail and got 12 cans of Bud Lite, then zipped over to the Dollar Store to buy three bags of roasted shelled peanuts.

Anybody with half a brain knows you don't buy theatre food, it's too expensive - and they don't sell beer so you have to take it in yourself.

So that's what we did. John stuck four cans of beer in his coat and I stuck four in mine.

Problem is, as it turned out, it wasn't enough. John dusted his four beers by the two minute mark of the second period, and I had consumed mine by the second intermission.
But that's OK, now we know what to do for the next time.

As for the game itself, what can I say? Anytime the Leafers blitz their opponent 10-2 you've gotta be happy. Seeing the game on a screen that big while sitting in the front row was quite the experience. However for some it can have an adverse affect.

Halfway through the first period John's son Ben puked into a large soft drink cup.

Category: Neighbour John | Sports

January 5, 2007 @ 09:16

No doubt about it, Peter Gross is great inspiration for former broadcasters who think they might be washed up.

Peter has returned to 680 News where he'll do the Monday-Friday sports run during the morning show.

He replaces Rich Ralph who moves to the Fan, where he replaces Larry Silver who's working with the morning show on Jack.

I love Peter. I loved him in the early days of City-tv sports and I loved working with him at CFNY in the early 90's.

As a matter of fact, Peter helped shape me as a sportscaster. He would fill in for me while I was on holidays, and I'd listen from afar and marvel at this ability to say so much with so few words.

I decided to work on that aspect of my delivery and it really helped considering the evolution of FM radio that called for less and less formal information.

Peter's a great guy, a great writer and definitely a great survivor.

Category: Radio

January 4, 2007 @ 11:17

Yesterday the attached picture was my banner picture. When I first saw it, it reminded of my good friend Dan Duran.

You may or may not know that Dan and I summer together in the Kawartha's and a few years ago I caught Dan in a similar situation to the man sitting on the right.

Dan was doing something at his trailer wearing a pair of loose shorts. At point he went down on one knee and something hung out of his cargos. Seems he wasn't wearing briefs.

I'll tell you for several seconds I ran the gamut of emotions. I was shocked, disgusted and repulsed - but most of all, I was impressed.

To say that Dan got more than his share of manhood is an understatement. Dan is blessed, and I'm surprised he doesn't need a blood transfusion whenever he becomes aroused.

At the time it happened I chastised Dan for exposing me to such a sight, and he quickly tucked things away. But that image never left my mind. Part of me wondered if I actually saw what I thought I saw.

And then it was confirmed again this summer on a quiet day in the trailer park. The only people in the park were Dan's family and me.

Needing to borrow a tool from Dan I wandered down to his place and upon rounding the corner I had a replay of those emotions from a few years before.

Only this time he was completely unclothed, standing on his deck with something extremely disproportionate banging against his knee while he dried his hair with a towel.

"What are you doing" I exclaimed.

"Drying my hair" he replied.

"But your not wearing anything" I gasped.
"
I like to be this way when nobodies around" he said.

"Well I'm around" I argued. "Put some clothes on." And he did.

I then went into Dans shed and grabbed a wrench - and as I wandered back to my place I became insanely jealous of Dan's selection of tools.

Especially one in particular.

Category: Friends

January 1, 2007 @ 12:02

Turned out to be a fascinating New Years Eve for Delyse and I. First we had something to eat, then about 8:30 we went upstairs, threw ourselves on the bed and got into some power watching.

First we watched a movie called "The Breakup" with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston.

I know it's old but I never got around to watching it till last night. It was an alright time waster with the highlight being the nude scene where Jennifer walks out of her bedroom, into the kitchen and back. Her bum is marvelous.

After that I watched portions of two shows that made my stomach turn. The CBC's idea of a big celebratory night was two comedy specials - the first being the Royal Canadian Air Farce and the second being Ron James stand-up act called Ron James Takes the West or something like that.

Anyway, they both stunk. Ron James is a nice guy and I've met him several times, but his stand-up does nothing for me. Check that, less than nothing, in fact it aggravates me. Is he trying to be a hoser or a farmer or a retard - I'm still not sure what that character is supposed to be. All I know is my buddy Doug can get more laughs out of me standing in my kitchen with a couple of beers in him.

And the Air Farce? We've held "national inquiries" in this country many times regarding many subjects - there has to be national inquiry into how this show continues to be produced. Questions need to be asked.

Like - how, why, what, who's paying for it, who's watching it, who's writing it, who told Luba Goy she's funny? On and on and on. Last night was so flat and so unfunny I can't believe they wasted the video tape.

When I think of all the good young comics I've seen and met in this country - including and a guy like Russell Peters - it blows me away that money is still being spent on the Air Farce. Once and for all please kill it.

And I know what you're thinking. If you're so repulsed by this stuff why do you watch it? Good question. I've always been this way with the Air Farce. I find it so unbelievably bad I'm drawn to it. I have to see what's coming next just to fully appreciate how bizarre it is that a show this horrid can survive for what seems like forever.

Anyway I spent just over an hour watching this Canadian garbage before watching the ball drop in Times Square. And then miraculously the night was saved.

WPIX New York started a Honeymooners Marathon at midnight. By the third episode I was cleansed of the Air Farce experience and I fell into my first deep sleep of 2007.

Category: Stuff